(Part 1) It keeps getting more and more clear as time goes on that I should be getting paid more at my job. This job is not very sustainable, especially with the high cost of living. Not only that, but my job can be very emotionally/spiritually/physically exhausting, but that is not reflected in the amount we get paid. People who stay long-term at my job are there because they value the job itself, not for the paycheck. Many of my coworkers actually have had to get 2nd jobs to be able to afford the cost of living.
I'm basically breaking even. Making as much as my costs. Thankfully having money in my savings for the months I overspend, which has been happening more than I'd like at the moment. It doesn't seem fair that a job like mine would pay so little. One that actually changes the trajectory of children's lives. We teach kids how to communicate effectively, as well as other meaningful life skills. You go into work and there are multiple kids screaming and crying. Dealing with 40 minute tantrums. You deal with changing poop blowouts more often then you'd like. You have to chase after the kids who run out of the room. It's dealing with behaviors. Sometimes being bitten, and scratched, or having your hair pulled. Being spit on or hit or kicked. Dealing with being thrown up on, or coughed on, or getting a cough that lingers for weeks.
I should get paid more for the fact that I have a strong immune system, and somehow have gotten a respiratory infection, bronchitis, etc within months of each other. I now have to make payments on over $1000 of medical bills from just this year, along with rent that was increased by $25 per month this year, student loans, groceries, gas, etc. I am currently working on getting a promotion this month, and the next few weeks and hopefully it will make a difference.
All that said, I do really like what I do at work. It's very rewarding, even after all of the things listed above happen. It is usually very worth it, to see how far my clients have come in MASSIVE ways, and knowing my work with them had a part in it. I thank God that he gave me the gift to do this job well. I'm blessed to be able to have this job at all, and be able to support myself in the first place without other financial help. I am thankful for a savings account as stated above to lean back on.
(Part 2): This past week my doctor refused to fill a prescription for a medication I've been taking for almost 6 years now. I sent an order to get it refilled a few days before I'd run out, thinking they would refill it like they always did. Nope. It wasn't safe to take this medication and another medication I've been taking for the same amount of years due to interference???? Apparently it could have lead to a rare condition that can cause things like hallucinations. Thankfully I had not experienced anything like that while taking the two medications together. But it also made me think about why my doctor had put me on both in the first place if there was a chance of it causing that. The medication that they refused to refill was at the lowest dose thankfully, but it would still cause me to go off of a medication cold turkey, which also didn't sit right with me. It's been over a week of not taking this medication, and nothing to drastic has happened thankfully, besides a large amount of fatigue. The past week, besides nights I have commitments I've layed down after work only to wake up at 10pm or 11pm, stay up for a few hours, and then fall back asleep for the night. No insomnia whatsoever from sleeping too much, and when I do fall asleep it's been a super deep sleep, like I have been knocked out. I'm thankful to have one less medication to take everyday, but man has this fatigue been annoying. I've been dealing with a lot of fatigue in general these past couple of months, and I think it's also due to the medications themselves. I definitely know that I'm on too high of a dose, but will wait a few months before I get it adjusted.
I'm thankful they made me cold turkey this specific medication instead of the other one. The other one is a higher dose and would have definitely had a lot of unwanted side effects for going cold turkey. If you miss a dose for 2 days, the withdrawals are very unpleasant.
I guess this is just a post to say, the world can be really unfair man. Some of the people who work the hardest are getting paid a low income wage. In typing this I know I am blessed to even live in a first world country, and not live in a third world country. Third world countries make up most of the world, and they don't get paid nearly anything for all the hard work they do just to stay alive. So if anything isn't fair, I guess it's that. I don't blame my doctors as I know the body is more complex than we'll ever know, and each person needs a different medication or dose that works for their body, and sometimes that's hard to find, and you have to go through some trial and error, which isn't great, but helps keeps your body functioning.
All this to also say that I have been doing relatively great this past year. I've been tired, but I've also been blessed with so many great friendships and memories, and other lovely things because of God. I thank God for the opportunities and lessons he has taught me through this job that I'll be able to apply later in life. I thank him for the gift of patience and empathy that he has sown into my life to be able to endure this job field in the first place. Thank you God for entrusting me with these children's lives, even in the times I don't lean on your strength.
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