Friends

     Thinking about past memories has reminded me about the amount of friends I have been blessed with. I've had such great friendships.  A lot of very close friendships throughout life, not just shallow ones. I can't choose a best friend. I have too many friendships that are very important to me or were at that point in my life. Being known as one of the outcasts as well as "the quiet girl" in my years of school before college, it didn't seem so probable that this would be the case. But God is a good God, and gifts us things in life. For this blog I'm going to go through most of my close friendships. Leaving out some that may have ended badly. If you're in this, take these words as encouragement, that you have had a significant impact on my life. If your not listed in this blog and are reading it out of curiosity, these are the friends you should have. Enjoy some pictures from my earlier years. ;)

     Starting out with my first friend but also cousin, Kayla. Kayla and I would hang out as much as possible, begging our parents to let us sleepover at each others houses. During the summer we would hang out at least once a week. I remember switching off playing Club Penguin and watching YouTube videos, including Crazy Stick Figure Randomness which I came upon while looking for a Fred video. When we had sleepovers and it was time to go home, we would hide so we wouldn't have to go home, or say that one of was sick and needed to stay. The flaw in that logic was that when you're sick your parents take care of you. We each also had our own collections of dog statues that we would play with together instead of Barbies. You're the only one I know that also collected those. You're hilarious and so kind, and I'm glad we have so many memories together.

      The next person I'm going to mention is Cheyenne. We met on the first day of Middle School. She was sitting alone, and it was as if I was a new student, since none of my friends from Elementary School wanted to be friends anymore. Pursuing popularity instead. (I guess you couldn't be popular if you were friends with me.)  Seeing you alone, and also being lonely I asked if I could join you. You said yes and we silently ate our lunches across the table from each other. When you became friends with others you asked me to join your friend group, where some of my other best friends were founded. You could act crazy but also have a kind compassionate heart and give advice. At some point you became distant from me as if I had upset you in some way but you never told me why. Nevertheless you helped me survive middle school and I enjoyed our Culvers dates and being in choir with you. You never liked getting your picture taken, but I thought I'd post one anyway.

     Alexis. I think that Cheyenne introduced you to me. Since then we have had loads of memories together. I actually think that I met you in 3rd grade at Girl Scouts, but we weren't friends then. I'll never forget the weird crazy parties that ensued in your basement or when I went to youth group at your church at the time. Some of my best memories were made there. You were such a loyal/protective friend. I can't forget the times we played Truth or Dare, or when I watched "Twilight" for the first time in your basement. Also all the YouTube videos we watched together. 

     Alicia: I think our friendship has ended and I'm not really sure what you think of me anymore, but I probably hung out with you more than anyone in middle school and high school. We went so many places together. We had so many inside jokes, and only things we seemed to understand in our weird minds. I remember throwing Pokemon cards at each other and putting pieces of popcorn on pretzel sticks and pretending they were people. We would talk about all the people we didn't like in school with weird code names including: Pegasus, Coconut, and Gak. You were really quiet when I first met you, but we both had a tough time keeping quiet when we were around each other. We wrote notes to each other in class, and made up situations whether fictional or real.

    Liz: You were Alicia's childhood friend and lived a walk away from each other since the 3rd grade. I felt like I was interfering in your friendship, but you both remained close as well. You were quiet as well when I first met you, but talked quite a bit when we were around each other. A memory that pops up when I think of you is us practicing playing volleyball during the summer, as if we had any chance of making the team. I think I went to a volleyball camp that same summer, and absolutely hated it, and was yelled at for being so horrible. They said it would include beginner people learning volleyball but all of them were experts. The sleepovers at your house were some of the best, although pretty crazy as well. I faked sleepwalking at one party. Someone got scared when I sat up in the night. They thought I might be sleeping still so I went along with it. I wasn't a good actor, but everyone got pretty scared like they'd seen a zombie. You are a strong woman with all that you have been through in life, just be confident in that.

     Amber: We met in 6th grade when we turned out to be the only girls taking General Music. Because of this we did projects together, not wanting to pair up with any of the boys. I'm pretty sure when I shared that with you, you said you didn't like me very much back then. We really became close in high school. You had a separate group of friends in middle school. You are still one of my closest friends to this day, and basically the one I keep in contact with most often that went to school with me before college. We usually tag each other or send each other random videos or pictures a couple times a week. I introduced you to my love of Stranger Things, and you introduced me to your love of Bob's Burgers. You thought Stranger Things would be too scary, and I thought Bob's Burgers would be awful, but we both were wrong. We also liked the same type of music, and saw twenty-one-pilots together twice, and Paul McCartney. The first time we saw twenty-one-pilots was in 2013 when no one knew about them yet. (We didn't either, but became obsessed with their music afterwards.)  One memory I have of you was the dance we went to through your church in Sheboygan, I think it was close to New Year's Eve. It was an old-fashioned type of dance where the guys would ask the girls to dance with them. I'm glad that our friendship has survived, and we're able to support and encourage each other. You are an incredibly strong person, who's been through so much. Probably one of the strongest people I know, which inspires me to stay strong as well. One final memory I have of us, is that we were at Dairy Queen trying to eat ice cream but I was laughing too hard. There was a young child staring at me weirdly and I couldn't stop giggling. Then you'd look at me once the child was gone  and I'd resume laughing. 

  

   Hazuki: I was throwing a party at the end of summer and invited one of my friends along. This friend had just gotten an exchange student and asked if she could bring her. I agreed, and there you were. You didn't say a lot the first time we met, due to not knowing much English at all. The 10 months you were in Wisconsin however you became really good at it. We became pretty inseparable those 10 months that you were here, and people mistook you for being my exchange student because of this. We would never get tired of each other, and I wanted to see you as much as humanly possible because you just got me so well. You also helped me survive gym class. I remember the teacher assigned us groups for warm ups, but one day I decided I would be in your group, and the teacher never noticed. I would also sneak into the band practice rooms during my studyhall to spend time with you and watch you play piano. Singing one direction songs, who I knew nothing about until you told me about them. I remember making cupcakes at midnight with you during a sleepover. We also got matching necklaces that spelled Best Friends, so when you went back to Japan we'd think of each other. It was so hard when you left but our friendship is still there. We each sent each other Christmas cards this year. In the first couple years we would send each other things for Christmas and birthdays. You came back for a month 2 years later after I had graduated high school and our friendship was still strong and I believe it'd still be strong after 6 years of knowing each other. I will never forget how we jumped in a lake fully clothed after going ziplining. You loved doing scary things. When you first asked me to go ziplining I was terrified, but it was great. 

   

Christian: You sat in front of me in Spanish class, my sophomore year. When it was time to do games we would just goof off with Kelsey Berg, and Katie Hart. We had so much fun in that class. I remember falling off of my chair laughing at one of the cheesy videos that was played in Spanish. Fast forward one year, we didn't keep in touch over that year. I asked you to come to Prom with me as friends. Not actually thinking you would agree, since we didn't know each other much back then. But you did, and made sure it would be a great experience. I remember you asking me throughout the night if I was having a good time. I really couldn't have asked for a better prom date. You are such a genuine, caring person. After this experience we became great friends. We made a YouTube channel where we did strange challenges and basically vlogged. We also went to youth group at a local church. I remember how one summer day we had a sort of picnic in your backyard. I also remember putting cucumbers over my eyes and having you take a pictures, or maybe it was a selfie during Spanish class. (We had Spanish together again my senior year, and you sat in front of me again). When I went off to college and we hadn't seen each other we met up for coffee and it was so uplifting and encouraging. I hope I can see you soon, even though you live so many states away now. You are also a very sassy person, and I kind of miss having that in my life. 

    

   Camara: We met when we were both on Stage Crew for Cinderella. You introduced yourself to me and we instantly became friends after that. During intermission we would sit in the thrones, and pretended to be king and queen. Unfortunately when we met, it was your last year of high school since you were two years older than I was. You somehow got the nickname Mom. You brought joy with you wherever you went, and I remember one time smiling so big when I came to pick you  up once because I was so excited to get to spend time with you. When you did go off to college, we still would hang out during the summers.  We even had a picnic at a park. The food we had included: Big Macs and super horrible grape soda from the dollar store. Seeing Phantom of the Opera together in Milwaukee was so much fun, as well as the time we spent at Summerfest. 

Julia: You introduced yourself to me one night during musical practice my Junior Year. After you introduced yourself to me you told me to take care of Phyllis, a unicorn shaped eraser. You got along with everyone, and were the most Christlike person I knew in high school. Never holding grudges, complaining, or angry.  You were so patient and loving towards people. I don't think there was anyone who didn't like you. You were so fun to be around and adventurous. I remember you made me pull over so you could get the ball that got kicked across the road and roll it back across the street. You were also super strong even though I believe you were shorter, and had the ability to pick me up, which became our thing when taking pictures. No one had ever tried to pick me up before since I'm taller, but you didn't hesitate.  One of my best memories was us going down to Illinois to your grandparents house for the weekend. A house right on the lake. We skipped rocks across the ice and it made the weirdest noise. That night we did activities all night at a local church to bring in the New Year. We were able to take a short nap on New Years Day, but were completely exhausted during school the next day. Just like I called Camara mom, you called me mom. You insisted I called you son. So when we saw each other in the hallway you'd shout mom and I'd shout son! back at you. You moved to Utah during my Senior Year at high school, but one day you visited as I was napping on the couch at home and came right in and sat on me to wake me up. 

Angela: We actually met through a Facebook group even though we went to the same school together. After making funny remarks on a thread we decided to hang out. Once school started we became pretty close. You would make me heart pancakes for breakfast after sleep overs. I also remember having a snowball fight during one winter where there was a lot of snow. It was so much fun and nostalgic. You were very childlike and energetic, always bringing fun situations wherever you went. One of my favorite memories of you is when you came over to my house and we played charades, and we just laughed so hard. I also remember eating cookie dough with you while we watched the theatre people do a preview of Beauty and the Beast. Another great moment was after going to Festival of Lights we went over to Culvers and took one of the coloring pages of Scoopie and colored him in. Mine ended up having blood shot eyes, and blood I think... I left it at the table with one of the cashier's name's on it. They probably thought of it as a threat, which was not my intention. :p

Laurette: Going to college was like a new beginning in my life, which was both scary and exciting. Going to a school with no one from high school to lean on. It turned out to be really great though. I met you during Ranger Welcome, which is where all the Freshman do activities together for the day. We could pick which activity we wanted to do, and I picked flamingo painting. (The others on my dorm floor decided to do sports.) I met you on the way while you were hanging out with an Australian exchange student. I got both of your numbers after decorating the flamingo to hang out with you, because I really enjoyed your company. You carried a positive attitude everywhere you went, and excitement for the little things. Throughout the years we set up a ton of activities, some being completely spontaneous but you would be down for it. We only went to college together for one year sadly, but I'm so blessed to still call you a great friend. Thanks for being there, and accompanying me to random events, including meeting Tyler Oakley, and seeing Troye Sivan. You are such a tough person. Training for track season, and following your passion to become a Marine. Thanks for also accompanying me to the Cru retreats. It was really great to have you there with me at both, even though you're horrible to share a bed with. I was only half on the bed most nights. :) I love how we get mistaken as a lesbian couple in most places despite not acting like one.

  

   Jeremy: I met you at the Christian group on campus. I finally got the information on where it was held and at what time. I went with one of the people from my dorm floor. You were one of the greeters and you smiled so big. I didn't have a very good first impression of you because of that. I thought you were an overexcited Jesus Freak, but I guess that's both me and you since I started to follow Jesus for real. At the beginning of college I believed in God and sought him out but wasn't really following him. I got saved at the beginning of October my freshman year. Before that however I got invited to a frat party by a guy I didn't know. That same day you came to my dorm floor where I was hanging out in the lounge, and invited me to a bible study. I had a choice. Go to the frat party or the bible study. I chose correctly and went to the bible study. Who knows what would of happened to me had I gone to the frat party. I got saved the next weekend from when I went to Cru, after I chose to go on the Fall Retreat. This is where we bonded over twenty-one-pilots (not many people knew about them then). You introduced me to a lot of great music throughout the year and a half. We got really close and started doing tons together. You even began going to my church despite your church being right behind mine. We told each other everything, which may have landed us to the downfall of our friendship. Talking about everything, leaving out no details, talking for hours on Twitter into the late hours of the night. We spent too much one on one time together, which is a dangerous thing to do unless you were dating. A lot of people told us how they wished we would be in a relationship which added extra stress on our friendship. I will not forget the memories we shared, and am sad that our friendship had to end. Times with you were filled with fun and laughs. I'm glad I got to go on a trip with you and your family to your annual church conference in Pennsylvania. 

    Courtney: I think Laurette introduced me to you after being on the cross country/track team together. You were always full of joy as well. I don't think I ever saw you not joyful. After a year of living in Kenosha, I discovered downtown Kenosha because of you. You took me to Common Grounds and told me to try the Raspberry Chai Tea Latte, and I order it every single time I go there now. It's so good. I also went on the lake-walk along Lake Michigan for the first time with you. You held a bible study one year at Parkside, and if I could wake up from my nap in time I'd go to it. It was full of so much fruit. Probably one of my favorite if not my favorite bible study I've been to. You were also brought encouragement everywhere you went, and showed excitement to everyone you met. You were also so bold. There was a playground close to your yard and in the park a guy sat and played guitar. You wrote about him and left the note on the bench when he left.(a poem).  He came back and set the note aside not knowing what you had written. I think you went out and told him to read it. I loved the mornings we spent together worshiping Jesus at Trae's house. Those held some of my greatest memories. I remember you going door to door with Ethan in search for butter to make mac and cheese that you had found in Trae's pantry. You would send me texts just to see how I was, always with multiple exclamation points. Even though we haven't hung out in over a year I value your friendship so much. 

                                         

Kelsey: Shortly after meeting Courtney I met you through her I think. You are such a sweet and pretty lady. I love going to your house, it feels so homey. Country house, with a horse barn with goats and chickens. With three dogs and a cat in the house. One dog expected attention constantly, when you weren't petting her she would give you a depressed look like she hadn't been petted in her life, then you'd give in and keep petting her. I also really enjoyed our long spiritual talks and our love for Jesus. You always have the best meals at your house, even though everything is really healthy and organic. It was just a joy to spend time with you. You didn't like getting your picture taken so here's one that was taken secretly. I think I was in the middle of chewing at the time. I just want you to know I genuinely think your really pretty. 

  Huiying: You were the best roommate I've ever had. The day I first saw you, you barely knew any English since you were from China. I remember expecting to just know it, and speaking really fast at you the first time we talked and you looked so confused. Your English skills grew incredibly fast, and we were able to have a great friendship. All of my other roommates I only knew superficially. With us we hung out a lot, and talked. It was so fun experiencing the Chinese New Year parade with you, even though it was so cold and snowy that day. (perks of having a foreign roommate.) Since I went with you and the other international student there, I was mistaken for being foreign, specifically Polish. Going to Six Flags and showing you Kenosha was a lot of fun. 

Faille: I don't actually remember how/when we met. Share with me if you remember. It was probably because we were in the same church together, and saw each other at an event or something. Being your roommate for OCM two years in a row was so much fun, I'm sad that they canceled this year so we can't keep the tradition going. I love that you are a thoughtful and artistic friend. If we're at an event together I can always rely on you as someone to talk to. I'm grateful for dinner dates with you, as well as movie theatre dates. We make each other laugh, and I consider you one of my closest friends in this season of my life. 

   Ani: We met through being on the School of Worship together. I think the first time I saw you, you were wearing black leather pants. You always looked so cool, it was a look I couldn't pull off, but fit you so well. You did not like dresses at all. You were probably the person I was closest to on the school, and I loved hanging out with you, and complaining about how bad we were at ear training, and keyboarding. You are such a caring,helpful person. When I was struggling with guitar, you stayed after school to teach me some things, and I got better. You taught me a lot while you were here in the US, and were full of encouragement. You had a painful life, but God kept you alive for a reason, and I'm so glad you trusted in him. I could not contain my excitement when you came for a weekend in October. 

  Manu: I was talking to Grace when I first met you. Grace was telling me how she was afraid of being away from her family after living with them her whole life. They only lived 25 minutes away. You laughed since you were a long ways away from Germany. You are such a great friend, and I loved sharing life with you. I could speak my mind to you, and you would just uplift and encourage me. A lot of people didn't seem to understand you, since you were loud and brought hard truths to people. But I loved that about you. I was so excited when we were assigned to be roommates for our Cadillac trip. You would just pray whenever you felt like it. Before bed, before breakfast, anywhere. You heard God so clearly and were obedient to him, and that inspired me. I guess we inspired each other. I loved your obnoxious sneeze, and miss your incredible laugh. I remember in Cadillac at Raylins when we danced around the fire chanting gibberish with sticks in our hands. We always did things that didn't make any sense but brought joy to people. I always feel so much better after spending time with you. I couldn't contain my excitement when you came for a few weeks in October.

Kaitlyn: One of the first few days of the School of Worship we had a random conversation about things, having only met once before. I didn't recognize you until you told me you were at a prayer meeting at the Pleasant Prairie Living Light. Even though we barely knew each other then you treated me with such kindness and as if we had been already been close friends. One of the first times we talked you said you looked at me and just knew you wanted to be my friend. I was insecure at the School of Worship being in a place with 20 strangers. We were assigned mentors at the school, and you were assigned to be mine. I was thrilled. You were there to help me with so many things. Saying scripture out loud, praying to God together. Everything. You are such a thoughtful person. We met together pretty much every week. I would tell you my struggles or share good things with you, and if it was a struggle we'd talk through it together. I would often cry things out, but that didn't matter to you. You show the love of Christ when you're around people, and I feel so loved by you, even if we haven't gotten the chance to hang out in awhile. I feel the love even when we're apart, knowing it will be so good when we actually do find a time to hang out. Besides my brothers marriage, your wedding is the one I'm most excited about. 

Macheala: I had always seen you at church events, but never thought much of it. After the OCM conference you asked me to hang out, and we just became close. I've only really known you a short time, but I'm so blessed to have you as a great friend now. It was totally unexpected a friendship like this would come into my life. I enjoy discussing God's word with you, and what he's been doing in our lives. You're really good at comforting people. I feel so cared for, and encouraged. I like that I can make you laugh. I'm looking forward to so much more memories ahead, and deep discussions. I will also enjoy seeing you at church each week. Unfortunately, Macheala  and I don't have a picture together, and she has deleted her Facebook for the time being so I dug this picture up. Machaela is the one on the right. 

Honorable mentions: Even if you are not listed in above in a paragraph I consider your friendship important in my life. These people include: Nicole Naden, Trae Beem, Milly Garvin, Jessica Ellenbecker, Caroline Squire, Kelsey Berg,Mike Reno, Megan Heinrich. and all the people on the School of Worship with me. 

2017 In Review

The highlights and proud achievements of 2017.
January
-I don't remember a lot of January just that it was stressful because we had our Midterms at the School of Worship, and had  a song due. Like composing and putting a band together to play/sing the song you had composed. Even though this seemed impossible, I got it done, I had a lot of people willing to help though.

February
- Visited Devil's Lake with some people from Living Light: Morgan, Manu, Phil, and Brian. I wasn't sure that this trip would be worth taking a 4 hour car ride within a day for, but I'm so glad I went. It was an amazing experience. It turned out to be unseasonably warm outside, in the 80's so we were literally wearing short sleeves. Within the distance snow was all around, and Devil's Lake was even frozen so we could walk across it. The only thing challenging about this trip, was the steepness of the hills (I was a weakling but had encouragement from the others), as well as the ice making things a bit more exciting/dangerous.

-The day before my actual birthday, my family took me to a Mexican restaurant where I got to try my first Margarita. This is the drink I was most excited to try. There's something about alcoholic slushies that seems so cool. This Margarita however was extremely alcoholic, and kind of made me afraid that all margaritas would be like this (they're not). I do really like them. This margarita made my heart start pounding when I stood up.

- Celebrated my birthday with a small group of friends at Applebees, on the night of my actual birthday. These friends included, Ani, Manu, Katie West, Sarah Englund, and Liza. Since it was my 21st birthday I was given a huge sangria for free. I don't think I ever would of tried one, if I hadn't been given one for free. It turns out however, it is my favorite drink so far.

March

-Had another birthday celebration, this time inviting all the students on the School of Worship with me, as well as a few friends from Parkside. The Wests (family from church) have an amazing gift of hospitality, so the party was hosted there. Lemonade, Orange Juice, Champagne, and Vodka were available for those old enough to mix drinks. It was probably one of the tamest  21st birthday parties as our church believes getting drunk is a bad thing. (A few drinks is okay.) I looked up possible themes for a party online, and became interested in the idea of a masquerade party, minus the fancy clothes, just masks. There was also a mask contest in which the winner won a mug with a unicorn on it. Morgan who made her own mask, won this contest. Phil who came without a mask placed a Kleenex on his face, then put his glasses over that, and Manu came in wearing a cheese head over her face. I was also made an amazing chocolate cake by Emily West, who works at a bakery!Also the house was decorated so beautifully, courtesy of the Wests.

-The School of Worship hosted a benefit concert to raise money for the school. The theme of the night was Love. Only alumni performed and the current students acted as ushers, as well as doing other various jobs. I remember folding programs and welcoming people inside. It was a great night, filled with a bunch of talented musicians. 

-Went to St. Louis with the School of Worship to tour a School of the Arts (Dayspring) that Teresa had used to work at. They are thinking of starting one in Kenosha eventually. Each of us were divided into groups for who would be roommates. We stayed in suites. My roommates were Kez, Raylin, Dorey, Morgan, and Bell. We spent only two days in St. Louis, wish we could of been there longer. We got to see a high school version of "The Wiz", as well as a production of "Annie". The last morning of St. Louis was spent at the St. Louis City Museum. By far one of the coolest places I have been. It's like a playground for kids. A fake airplane you can go into after climbing through a metal cage tunnel. Exploring a fake cave structure full of secret passages and sitting and spinning on a top as well as many other things, including a 10 story slide. Which I explored with Kez, Phil, Dorey and Morgan. 

April

-The students of the School of Worship put on the Songwriting showcase. Each person picked one song they had written throughout the year to have performed. At the school, writing two songs is required. Writing songs is hard, but having that accomplishment and seeing it performed for an audience makes it rewarding. 

May

-Traveled to Cadillac Michigan with the School of Worship. We have another Living Light up there that we were visiting. Even in May, Cadillac is still pretty cold, especially the church building. I got to stay with the sweetest older lady along with Manu (the best roommate) ;). Everyone in Cadillac is very hospitable and knows how to cook really well. Besides for spending time with the people there some of us looked for clams in the river, and fried them up afterward. Another day I got to drive a John Deere Gator through the woods, then on the way back I got to ride in a dune buggy. You needed to wear goggles due to dust, dirt, and pebbles flying through the air. Malitta and Phil drove one of the dune buggies into the mud, and were pretty much drenched in mud. I ended up with a dirt mustache. The church in Cadillac also has shopping carts within it for some reason, so of course we had shopping cart races. One person in the cart the other running, at the end of the path we would switch positions and run back. 

-We took class pictures. It wasn't too exciting of a moment, but there were some gems of pictures that I'd like to share. 

-The week after Finals was fun week. The first day we visited the directors house, and played games 

outside. The second day we played crazy games, our teams being our worship teams. We won both games. One was creating some sort of machine with each person in your team, We acted as a radio. One person being a plug, two acting as speakers, one acting as the person turning on the radio, and the volume and power buttons. We each took turns singing a song, increasing in volume. The last person sang with the volume all the way up and the speakers exploded. I was one of the speakers. The other one we needed a team name and theme, and write a song. My creative juices were flowing as someone came up with the theme of trash, and I thought of the idea to wear trash bags. We all wore them differently. What song did we sing? Trash, Trash Baby! Me and Kez doing backup vocals as Aric rapped. Our team was probably the team most emotionally invested in each other, which is why we were comfortable in doing such strange things. Although everyone on the school was a bit weird.  Wednesday we went to a mall in Illinois and did a task scavenger hunt, where we had to take pictures/videos doing certain thing, including a mascot of some sort in each picture.  My team put time into our tasks and were the most creative, but didn't complete enough tasks to win. Our mascot was a rake. I was paired up with Kez, Raylin, and Manu. While waiting for all the pictures to upload Bell, Morgan, Phil, Steph, and I went to Petrifying Springs park where there was mud everywhere. Morgan ended up slipping and getting a butt full of mud. I think I drove home without shoes that day, waiting for them to dry. Thursday we got prophesied over, and Friday we had graduation practice. 

'

-Graduation Day to celebrate a transforming year of life, and lifelong friendships. Looking back there isn't one person out of the 20 others I don't absolutely love. The graduation started with worship, then speeches with some original songs performed in between. 

-My parents bought a new puppy. Here's some pictures of baby Drake. 

June

- After searching and applying for multiple jobs ever since March, I finally got hired. The one that actually dealt with what I wanted to do in the future. (The best one). God's gracious. It seems like so much longer since I've worked there. But its only been half a year now. The kids I work with make so much progress in such little time, and have a lot to teach to you. Do to working 40+ hours a week, I barely went out and did fun things, unless it was on the weekends when I was off. I would also go searching for sea glass during my free time. Glass that has been rolled over by Lake Michigan's waves for years then shows up on shore, in many different colors. A new hobby for the warm months. Luckily there was a perfect place for collecting a 1 minute drive away from the Knapps. I put the sea glass into bottles and made necklaces for Christmas presents with the help of my dad and mom in November. 

-Participated in the CareNet walk at my church. CareNet is a company that supports women with unexpected pregnancies. Encouraging them to choose to keep the baby, and make a plan for what that means. It was very hot this day, and I got badly sunburned. 

-Moved into the Knapp house, so I could stay down in Racine while working. Definitely enjoyed my time there. Learning what it's like to live with 4 kids. I actually got hired at the job before I knew what I was going to do for housing. But God had my back and provided housing for me even if it was literally the last minute. 

July

-I was able to find time to experience Summerfest. I thought I was going to miss it again for a second year. Luckily there was a group from Living Light going. I would name them all but there were quite a few of us. Unfortunately I didn't take any pictures there. It pretty much downpoured the whole time we were there. When it was lightly raining we would walk a little farther, then headed under overhangs when it poured again. At one point we thought it would be a good idea to ride the Ferris Wheel in the pouring rain but never actually did this. I made a mistake of wearing a dress. The rain stopped at around 10pm. We were all so soaked. 10pm was when the concert started. We saw Ben Rector. At that time I didn't know who he was but really wanted to go to Summerfest. I remember enjoying the music. 

-Traveled to South Bend Indiana for the OCM conference. (One church ministries). All the Wisconsin and Michigan churches meet at one location. Since there are also Living Lights in Europe, some people come over from there as well. It's the best thing ever to put your all into worship with a huge group of people. If I did it everyday, I wouldn't be physically able to move anymore, and probably sleep for a long time. We also had amazing food at a Japanese restaurant and a Mexican one. Explored the board walk of art, and had a mini reunion with the School of Worship at a place called the Chocolate Cafe. One of the things South Bend is known for is their chocolate factory. However, it wasn't opened when Faille and I tried to visit. 

                                                                           

August

-Went to Hayward with my parents and Drake for a week camping. We rented a cabin near the lake up there. Took Drake on the boat with us the first time. Think he enjoyed it. Went fishing a couple times as well, but there wasn't as many fish as usual. Unfortunately taking off a week at my work means you have to make most of those hours up, so I was literally working almost 50 hours the week after. 

September

-Moved back to the Parkside campus to finish up my Psychology degree. Being back at Parkside was a hard transition from being on the school. 

October

-Went to Wisconsin Dells, staying at the Chula Vista for a conference on the Pro-Life movement. The conference taught all about how to run a Pro-Life club on college campuses. It inspired me to begin the process of starting a Pro-Life Club. I am almost there. Since last year the abortion has been an important issue within my church which now holds monthly Pro-Life prayer meetings/ It was nice to catch up with my friend Lizzy and sit in an outdoor hot tub, while looking at the stars. 

- Celebrated Carmen's wedding, which meant a reunion of most of the people from the School of Worship 2017. Dillon and Josh came back from Iowa. Raylin came from Michigan. Ani from Switzerland, Manu from Germany, and Kez and Dave from England. (Phil, Steph, Malitta and Dorey were greatly missed.) It was so great having everyone back together again, and enjoying each other's company whether that be at the wedding, going out for dinner, at a campfire, or at someone's house. It was so surreal seeing those from Europe again. 

-Went to a corn maze with a group of people from Living Light, and had an absolute blast. Many laughs were had that night. (I wrote a post about this already if you want more details.) 

- Celebrated Halloween with a group of young adults from Living Light. It also acted as a Welcome Home party for Malitta, as well as Carmen and her husband. I dressed up as a butterfly. 

November

-Not many things happened in November. Besides school, work, and celebrating Thanksgiving. Also saw my brother perform in a Shakespeare play in Milwaukee.

December

-Celebrated Christmas on Dec 1st at the women church house. Playing Christmasy games, making ornaments, and watching elf. 

-Had a Christmas movie watching party at Brian's house. We watched A Muppet's Christmas movie, and Jim Carey's "The Grinch". 

- Finals Week Happened. 

-Celebrated Christmas Eve with mom's side of family. 

-Will celebrate with dad's side on New Year's Eve then have a game night to bring in the new year with family friends. 

(I feel like I probably missed a lot, as I didn't have much documented about the year. I probably missed a lot of hangouts with the School of Worship since we met up almost every weekend, etc. Apologize in advance. :p) 

A Lovely Night

     Right now I am going through a hard season, as well as the hardest semester of college.  I won't go into it, as I don't think that will be very helpful, but if you are a fellow believer in Jesus, I ask you to pray for me. Pray for me to find inner peace,thinking too deeply, strength, and to trust in Jesus. I've noticed in this hard season, that I have been beating myself up a lot about how poorly I'm doing, and wondering why I'm not strong. This is a lie. I am strong. I am so strong, I am just going through a hard time. Everyone does. But it passes. However that is not what this blogpost will be about. In hard times it is good to think about happy memories. So I would like to share one of them with you. One I meant to write about months ago when it happened but never did. It won't be as detailed as it would of been, had I written it then,but will bring me joy as I type and reflect on this memory.

      This memory takes place on October 27th 2017. During this period of time, two of my friends from overseas were in town. One from England and one from Germany. As it was close to Halloween, we decided to go to a corn maze. A very large corn maze called Richardson Adventure Farm in Illinois.This corn maze contains 10 miles of trails. The cool thing about this corn maze, is that it is cut in an intricate pattern. This years pattern had to  do with "The Cubs, and the World Series.  I decided it'd be fun to experience. I'm so glad I decided to go, I could not stop laughing. Nights full of fun, where you can't stop laughing surrounded by great friends is the best. On this adventure were my friends: Morgan, Bell, Manuela, David, Dave, Aric, and Kelsey.
     
     We went to the corn maze at night, arriving at around 7:15. Even though it was night it was still easy to see. So we wouldn't lose each other on our journey we all carried different colored glow sticks. Each of us switching off, hiding among the corn and jumping out. Some parts of the maze were very muddy, and we'd slide around. Most of all we enjoyed each other's company, switching off who would make the others laugh and who would lead the group into getting more lost in the maze. After an hour and a half - two hours in the corn maze we decided we had, had enough. We were unable to find all the checkpoints. (I really didn't want to walk 10 miles anyway). There's something so cool about walking through rows of corn towering over your head. (As long as its on purpose, and not that you somehow got yourself lost in the corn maze by yourself.)

     Since it was an adventure farm, there were more activities to be done. A large slide down a hill, and a giant jumping pillow. The most fun thing about the experience being going on the jumping pillow. I wouldn't typically think of a giant jumping pillow as fun, especially for young adults, but I was wrong. I jumped and was filled with joy, and couldn't stop laughing. Being so thankful for such a night. You can't experience maximum fun on the jumping pillow until you play tag, or try to stay standing as others try to knock you over. Falling, getting up and going for it again. Until your heart was beating so fast from all the running around, and previous walk in the corn maze you feel like you may pass out. Moments like these make the hard times worth it. Knowing it will blow over, and there will be a ton of  experiences as sweet or sweeter than this one yet to come. Unfortunately no group photos were taken on this night.

The Feeling of Rejection (Letters to the Rejectors)

              Rejection. A feeling I have grown to know a lot. A feeling that is as painful each and every time you experience it. A feeling I am currently feeling today. An emotion that squeezes the tears from your eyes, as your heart feels heavy. A feeling you don't want to have, but demands to be felt. Pain demands to be felt, and today I am grieving the loss of a friendship that I had so many hopes for.
          So to get out some of the feelings, I thought I'd write a letter two the top three people, who I feel have rejected me most in life. I know that none of them will see this, and I will change their names in this post, to keep this blog private. No one needs to know the identity of these people anyway. I'll go in chronological order. From the first main rejection to today's to end this post off.

          Daisy,
      We became friends in 4th grade. We had our own little group of three of us. We did a ton together, and hung out at each others houses. Everything was going good until in 5th grade you started being mean to me. Your parents were getting a divorce, and you took it out on me. I finally had a lot of friends in school, but you must not have liked that. You began spreading rumors about me, until you had turned almost everyone against me. I came home everyday crying due to your cruelty. Towards the end of 5th grade you told me we couldn't be friends anymore, because you were "popular" now. "Popular" kids could not possibly be friends with non "popular" kids. You chose them over me. In middle school you pretended like you had never even met me before. Fast forward to high school where we both got voted on Prom Court together. Daisy, why wasn't I good enough for you, back then? Was I that embarrassing of a person, that you had to pretend not to know me? Do you realize how badly you made me feel? That you caused 5th grade to be my worst year of school?


    Now to move onto High school


              Laura,
         We had been good friends since middle school. A lot of people thought you were strange, but being different/strange didn't matter to me. I spent a lot of studyhalls listening you tell these horrendous stories. Even though these stories made me uncomfortable you needed someone to listen. So I did. I listened. Even though I didn't agree with some of the choices you made when living your life, I cared for you. I admired your intelligence. The way you worked hard and took difficult classes. One night our friendship came crashing down in a moment. I remember that same day I had seen you in the hallway, and I'm pretty sure you complimented me on my shirt. This friendship ended differently with cyberbullying. That night I was feeling overwhelmed, so I vented about it on Facebook. (I don't recommend doing this, but it was 5 years ago.) You commented back how I shouldn't be complaining because you had it way worse, and not to look for empathy. I told you that I wasn't saying that you didn't have it worse than I did, because I knew you had more stress in your life than I did. You then went on to make horrible, rude comments. I can't remember what you said, but it was absolutely disgusting to say to a human being. After this you pretended not to know me as well, and wouldn't even give me eye contact when we passed each other in the hallway. Everyday I would be sure to try and catch your eye, so you could see that I was still smiling. We graduated from high school, and I never heard from you again until two summers ago, when you had found my Instagram. You began commenting on all my pictures about how I had gained weight, and how I was so ugly. Your comments didn't affect me this time. Actually I kind of felt bad for you for the insecurity you must of been feeling to feel the need to comment those things. The funny thing is, when you had been commenting those things, I hadn't been using Instagram at all. Laura, did it help you to post all those mean things about me? Did it make you feel happier about yourself? Did it give you some kind of power? How come you never said any of these comments to my face?

    Last but not least, the most recent rejection. The rejection that happened today. This might be the longest one, as it has left the freshest cut on my heart.

           Bailey,
     I met you my 1st month of college. The moment I first met you, you were smiling so big. You had so much joy in you. We were in the same club at college so I would see you a lot. After seeing you a couple times, I determined that you were one of the people that would be a good friend to me. Was I wrong? After a few months into our friendship we became inseparable. We understood each other. Each others interests, our passions, pretty much everything. Talking late into the night. I don't know if our conversations were ever short. Through our friendship I became close with your family...you're lovely family. Doing everything best friends did, because that's what you were to me, a best friend. Do you remember that? It feels like you don't. While all these memories of us, are rolling around in my head. The laughter, the smiles, so many happy moments. If you remembered these things, wouldn't you want to rebuild the friendship we had. Lucky for you, you'll be a hard one to forget, as 100's of pictures of us are on my computer. Will I ever delete them? Will my heart still hang on to you, and hope things could be different? We were both immature two years ago, and that immaturity lead to a break in our friendship. I apologized to you, and forgave you for the hurt you had caused me. Then we hung out less. You stopped saying hi to me in the halls. I took a year off to do the school through my church. I came back with an unspeakable hope in my heart that maybe we could finally restore our friendship after almost 2 years of not talking. You didn't have that same joy in your heart, and told me you thought we should still not talk, and that broke my heart. I grieve the friendship we could of restored. How strong it would of been after it had gone through so much. You say you're a Christian as well, but are unwilling to even try to mend the broken pieces. Maybe its easier to leave those broken pieces in a pile on the ground, and pretend the friendship there never existed. That seems to be the common theme in all of these. Pretending the friendship never even existed. When I first brought up the hope of my heart to restore this friendship with my mom, she said "What is the worst that can happen?" Well, this is the worst thing that could of happened. I guess maybe you could of been more mean about it. So I guess when I see you in the hall, I'll pretend I don't know you. I'll push out all the memories from inside my head, and listen to "Best Day" by Taylor Swift.

      To end I want to thank God. God thank you that you are my friend, and you'll never leave me. That though some friends may leave, you'll establish relationships in my life that will be solid. Relationships where we'll fight for each other, and build each other up. I thank you for the friendships you have already placed in my life that are like that. Thank you for the strength that comes from these situations. Thank you for the amount of empathy these trials have given me to use in my future. To you three above, and all the others who haven't treated me right, I forgive you. I forgive you for hurting me, and I refuse to hold bitterness in my heart towards you.