Just Some Updates

            It's a little harder to know how everyone's been doing during this time. You get to have less real conversations without talking to people face on face. Like most people I've had time to reflect on things, and thought I'd post some updates on my life now, including one really exciting thing which I will talk about last.

           I work with kids with Autism and am currently meeting with them via Zoom 1-2 times weekly. It's gone way better than thought. I thought I wouldn't be able to meet with most of the kids, but I've been able to meet with almost all of them and they are showing amazing progress including a 2 and a half year old who is starting to read 5-letter-words even though he is mostly non-verbal. He shocks me every time I meet with him, and I truly think he will be a genius one day.

         Secondly, I got hired as an Instacart shopper. At the beginning of the lockdown, I basically didn't do much, and that made me feel useless so after the encouragement of people from my homegroup I decided to give it a shot. I've been really enjoying it, and do it pretty much most times when I'm free and there's an order at one of the stores closest to my home. I might be an odd person for enjoying this job so much, since it is buying people's groceries, but for me it's like this thrilling scavenger hunt, and I also love the fact I'm able to make a difference in people's lives during this time. I always make sure to wear a mask, and wash my hands frequently as to not pass along whatever I may have or vice versa. I've been able to help out 31 different families so far by doing this, and learned the layout of the stores pretty well :D

       Finally, and most excitingly my anxiety is the best it has ever been in a really long time since April, which is highly ironic. With much of the world in a very anxious state, I'm doing really well. It's so strange that it definitely feels like it's a miracle, especially since I'm at my parent's house since lockdown started. A place that gives me the most anxiety due to a lot of my past panic attacks being here. I can move around and not feel fear, and that feels so good. I can do things for myself. Anything. I can go places without fear, or fear I'm going to have a panic attack any minute. I finally feel like I'm in the present. As I type this out in the back of my mind I have doubt. Doubt that this could last forever, or that I could revert back to my old way of being/thinking any minute, and that really sucks. But I pray and I hope that God did a miracle, and maybe that way of thinking/being is a thing of the past. It's hard to know for sure, but right now I am enjoying it while it last. It feels good to be able to do things for myself again and way more without fear weighing me down.