I am a single woman, more importantly a single Christian woman. No hookups or fake relationships but real ones. One's I know will last. I genuinely believe a godly relationship and godly friendships are the best ones you can have, here's why.
I'll start out talking about romantic relationships, and start off with this statement. Almost everyone has a husband or wife out there when they're single. Waiting for the right timing to come into our lives. So when you're dating someone you should see a potential for marriage. You also should be very careful within a relationship until your married to make sure you're being respectful of that someone else's wife or husband if they end up not being your own. You should be able to be friends once the relationship ends, because things never went farther then they were supposed to. Wouldn't it be so much more worthwhile for you and your husband to remain pure, untouched, giving 100% of yourself to your husband/wife like God intended.
This was God's intention, but its rare for people to have a relationship like this. Desires and lust take over, and it doesn't matter. Our society puts such a big emphasis on being in a relationship as well as being sexually active, basically saying that if you're single and/or a virgin you must be really ugly or really hard to love. Those lies are so loud that it's so easy to believe them. I used to.
Having just left high school, and being treated poorly there, I thought guys would find me as unattractive as the ones in high school did. I was wrong, and I hung out with the first guy who liked me. We were opposites, and I knew I wasn't ever going to marry but somehow I stuck with him. I acted on emotion rather than real love. Our relationship went fast, so much so I don't even know if I should refer to it as a real relationship. Doing things, then questioning why they happened after only knowing each other a really short time. Society is convincing though, as I stated before. Convincing and Loud. I really thought I loved him, even knowing we'd probably never make it.
His feelings were temporary. In life he was never satisfied. Trying to find something to fill an empty void within himself. We stopped intentionally seeing each other, but would still each other pretty often due to living on the same floor. I felt bad for him but was also disgusted by him. (I'm fine now, he's been fully forgiven). Our friendship was ruined, hearts were unprotected, and we acted on emotion. Devastating heartbreak. It could of all been avoided with a godly foundation. With a godly foundation your heart is protected, and you don't act on emotion. You may still experience sadness after a break up, but it will be fast-healing because little damage will be done.
What I should of done, was just remain his friend. He was in a time of finding out who he was and what he believed in. Until you know what you believe in, your relationship will be unstable. After being around him in social events, I would of noticed this and know that he wasn't the best option or an option at all. I would have politely declined him, and moved on with my life. I was vulnerable when I started college, however but God has taught me so much through this experience.
You would think it would of been over, once this "relationship" ended but it didn't. While I was grieving the lost relationship I entered the wrong place at the wrong time. It's still hard to believe it happened. But after this "break up" I was even more vulnerable. Another guy, one who must be able to pick up on vulnerable women came over by me. He was very sneaky and I was blindsided. He was in a different place then me in life, being 25, and I at the time 18. I could see the age difference, and was not interested in anything more, and I thought surely that he didn't want anything to do with me either. I was wrong.
He played it safe, and treated me as a friend. Just a friend, that was all that I wanted. I even thought of him as an older brother. (Just thinking back to that, makes me sick.) Since I didn't pick up on his motives, I thought it would be completely harmless when he invited me to his room. Promising we would just "hang out." I soon realized his intentions with me, and once he found out I was still a virgin, I was even more irresistible. He manipulated me until I trusted him. Ignoring my conscious that was clearly shouting. The voice of society was even louder. Deafening.
I remember him bragging about all the women he had ever had sex with. (I'm pretty sure the number was in the 40's). He wanted to have sex with me to, but I was indecisive on what that would mean. I prayed to God for a solution, and was able to escape the situation. A few days later I gave my life to Jesus. I had always believed in God, but I truly put him as the center of my life at that point. He saved me from something I would so majorly regret. I'd be a number. A woman who had lost her virginity to a manipulative man. It would have hurt me beyond belief if I had gone through with it. Not being able to give my virginity to my husband, after having given it to such a corrupted person.
After having given my life to Jesus I clearly heard him say to longer contact him anymore. I obeyed, and told him to not speak to me again. I was worried that he would just prey on another helpless girl like I had been. I'm happy to say that was the last time I was ever with a person I didn't see potential in. I've had to reject some people, and distance myself to protect my heart as well as theirs. It's a hard thing to do, and seems picky, but its the least painful route. I don't want to spend time on relationships that will go nowhere and hurt in the end. People who act on emotion, and aren't picky usually end up breaking up or it ends in divorce. I want a relationship with a strong foundation. A good foundation can be built through the mutual love of Jesus. Things usually fall apart when Jesus isn't in the center of our relationships or even friendships.
A short paragraph on friendships. Since I have followed Jesus for real, I have had the strongest friendships. I'm sure that most of these friendships I have made through church will be long-lasting. These friends are intentional about checking up on you, and seeing you. These friends see the value in who you are, and encourage you to be greater. These friends discuss Jesus with you. These friends don't only talk about themselves or their circumstances. These friends pray for you when you need something. Etc. I could go on and on. There's so much love in these friendships, and I feel so valued. This is how God intended friendships to be. Though not as perfect since human's are not perfect.
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