I was walking through a Piggly Wiggly in Racine, when I got the phone call. I didn't hear it, but I heard something strange playing on the intercom. A worship song called "Good Good Father." I had to double take to make sure my ears were working correctly and sure enough. "Good Good Father" is a song about God's love for us, his perfection, and the peace he brings us. When I got back from shopping I called my mom back to find out the news of my aunts passing. She was a very healthy woman in her 90's. As my mom was talking a thought popped in my head, no one actually wants to live until 90 when they can hang out with Jesus. This recognition, gave me a sense of peace.
When I was younger up until I knew what it truly meant to be born-again and purgatory didn't actually exist (;P). Death was my biggest fear. The thought terrified me. After one of my relatives would die, my mind would spiral into existential crisis mode. Was God actually real? or did they just disappear into a void of nothingness. Another thing that scared me as a child ( I had weird fears, a lot of children didn't have, I was a deep thinker apparently) was the concept of eternity after death. The fact that eternity is (reaaally lonnnngggg) It never ends. Conflicting fears: Living forever in eternity or going into a void of nothingness.
To calm us down when death appears the typical phrase is said: "There in a better place" I actually never really pondered this statement, because it's really hard for humans to have a sense of how wonderful heaven really is while being on Earth and not being able to see or experience it. Someone says that statement but our human emotions make us a little doubtful as we really can't comprehend this. Satan surely doesn't, that's why he's sown lies and negativity into death. Death is actually a reunion between God and his chosen servant, a kind of a welcome home party in heaven. I'm not saying funerals should be a celebratory party full of joy, our separation from loved ones doesn't allow us to feel joyful in these moments. Separation from a loved one is kind of an imagery for separation from God and how horrible that would feel. We're meant to grieve in these moments. A few weeks ago Canaan's dad was talking about the process of grieving and one thing he said that really stuck out to me was this "Time doesn't heal, it just makes us forget." Even though a bit depressing of a statement, it was comforting to me. People tell us time heals, but they're actually wrong.
As I said before we can't even begin to comprehend how heaven is or how great God actually is. There's limits on our understanding here on Earth unfortunately. But when I think about heaven I like to think about those moments that when you're in the middle of them you think "I wish this day would never end." That's what heaven will be like but exponentially more great and all the time. An eternity of having the best day ever, doesn't seem so bad! :) To try to perceive God, I think about my best friend how you feel like you'd be content if they were always there, how you always want to be with them. Take that person multiply them exponentially and that's how it will be when we're with God. An eternity of the best day evers with the best person ever. It makes everything a whole lot less scary.
To end we might wonder why someone might have died so early in life, or brutally if that's the case, but the truth is we shouldn't question God. We can be disappointed, and not understand. But everything God does is good and perfect and has a purpose. We can't comprehend it, because God's thinking is so much higher than ours.
