Let's Talk About Death

    I should be sleeping, but why not instead talk about death. I feel like I have so much to say about a variety of different topics, so I was tempted to do a Facebook Livestream, but I guess you need the Facebook App, also I think I am better at writing to convey something then speaking. There's actually a purpose as to why I chose today to write this: 1) It's Halloween tomorrow, and a lot of people portray death as scary. 2) A year ago today Canaan Papa died (a 3 year old with special needs who is being celebrated/remembered today on the anniversary of her death) and 3) I was called tonight to find out my great aunt had died unexpectedly.
      
       I was walking through a Piggly Wiggly in Racine, when I got the phone call. I didn't hear it, but I heard something strange playing on the intercom.  A worship song called "Good Good Father." I had to double take to make sure my ears were working correctly and sure enough. "Good Good Father" is a song about God's love for us, his perfection, and the peace he brings us. When I got back from shopping I called my mom back to find out the news of my aunts passing. She was a very healthy woman in her 90's. As my mom was talking a thought popped in my head, no one actually wants to live until 90 when they can hang out with Jesus. This recognition, gave me a sense of peace.

       When I was younger up until I knew what it truly meant to be born-again and purgatory didn't actually exist (;P).  Death was my biggest fear. The thought terrified me. After one of my relatives would die, my mind would spiral into existential crisis mode. Was God actually real? or did they just disappear into a void of nothingness. Another thing that scared me as a child ( I had weird fears, a lot of children didn't have, I was a deep thinker apparently) was the concept of eternity after death. The fact that eternity is (reaaally lonnnngggg) It never ends. Conflicting fears: Living forever in eternity or going into a void of nothingness.

              To calm us down when death appears the typical phrase is said: "There in a better place" I actually never really pondered this statement, because it's really hard for humans to have a sense of how wonderful heaven really is while being on Earth and not being able to see or experience it. Someone says that statement but our human emotions make us a little doubtful as we really can't comprehend this. Satan surely doesn't, that's why he's sown lies and negativity into death. Death is actually a reunion between God and his chosen servant, a kind of a welcome home party in heaven.  I'm not saying funerals should be a celebratory party full of joy, our separation from loved ones doesn't allow us to feel joyful in these moments. Separation from a loved one is kind of an imagery for separation from God and how horrible that would feel. We're meant to grieve in these moments. A few weeks ago Canaan's dad was talking about the process of grieving and one thing he said that really stuck out to me was this "Time doesn't heal, it just makes us forget." Even though a bit depressing of a statement, it was comforting to me. People tell us time heals, but they're actually wrong.
      As I said before we can't even begin to comprehend how heaven is or how great God actually is. There's limits on our understanding here on Earth unfortunately. But when I think about heaven I like to think about those moments that when you're in the middle of them you think "I wish this day would never end."  That's what heaven will be like but exponentially more great and all the time. An eternity of having the best day ever, doesn't seem so bad! :) To try to perceive God, I think about my best friend how you feel like you'd be content if they were always there, how you always want to be with them.  Take that person multiply them exponentially and that's how it will be when we're with God. An eternity of the best day evers with the best person ever. It makes everything a whole lot less scary.
      To end we might wonder why someone might have died so early in life, or brutally if that's the case, but the truth is we shouldn't question God. We can be disappointed, and not understand. But everything God does is good and perfect and has a purpose. We can't comprehend it, because God's thinking is so much higher than ours.

 

Breaking Bread

     Last night while doing my bible reading for school, I came across something I had never realized before that seemed so significant to me that I hadn't remembered being taught. (The Bible is always revealing new things every time you open it). The revelation I'm going to talk about in the first part of this post comes at the end of Luke, after Jesus is resurrected and appears to his apostles. Here's the verse.
          While they were talking and discussing together, Jesus himself drew near and went with them. ¹⁶ But their eyes were kept from recognizing him. ¹⁷ And he said to them, “What is this conversation that you are holding with each other as you walk?” And they stood still, looking sad. ¹⁸ Then one of them, named Cleopas, answered him, “Are you the only visitor to Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?” ¹⁹ And he said to them, “What things?” And they said to him, “Concerning Jesus of Nazareth, a man who was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people, ²⁰ and how our chief priests and rulers delivered him up to be condemned to death, and crucified him. ²¹ But we had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel. Yes, and besides all this, it is now the third day since these things happened. ²² Moreover, some women of our company amazed us. They were at the tomb early in the morning, ²³ and when they did not find his body, they came back saying that they had even seen a vision of angels, who said that he was alive. ²⁴ Some of those who were with us went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but him they did not see.” ²⁵ And he said to them, “O foolish ones, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! ²⁶ Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into his glory?” ²⁷ And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning himself.
²⁸ So they drew near to the village to which they were going. He acted as if he were going farther, ²⁹ but they urged him strongly, saying, “Stay with us, for it is toward evening and the day is now far spent.” So he went in to stay with them. ³⁰ When he was at table with them, he took the bread and blessed and broke it and gave it to them. ³¹ And their eyes were opened, and they recognized him. 

   Sorry that the verse is so long, but I think it's so significant to have all the context. So in this verse we see that after Jesus is resurrected he appears to his disciples, and at first they don't recognize him. They're eyes are opened at the end of the passage after Jesus breaks bread. Jesus could of revealed himself to the disciples in all sorts of different ways, or just revealed himself to them right away. But he didn't, he actually used breaking of bread. This shows the importance that Jesus puts on the covenant meal. We should do it more than just at church meetings, but in our homes at restaurants, as an intimate thing between believers.

Harry Potter and The Bible

         What a weird name to name a blogpost, but there's a reason for it. As I've studied biblical principles I've noticed the similarities between Harry Potter, and The Bible.

         Prophecy:  There's a prophecy of the birth of Jesus and of Harry Potter. I am by know means saying Harry Potter is like Jesus, because of course Harry Potter isn't the son of God. I'm just saying they're are prophecies over their lives before they are born. The prophecy in Harry Potter is given by Professor Trelawney. So she can be seen as a prophet.  The prophecy in Harry Potter talks about how a boy will be born at the end of July that will defeat Voldemort (The devil?) The prophecies of Jesus, told where he would be born and to whom, and his coming to the world to be the messiah.

          The Demonic:  Just as there is an army that are servants to the devil, there seem to be demonic type characters in Harry Potter as well. The Death Eaters. The Death Eaters are servants of Voldemort who is portrayed as they're leader (the devil).
         
           Warfare: They're is a constant fight in the world between good and evil. Known for Christians as spiritual warfare. We have to go through all these tough things meant to make us turn away from our faith. Just like in Harry Potter where the students of Hogwarts are at constant war with Voldemort and when he'll attack next.
             
            The Final Fight (Revelation): In the last book of Harry Potter there seems to be a revelation type fight between the army of Voldemort, and the army of Harry Potter.  The army of Harry Potter will ultimately win, like Jesus's army in Revelation. Before the final fight, the people on Harry's side trained to improve their magic skills. Where as Christians train themselves in discipline and knowledge, and righteousness for the coming final days when Jesus will walk the Earth again.

              Sacrifice and Ressurection: In the last book of Harry Potter while this final fight is going on, Harry Potter decides to sacrifice himself, and let Voldemort kill him as a means to save his people. This can be paralleled to the crucifixion of Jesus, except in Jesus's case he was not killed by Satan but by people. Just as  Jesus was resurrected, so was Harry Potter. Not by the Holy Spirit however, but by a stone. After Jesus died evil things could not win, after Harry Potter died Voldemort was destroyed. Jesus dying did not destroy Satan.
                                

A Short Revelation

      Today as I was picking out what clothes to wear for the day, I came across a shirt with a saying I used to believe. But now troubled my heart.  On the front of the shirt it says "Create", and on the back it says: "Today I create a life of my choosing".
         A person might believe this phrase if they are not born-again, but once you get born-again you realize how false this statement actually is. The truth is once your born-again you realize that your life is not your own. God creates our world and our life. This may seem controlling, but the reality is he actually creates a world for us so much bigger and better than we can ever imagine.  Our worlds without him fall into despair. Before the creation of the world he had preplanned what the purpose of my life would be, and what great things I would accomplish here on Earth. We can rebel against him, or be obedient to his call on our lives. If I created my life the way I wanted it to be, it would take away all the creativeness of God. God has a better life planned for us, it would be stupid to follow what we think would be perfect., because our perfect and God's perfect are on totally different scales.
           It's so funny how God talks to us, even on things as simple as a shirt in our drawer.

An End of a Season

    On Saturday my life will transform into a new season, as that is the day I'll meet the students I'll be constantly with for the next nine months of my life. It will also be the day that I'll move out of my summer home. The School of Worship is said to be super intense, and will make you mature three years in just the nine months you are there. I have no doubt this will be the beginning of a new season for me. A transforming season, and possibly a very challenging period. I hope I'll be able to write weekly updates of what I've learned each week. Since that season has yet to start, I'll write a summary of the last part of the season I'm in currently: Summer 2016.

May 2016
- I took my last exam on May 13th in the last possible time slot. My Geography teacher wanted to torture us and make us stay on campus up until the last minute possible. After my exam, it was time to pack up from Parkside and move back to Slinger. This meant saying goodbye to the best roommate ever, Huiying. The nicest roommate, whom I had gone on many adventures with. Whether it be trips to Chicago or Six Flags or as simple as going to the Dollar Store or cleaning up the Racine Zoo.

 

-  I stayed in Slinger for the month of May before moving to Racine May 31st, where I was accepted into the home of Jim and Rachel Garnett with open arms.  I couldn't be more thankful for that. Even though most of my month was spent in Slinger, I would go down to Racine each week, so I could finish a church class called V+C. V+C stands for Vision and Commitments, and it's a twenty week course that teaches you everything Living Light believes in, and biblical scripture backing up why we believe the things we do. Thank you to the Kreye family and the Nitz for accepting me into your homes on Monday nights after V+C took place, so I didn't have to drive all the way back to Slinger.
-Before I said goodbye to Slinger, I spent my last weekend seeing Dan and Phil in Milwaukee. Two British YouTubers who were then on their tour in America. They did a theatrical show, putting in elements of their YouTube channels within it. It was beyond amazing, and the set itself was super creative. Thank you Alex and Anne Leviska for experiencing that with me!

-June 2016                                                                                                                                             

-I found out I got accepted into the School of Worship,majoring in guitar                                  

-I saw a lot of movies this summer, not just in June including: "Neighbors 2", "Finding Dory",

"BFG", "Suicide Squad" twice, and "Secret Life of Pets"                                                           

-Went on many adventures with Laurette and Kelsey including: trips to the beach and Shirl's

-Started training as a camp counselor for Recreational Activities for the Developmentally Disabled (RADD) The training made the job seem way more intimidating then it actually was.                  

-Started working at Camp Kinder, which God would teach me a lot through including seeing life through a whole new perspective. (Hopefully a new blogpost on that later).                                

                

- Saw the premiere of "In the Land of Canaan" a documentary that a guy put together about the importance of kids with special needs after his daughter died in October. I connected with this movie a lot, because it reinforced what God was teaching me through my workplace.                                    

- The "Underground Huddle" was launched at West Park.  Something I knew little about that would slowly become important to my purpose for being in Racine this summer. The Underground Huddle focuses on reaching youth in the community with the gospel, and giving them a safe atmosphere to hang out, and make friends with others while doing activities. I am a volunteer co-teacher and friend for the ladies who have become apart of this group.                                                                        

-July 2016                                                                                                                                           

 

-Laurette left to go to basic training for the Marines                                                                    

-July was filled with mostly working and helping out with the Underground Huddle so there won't be much more :P                                                                                                                                 

                       

-In the middle of July I went to Merriville Indiana to go to a conference through my church.  I gained so much wisdom, and got to get to know people more from the church, whilst having the best roommates.                                                                                                                                      

 

-At the end of July I went down to Chicago with my friend Cleo.  We explored Naperville while almost having our bodies melt away to sweat puddles because of the hot temperatures. We did this all to meet a YouTuber (Shane Dawson) who probably wasn't as excited to hug dripping wet sweaty fans. It was worth it, even though it was rushed so no one would be reduced to a sweat puddle on the ground.                                                                                                                                       

-Went to the Washington County Fair with one of my friends, Liz who was home after moving out to Virginia.                                                                                                                                                

 

-August 2016                                                                                                                                         

-Saw a friend I hadn't gotten to talk to in awhile, Liza and went down to Zion to listen to some free live music.                                                                                                                                      

  -Ended a successful summer of Camp Kinder, however I must of picked up the plague before it happened, because I went through it the next day. Which was the first day of our family vacation. Nothing says happy start to vacation better than a migraine, bad stomach, leg cramps, a bad cold, and general uncomfortableness. Here's a far away picture of me going through it while on my laptop.

- The plague took about two days to overcome. After the plague was over I enjoyed fishing, going out to eat, mini golfing, and shopping on vacation in Hayward.                                                            

-After vacation I went back to Racine for two days, after that I would go back home for a week. The purpose of going to Racine, being that one of my wonderful homegroup leaders from church was having a baby shower, and I wanted to help out!                                                 

- Spent my last week at home finalizing things, and got to see one of my best friends from school, and catch up!                                                                                                                                

                                                                                        

                            

      I start the school on September 6th, so before then I'll be seeing some friends, who I might not get to see too often during the school, and I'll be moving into David and Amy Meyers on Saturday, as well as meeting all the people I'll constantly be with for the next nine months!                                                                         

 

 

Faith Will Win, Fear Will Lose

     In this post I'm going to be vulnerable once again, as I feel God is leading me to type out this post.  At the prayer meeting this evening, one of our elders was talking about the concept of "fight or flight".  He used real life examples of how today he came home from work and just felt really frustrated.  Why was he frustrated? He didn't even know? There was no reason. He then began to talk about how if he was frustrated being an elder/husband then he could step down for a bit.  In reality that's not true, that doesn't do anything or help anyone.  It's giving into flight mode. Satan wants us to flee instead of fight. Flee from doing God's work, and instead hiding. God gave me a real analogy in my life on this "flight or fight" mechanism these past two weeks. 

     Satan knows are weaknesses, what makes us want to hide away from life. For me my weakness is my anxiety.  My anxiety was used against me and also for me the past two weeks. (Isn't it great how god can make a bad situation into a lesson?) About two weeks ago was the last day of our family vacation, we had just gotten back from being out in town. I sat down to relax, but my mind was overtaken with panic. I grabbed my guitar, and started playing. (Usually this would soothe me from my panicky thoughts). It didn't. I ran out of the room and to where my mom was. She has dealt with my anxiety before so she knew what to do. My mind kept flickering to that I'd need to go to the hospital to escape this feeling. My mind seems to jump to this irrational conclusion whenever I have a panic attack. I told my mom to take me somewhere...maybe the hospital. (That's never happened). During my panic attacks for some reason my mind tells me running is a good idea.  (I absolutely hate running, and only have the urge when I'm in the middle of a panic attack.) My mom told me we could walk outside. So we did, and that's what I did at first, took off running. (Literally deciding to flight in the fight or flight situation.) My mom shouted at me to stop running, and the rational part of my mind made me stop. It's just like God saying  in points of trial to stop hiding and fight. Don't let your fear win, let your faith win. Faith will win, fear will lose!

         Fast forward one week, still recovering from my last panic attack as the recovery period can take a little time. It happened again. This time my parents and I were in the car on our way home from my aunts at like 9ish. It was dark out. Being in a car at night used to give me anxiety, but it hadn't in awhile so I thought I'd be fine. I wasn't, not really. I started feeling the panic overtaking my mind, I tried to distract my brain with cotton candy (We had been at a festival before going to my aunts house which had cotton candy, no shame). The cotton candy didn't help, and I immediately felt the urge to get out of the car, like my life depended it. So I said just that. I need to get out! My mom made my dad pull over, and she opened the back door. Before the irrational part of my brain got to me and I jumped out of the car and started running down the sidewalk, my rational part stepped up, and I didn't actually step out of the car or my seat. It was like a metaphor for the darkness of sin/Satan coming and trying to consume me, and the urge to run, is to run away from the darkness and hide. Me staying in my seat and not giving in, was God letting me know it's okay and he has me, and he has already won against the darkness, so there's no need to fear.

           Not having a panic attack for 6 months, and then having two within two weeks was frustrating. But if God can use it as an inspiration for someone, then I guess it will all be worth it.  It will also lessen the effect of Satan's tactics.

The First Time I Went to Living Light

     While I was packing for vacation last week, I came across an old notebook that had an entry dated with the date of the first time I went to Living Light. I used to journal a lot, but never remembered writing an entry specifically about this experience, but I'm so glad I wrote one! I thought it would be cool to share part of the entry with you all, so you can see my first thoughts of this great church. It is written in letter form as if I am talking to God, and about the things that I learned. It's kind of short but I think its pretty cool still.

   December 21st 2014 (Gabe Williams was speaking on the troubles of anxiety, which had been a big struggle of my life.) Thank you God for putting Trae in my life and letting me experience this church as well as today's message, which made so much sense to me. You don't have to be afraid, with the power of the Holy Spirit within you. This power of the Holy Spirit has the power to make you appear positive to someone like a light.  You instantly know the difference between them and you. All Christians have these amazing gifts like healing and words of wisdom.  God has already won our battles for us, we're at the finish line, it's okay for us to celebrate.

This is a picture taken after my first experience at Living Light, discussing what I had just witnessed.  If you ever been to my church, you know it's a lot to take in at first, so discussions after your first time. Obviously to discuss the amazing things that you hadn't experienced from a church before.