A Strange Feeling

     Tonight something strange happened. I was at a time of worship with my church, and thought about a heartbreaking circumstance my friend was going through. The phrase, this is one of the most heartbreaking things that can happen, went through my mind, but I didn't really feel heartbroken. But I knew I needed to pray about it.  So I went up to make the prayer request, feeling perfectly content, but in a millisecond that content feeling turned to sobbing. I felt the reality of the situation. Not only did I feel my own heartbreak for my friend, I felt a supernatural sadness, that must of been God's sadness for her. Like he was saying, I want you to know how I feel about this situation, and how much I long for it to be fixed. Even though I was sobbing in front of a group of people.  I silently thanked God, for letting me feel his emotions, and be able to be able to more greatly empathize with the situation. I always saw people sob at church, and I felt the sadness of things too, but never in a supernatural way that would leave me crying.  But I'm so glad God shared such an intimate emotion with me.

       It's really heartbreaking when someone is told about God's love, and they reject it, but I think it might even be more heartbreaking when someone who knew God's intense love falls away from him.  I don't understand it.  But that's just it, the devil is really good at what he does. He can take the most faithful people, and turn them away and deceive them. His ultimate goal is to steal people away from a perfect life with God in heaven. To truly know God at such a deep level one moment, and the very next moment fall away so quickly.
       
      It reminds me of a Halloween play  I saw back in October at my friend's church. It was about all the unsaved souls going to hell, and what it looked like there.  All the suffering people, as Satan named off why they were all there. Some people were there for an obvious reason, but one of the boys that was there had loved God, but then fell away, and in the scene Satan was laughing.  This was such a victory for Satan.  A victory that could of easily been Gods was now the devils, and he was so proud of that. It still confuses me, how something like that could happen, especially when you knew Gods love so well.

        In society today, it makes sense to me why a lot of people don't trust in God.  With all the churches being so corrupted, and people adding conditions to God's love.  Rules to follow unless you want to be condemned. People who feel unwanted at church.  But to be apart of such a church that knows God's love so well goes over my head.

          I know that even though she doesn't feel God right now, he hasn't given up on her and he is closer to her than ever.  Ready to take hold of her hand when she reaches out to him again. I don't by any means think this will end up being a victory for Satan.  With our prayers I pray that her process of knowing God will come fast, and she won't dwell in a dark place for too long, and try to do things by her own strength. It's so much easier for a person that doesn't know God to continue not knowing God then for a person that once knew God to not come back to his love. This is because we are no longer attached to the world but to eternity.