Why Am I Single?

       As it is nearing four years since my last relationship if you can even call it that (it wasn't much of one.) people sometimes wonder why I'm single. Saying four years is a long time. Maybe it is. Society is so messed up though, into making us think that we are not valuable if we are single. There must be something wrong with us, if we've been single for even a year.

     Society has taught us to rush into relationships, just to be in one. Because it is so wrong if we're not, because we'll get looked down on. Rushing into relationships that don't work, because they're not with the right people, and people wonder why there's so much heartbreak in the world. People would love to feel loved by anyone willing to love them, that it doesn't seem to matter who it is. That isn't what I want.

      If not accepting being a girlfriend to every boy who asks me out is high maintenance to you, then that's fine with me. Marriage is one of the most important decisions you will make in your life, so I'm just making sure I'm going to pick someone who I think/know will last. Is that such a crazy idea? I'm not asking for the impossible. I've met guys who I know will be great husbands to their wives someday, so I know they're out there.

      People also ask if I'm single because I'm waiting for a guy who looks semi-perfect. Does he have to have abs? This is very laughable to me. I don't think any of the crushes I have ever had in my life, have been on guys with abs. When it comes down to it, I like someone who really loves Jesus, someone who is kind, committed, and fun. (Important: The person must be attractive to you in some way, if they're not there's no reason to go any further. You may want to give the person a chance, but God created attraction for a reason. If your not attracted to someone its probably a flag that it won't work out.

    Another misconception about single people, is the only reason people are single is because they want to be. Maybe for a very few people this could be true, but its not so with me. I would like to love and be loved, it's something I really desire. To get married, and have a family. I fear staying single for life. Jealousy is an ugly thing but I do find myself kind of envious of those around me. So many people I know are in devoted relationships, engaged, or already married, it's hard not to want what they have.

   Conclusion: I will stay single as long as it takes, for someone who God has chosen to come into my life. Until then, I'm not going to go into a relationship just because someone thinks I'm attractive. If God has chosen me to be single, then I'll be single.

   I believe it actually takes a strong person to be single. It's easier to be in a relationship, even a broken one. People in todays society are afraid to be single even for a moment, even if they know it's what is best for them in a season in life.

   It is lonely, and I do often joke about it, saying things like "this is why I'm single." or think about how certain situations might be easier, like always having that someone to talk to. But the real goal is to find contentment in singleness while your in it.  I am not interested in a relationship that isn't worth it, or hook ups. Contrary to popular belief, you can survive without having sex and being single and it's not hard.

     
    This is important too: As a relative for example, an uncle, you might want to tease your niece and ask her if she has a boyfriend yet. I know this isn't meant to be harmful, but if she has to truthfully answer no every single time, its damaging. She, like me, begins to wonder why after all these years whenever you ask the question she doesn't have one. (When I was younger I always pictured going to high school and having a boyfriend, because that's what the world told me should happen,.. it didn't.)