2023 Goals

     Since the start of the year I've been reflecting on what I want to accomplish this year, or in the next couple of years. With a new year comes a lot of pressure to totally change your life, and make big goals which end up failing. My approach this year is to set more easily attainable goals, and work my way up to the bigger goals. So with that here is my list. 

• Drink more water. This is something I've struggled with all my life. From a young age I started drinking soda, and since then have never really stopped. I almost wish I didn't have that exposure to soda as a kid so sugar wouldn't be as much of a problem as I think it is in my life. With that I am usually super underhydrated. I think the scientific data says you should consume around 64oz a day (which I think is steep). I myself consume about 30oz or less in a day, and it usually comes from unhealthy drinks. 

• Keep my apartment more tidy. I have a studio apartment for it's easy for things to get cluttered. Especially since I'm the only one living here, so it's my sole responsibility to keep everything clean. Since I don't have a lot of guests I have less accountability to keep it clean. I also come home pretty tired from my 9-5 so things get put off, but I think if I do a little each day to keep my space clean it will help keep everything less messy. Also focusing on one task at a time. My brain tends to jump between multiple tasks when I'm cleaning so I start one and jump to another, then jump to another etc. 

• Spend less time on my phone. When I get home from work I want to do things that don't require a lot of mental capacity. My go to then is spending way too much time on my phone. It's gotten better, but it's definitely something I can improve a lot more on. A lot of the information consumed from social media and online is a waste of time, and breeds a lot of comparison. Instead of being on my phone I want to do things that are more productive. Ie: cooking, cleaning, reading Scripture, making something, listening to a teaching, reading a Christian book, etc. 

• Do Life Together With People. Being single, and living alone I do a lot on my own. I've gotten used to doing most things alone, but God has created us to be apart of a community for a reason, so I want to be more intentional about allowing people to come along and do life together with me. 

• Travel. With my current job we get very little time off. (We had 1 day off for Christmas, and 1 day off for the New Year's holiday.) To add to that I've been working full time, and haven't taken much of a break off since July. In August I took 2 days off for a church conference, in September I took 1 day off, in October and November I didn't take any days off, December I took 1 day off then we had off the 26th, and I took one day off due to illness. In January I took 1.5 days off. 1 due to sickness, and a half for a leadership conference, and we had off January 2nd. Basically if you do the math I haven't had a lot of time off, and my job can pretty draining in general. For this year I am currently planning on doing two trips. (Maybe only 1 will happen due to finances/other factors but I think its good to have a plan.) 

1. Trip 1: I am planning to do a girls trip at the end of March to somewhere coastal (probably southern California, or Florida) to take a break from the Wisconsin winter weather. I've been craving going back to the ocean since I last saw it in 2019. It all depends if I can get people to go along with me, etc. (4-5 days)
2. Trip 2: I want to finally go to Europe. The goal is around August. I have so many friends in Europe who I haven't seen in awhile and would love to visit. I have yet to leave the country, and have planned to go to Europe since 2018 now. I would probably stay in Germany and England, and visit Switzerland, possibly other countries as well. I would stay with said friends, to keep the cost lower.

• Promotion. It's pretty easy to move up in the company I am at currently. I was last promoted to the next level of my job in September. (If you're hired as an entry level you start at Level 1, and are able to move up every 6ish months.) There are 4 levels until you can be set into a supervisor role. I was hired as a Level 2, and moved up to Level 3 in September. I have been working with higher up staff to make my way into being set into a supervisor role. The goal is spring time. Not everyone is considered for a supervisor role, so I'll have to prove myself in order to get there, which shouldn't be much of an issue. 

• Upgrade to a larger apartment. I'm pretty content with where I live now, but eventually I think it would be nice to have a bigger space to be able to have more people over, and to possibly finally get a dog. :P Rent for a new apartment, and taking care of a dog wouldn't financially be a smart decision for me right now due to the high cost of everything but I do have a pretty strong savings. Thankfully an old friend from college reached out to me and has become my financial advisor so I'm able to better make the most out of my finances. 

• Spend more time with God. One of the biggest challenges for me is getting into Scripture daily. Especially recently. I finished reading all the way through the Bible chronologically and have had little desire to jump back into Scripture. My logic is that it would be too repetitive. However, Christians are called to "know" Scripture. By doing this we can better know what God wants for us, and fight against the evil things in the world. Without being in Scripture daily we can forget important things and be led astray by the world around us which is constantly fighting for our attention everywhere. What I have been currently doing is putting on worship music in the morning while getting ready, then praying in the car for my day on the way to work. I try to conversate with God throughout the day, and read a Christian book before bed. I usually attend church weekly, I serve on the communion and kids work team once a month, and go to a small group from church every week, as well as help out with the Christian organization on the Parkside campus during the college semesters. The more time you spend doing things for God, the less you can be persuaded by the culture, and the less time you do meaningless things. 

• Learn more recipes. I don't have a lot of energy to cook after work, but I want to be able to cook more things with bigger portion sizes that I can store in the freezer for later after I get sick of a certain food. The current list of go-to recipes has been getting repetitive so it'll be good to discover more meal ideas, and also encourage me to eat healthier. I tend to end up buying too many meals from fast food places. 

   This is my list for now, but I will add to it as I think of ideas. I think having this list typed out will help me keep myself more accountable in reaching these goals going forward. Thanks for taking the time to read if you did. 

      "Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of your time, because the days are evil." Ephesians 5:15-16 

2022 Reflection Post

 Brought in 2022 playing board games and with lots of laughter. The rest of January I dealt with a lot of healing from some traumatic things I dealt with in my last job (Hillcrest). (I thought being out of that job I would feel better right away but I had some healing to do.)

February I started a new job at Caravel which has been a huge blessing. I saw my brother as a lead actor in a play, and then the next weekend went to Milwaukee to see my sister-in-law perform in a different play. I celebrated my golden birthday and turned 26.

In March I attended a virtual meet n greet to meet the members of Phantom Planet, and the lead singer remembered me from when I went to Los Angeles to see Ryan Ross. 

In April I celebrated Easter and saw Xeno in concert with my family, and I got new glasses. 

In May I saw a play that my sister-in-law had directed in Kenosha. I attended the 50s theme songwriting showcase put on by the School of Worship. I got cast in my first play Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors. (Although it was later canceled I now feel confident I can actually memorize lines and perform in a play in the future.) I went up North with my parents for the first time in 10 years. 

In June I went to the School of Worship graduation. Attended Kaitlyn's baby shower. Gave my testimony at homegroup. Mom and Dad visited Kenosha for Father's Day, and new elders were set into my church. I went to Sarah and Daniel's wedding, and met Sarah Shanahan for the first time. 

In July I went to Summerfest with Mary and Megan and their cousin Becca. We had Collectivo Coffee for lunch and saw King and Country. Went to Hayward for vacation with my parents, and did some fishing. We had a cottage near Nelson Lake. We also visited relatives who lived in Northern WI. 

In August I got a hair relaxer put in my hair to get rid of the hair frizz and tame my curls a little.  I attended Green Lake with my church family. I helped paint the Racine building where the new location of the School of Worship would move to. I went to Madison by myself to see iDKHOW in concert. 

In September I went on a family trip back to Hayward to celebrate my great uncle and aunts surprise 50th wedding anniversary. A lot of relatives all went up to Hayward and stayed at the same campground to be able to hang out with each other. We took our dog Drake for his first public camping trip. In September I also switched homegroups in order to help out my friends Trae and Machaela with Cru (a Christian club) at the UW Parkside campus.  This included 6 weeks of 1 day of fasting and prayer that continued into October to pray for campus. In September I also saw MCR live in concert with my friend Faille and went to the Chicago Botanical Gardens. I got to see Faille and Brian's new house in Racine and have a movie night there. I also got promoted at my job. 

In October I went to a baby shower for my friend Machaela for her 2nd baby. I did a little fall photoshoot with my friend Liz. I met Veronica through Cru and started taking her to church. I had a movie night at my house and met my friend Lizzie Milwaukee to have dinner at The Birch. 

In November Phil came to visit from Germany and we had dinner in Chicago together to catch up. I saw the movie Spirited with Mary and Megan. I celebrated Friendsgiving and Thanksgiving. 

In December there was a Cru Christmas party at Trae and Machaela's. My church put on a Christmas program called Tidings.  Celebrated Sarah's birthday at Red Robin. Celebrated Christmas with my old homegroup on the 20th. Went to a movie night at Sarah's. Celebrated Christmas with both sides of my family, and today I got manicure and will celebrate welcoming in the new year at my friend Morgan's house at a formal NYE party. 

 

I spent a lot of Friday nights playing volleyball with the Young Adult's from my church. Spent a lot of hours working at Caravel with kids 2-6 years old with Autism, and attended church most Sundays being involved with Kid's Work and Communion. 

God Used a Will Ferrel Movie to Speak to Me

    I went to the movie theatre last night and saw the movie "Spirited". "Spirited" is kind of like a modern version of "A Christmas Carol". Going in I didn't expect much from the movie. It's a Christmas movie, and Christmas movies are usually okay or not good except for a select few. The Christmas Carol has also been redone so many times, but I was actually impressed by this movie. 

   This movie is about the ghost of Christmas past, present, and future working on redeeming people like what happened with Scrooge. He was a mean, horrible man stuck in his ways, but he was able to changed. In the movie he is described as one who seemed unredeemable.  The movie follows another guy who is considered "unredeemable" in the modern world. Spoiler Alert: the man becomes redeemed, and there's a big celebration. In it also one of the characters questions if he actually was redeemed, due to all the things he had done. 

  The message I got from it, is not the message Hollywood intended. God used this movie as a depiction of the gospel to me. Before we come to God we are unredeemed, but through God's choosing of our lives, and the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross we are redeemed. The devil might come in and try to convince us we actually aren't redeemed, but the truth is that we are and that's a lie. No matter what we have done in the past 

   God spoke this so clearly to me, and today at church other prophetic words came about the gospel and being redeemed through the cross. It's encouraging to know God spoke the same message he was speaking to me to other people as a way of letting me know I was actually hearing him. It's so amazing to know that God can speak to people today, and use all different means of doing so in order to accomplish this. 

My Favorite Products

   These are my favorite products in no particular order :) 

  1) My Doc Martens. I have always loved combat boots, and these were no exception. Instead of spending over $100 which is what this brand usually costs, I found them secondhand on Ebay for $60. 

                              

2) My Obnoxious Bright Orange Nike Shoes. At my church a group of young adults play volleyball of Friday nights. I decided I wanted better tennis shoes to be able to play weekly. I didn't want normal looking ones, I wanted bright ones, and I found a pair on Poshmark. Poshmark is one of my favorite places to shop. There are so many different things you can buy for way cheaper than normal stores. It is like a big online thrift store. I scored these shoes for $40 when a lot of Nike shoes cost $100+, and even though they were used they appeared brand new! I get complimented on how I'm able to keep them so new looking. The only downside to Poshmark is the high shipping. It costs $8 shipping no matter what you buy, however sellers on the website are able to discount the shipping price, and if you sell on Poshmark you can also earn money towards buying products on the website.  

                              

3) Fresh Balsam Wallflower Scent. I use the scent wall plug ins from Bath in Body Works in my bathroom, and stocked up on my favorite scent, Fresh Balsam, which smells like a Christmas tree. The scent notes are balsam, eucalyptus, fir branches, and cedarwood. I have a big love for Bath and Body Works so I also like their foaming hand soaps, scent portals for the car, and aromatherapy shower gels. My favorite shower gel was "Hot Springs Spa" which is no longer available, but had the scent notes of Eucalyptus, lemon, and cedarwood. The problem with Bath and Body Works scents is that they put out new scents and only have them available for a certain amount of time, and then don't produce the scent anymore unless it's one of the few scents that doesn't get retired. Luckily Fresh Balsam is always around during Christmas. One of my favorite scents of all time is Pink Chiffon which my best friend in high school gifted me. The scent gives me memories of her. The scent notes include red pear, jasmine, tiare, orchid, and chiffon musk. Bath and Body Works has a lot of decorative scent holders for their wallflowers, and I got one that has a black lab with a winter scarf. 

4) Curology. Curology has been a big life saver for me. My acne breakouts used to get bad, and up until three years ago I was unsure what to do. I had tried a lot of different products in order to get it under control but nothing seemed to work. I tried Proactiv, and another skin care kit that I bought at Ulta. I tried different face scrubs and essential oil, but nothing. One of my friends suggested Curology, and I gave it a try with low hopes it would work but it did! I went from having a lot of acne to clear skin, and it didn't even take very long. I just put it on once a day when I remember too, and it keeps acne away and makes my face feel soft. A small bottle costs $40, but if you only use it once a day it lasts for about 2 months if not more. You take a short quiz so they know the type of acne you have, and make a special formula for it. They also set you up with a skincare specialist to check in on your progress and make sure your formula is working. 

5) Cardigan purchased at Summerfest. I love the color of this cardigan/kimono and it's intricate colorful designs. Here is a picture of the back and me wearing it. Purchased for $35 at one of those handmade clothing vendors. 

6) Jacket with Patches. I bought a green army jacket at a thrift store and decided to decorate it with patches of bands I like, and various pins. The patches I got from different places, and most of the pins were bought on Wish.com. Wish has cheap quality items so I got them for cheap, however due to the cheap quality some of them have fallen off. It's a cool customizable peace that I love adding too. 

 

 7) Black High-Rise Distressed Jeans. You can already see them in the picture above. This was another product I got on Poshmark for $20. 

8) Hanging Star Lights. I found these on Amazon and my mom got them for me for Christmas. They look awesome hanging up on my wall as seen in the picture. I like to have them on when I sleep some nights. It was hard at first to figure out how to untangle them correctly when we first got them out of the box, but we eventually did. Also love the mountain tapestry that I also purchased on Poshmark. 

9) Mini Instruments. Mini version of things are always adorable, and I was able to find mini versions of a guitar, piano, and well I guess the microphone is life sized. A friend purchased the mini guitar for me from Rock USA. The piano I found at a secondhand book store, and the microphone was a gift. It doubles as a perfume branded by "The Voice". 

10) Shooting Star Earrings. These were apart of a Buy 1, get 1 deal, so I bought a pair for one of my friends who also loves earrings. The fact that they dangle from your ears and look like falling stars is so pretty. I think they were also handmade. (Bought on Poshmark). 

11) Stila Rouge Lip Stain. I wear this lip color a lot, and find it goes well with my other makeup, and is just a nice color in general. However the tube is not labeled with the shade of color that it is. :( They're listed for $22 each on the Ulta website, but this one specifically I bought was around $7. 

12) I'm a big fan of hats so here are my favorites. From Amazon, Poshmark, and the March for Life. Pom hats for the win. 

13) This sweater is a current favorite. My mom bought it for me for Christmas last year from TJ Maxx. The clothing brand is Marled Reunited Clothing. The puffed shoulders are a little extra, but I get complimented a lot when I wear it. 

The list stops at 13 for now, but I put more products in this blog then just 13. I will probably add more products as I come across them. :) For the products above I would say it's best to look around for the best price. A lot of products can be found for cheaper elsewhere, like a secondhand website like Poshmark or even Ebay. 

Buy the products yourself at the links below. 

Hanging Star Lights 

https://www.amazon.com/BHCLIGHT-Curtain-Bedroom-Christmas-Decorations/dp/B07PPKRS1K/ref=sr_1_6?crid=F202R821L9EF&keywords=hanging%2Bstar%2Blights&qid=1668402200&sprefix=hanging%2Bstar%2B%2Caps%2C213&sr=8-6&th=1

Curology

https://curology.co/free-trial/1i0g/?&utm_source=google&utm_medium=paid_search&utm_campaign=10560192698&utm_content=104467682876&utm_creative=448723805247&utm_termcurology&g_network=g&g_adid=448723805247&g_keyword=curology&g_acctid=812-096-3445&g_adtype=search&g_adgroupid=104467682876&g_keywordid=aud-1185174288943:kwd-302540251580&g_campaign=Google_Search_Brand+-+Exact&g_campaignid=10560192698&utm_source=google&utm_medium=search&utm_campaign=10560192698&utm_creative=448723805247&utm_content=104467682876&utm_term=curology&gclid=Cj0KCQiAyMKbBhD1ARIsANs7rEFQVMEJ1XPRnR5isbJ4qeuc2KLkuKDEJU-lIlmDKzhuKBi3qo8PjFYaAjxUEALw_wcB

Chicago Botanical Gardens and MCR

     Those days that are just so filled with fun and adventure.....that is how Friday was, plus the best weather you could ask for, for being outdoors all day. 

   On Friday I took the day off work in order to see one of my favorite bands play in Chicago, My Chemical Romance. The closest they would be playing for the US tour was Chicago at a music festival. I bought two passes before I even knew who I'd go with, and finally the day arrived. They wouldn't be playing until 8:30 that night, and I had taken the day off work so I needed another idea to fill the time. I ended up going with my friend, Faille, and she suggested the Chicago Botanical Gardens. 

   I didn't really know what to expect, but when looking up the website of all the themed gardens days before I agreed. You can spend all day there, and not even see half of the the gardens. There are photo opportunities everywhere. It's kind of overwhelming to know where to take a picture or what to take a picture of. Everything is just so eye-catching. Looking it up there are 27 themed gardens on 385 acres. The gardens Faille and I visited were: The Bulb Garden, English Walled Garden, Japanese Garden, English Walled Garden, Native Plant Garden, Rose Garden, Aquatic Garden, and Cove. We also looked at a collection of Bonsai trees. Each garden was intricately designed. The Japanese garden went into depth on the histories and meanings of different plants in the garden. Of the ones we visited, my favorite was the English Walled Garden and the Japanese Garden. While visiting the cove which looks out onto the Shokie River I saw a grasshopper walking on the railing. The grasshopper stopped to look at me. Then moved to face me and inched closer. I thought "What if this thing jumps at me?" so I backed up a little, but still looked at it, and a few seconds later he jumped at me. Even though I had that thought I didn't think it actually would, and I ended up giving a little yelp. Faille asked what had happened and I explained to her, but didn't know where the grasshopper had gone. When I lifted up my purse that's where it was. The purse I was carrying was colorful, so I think that's what attracted the grasshopper to it. The outfit I chose wasn't the best for all the walking we did that day, but sometimes beauty is pain. :P 

 

   After the Gardens we made the trek to Douglas Park. We decided to drive down so we could have more mobility, not have to worry about train/subway schedules/ubers etc. The only problem was, the traffic. Chicago traffic hadn't crossed my mind, but it didn't end up being to bad anyway. We were able to find a parking spot decently close to the park in a well lit area near the Chicago Police Department and ventured toward the park at around 5pm. Douglas Park is a HUGE park, which is probably why they had a music festival of 100,000 people there. 

    I didn't know what to expect with Riot Fest. I had kind of hoped they'd play a stadium instead of at a festival. I like Summerfest as a music festival, but Summerfest is different because it's at an actual festival park, where this one was at a park, park. This festival was also different because you didn't buy tickets specifically for the band you were seeing. The passes were for general admission for the whole day. Since it was an all day pass I thought we would see a band before My Chemical Romance started playing. Things didn't go to plan, however. We walked around the grounds a little, finding the stage that MCR would play in a few hours then went to look for food. After walking around we were only able to find one food area nearby. There were plenty of alcohol and merch tents everywhere, but not a lot of food vendors from what we found. I am hoping there were more elsewhere in the park. The website made it seem like there would be way more. Because there were so few vendors the lines were long. Which is another difference between Summerfest and Riot Fest. Summerfest has food vendors everywhere so you never have to wait too long in line. We chose the Corn Dog and Nachos line and ended up waiting 45+ minutes, no exaggeration. I hadn't eaten since that morning, and we needed water as well. Luckily there were a lot of people in interesting outfits to watch while we waited, and it killed some of the time we'd be waiting for the band anyway. Being in line made kind of regret buying the passes for the festival. Finally we got our food, and made our way towards the stage. 

      Alkaline Trio was playing at the neighboring stage where MCR would be playing. We watched them as we made our way closer to MCR's stage. (Another strange thing was the fact that two stages were very close to each other, and both had sound tents that blocked part of the audience from seeing the stage since they were in the towards the front.) It was after 7pm at this point. We came to a stop, not thinking we could get any closer. Apparently there was plenty of room, according to the 500+ that squished by us in 45 minutes. (This ended up being a problem though, since MCR was headlining and was the only band playing from 8:30-10:00 almost all of the 100,000 people in attendance were there for MCR.) 15 minutes before the show started we were able to get a tiny bit closer than we had been, still in the back though. We could see the megatron and if you looked at the stage you could see them a tiny bit. They looked like ants. MCR came out, and suddenly the regrets of being there faded. It was an incredible show even though it was oversold and a few people passed out. The band would remind the audience to back up after most songs, due to the overcrowding, and not wanting people to get hurt. During the middle of the set, one of the audience members near us began having a seizure. The audience members around them tried to get the band's attention to stop the show in order for the person to get medical attention, but they didn't notice and kept going. It was a little hard to enjoy the concert when there was someone in a life threatening situation nearby, but they were finally able to get help after 3 songs. I was actually glad we weren't closer due to the possibility of getting physically injured due to the mass amounts of people. Yes, it would have been nice to actually see them instead of mostly on the big screen, but wasn't worth the physical harm. For this tour every MCR concert has a different setlist. Each setlist features multiple songs from their entire discography, and each night the lead singer usually wears an outfit/costume, and says something different at each concert. A lot of bands perform mostly their newest songs, wear the same outfit or a few different outfits throughout tour, and have certain scripted lines that they say at every show. The setlist they did play for Chicago was amazing. 

   MCR hasn't played together in 10+ years, and had even officially broken up back in 2012. However, they announced they would be doing a reunion show at the end of 2019, and were going to do a reunion tour in 2020. I had just gotten into their music towards the beginning of 2019. We all know how 2020 went, and their tour got rescheduled to 2022. The lead singer had been saying that the band had broken up because it was no longer fun to perform anymore. Back when they were performing he was in a dark place. He had to be drunk in order to perform well on stage, and there was so much stress in sounding perfect. However this tour was different. Everyone in the band is now sober, and just enjoying being around each other. There's a lot of joy, and they're the happiest and most comfortable they've ever been on stage and you can tell by the way they look on stage. This was supposed to be a reunion tour, but is no longer seen as that, because they don't want this to be the last tour they ever do. They really enjoy what they're doing again, and it makes my heart so happy to know that they're in such a good place. Being a fan of there's after the break up, I didn't think I'd get to ever see them, but now I have, and maybe will again in the future too. 

Encouragement & Self-Doubt

   I've come a long way, but I still have self-doubt ad I'm sure we all do. I felt a bit of self-doubt come on last week. Thankfully, I was able to combat it quickly, but it brought some important things to mind. 

    The situation: I met up with people my age over the weekend at one of their houses. When I got there no one seemed too excited I was there. (Totally my perception and not about any of their characters, they're wonderful people.) I ended up leaving early since they hung out past midnight and I knew I had to be up early the next morning. When I left it also didn't seem like anyone cared too much. On the car ride home I felt a little down. I thought about how I wasn't really a person most people got excited about seeing. How I felt misunderstood, and more like I was in the background, undervalued, etc. 

  I then thought of the people who I knew did value me, and how I knew I did. The love they showed, the big hugs they gave, the encouragement they had given, and I felt better.  Our church's message of the week ended up being on encouragement, and during young adults group at my church I felt comforted. My identity as a child of God had been restored. 

  That's not the end of the story. At homegroup (groups of people from church your put into) we discussed encouragement and it's importance. How the people with a gift for encouragement appear. Two of the people who stuck out to me were two people that I always felt valued by, and have a gift for making everyone seem like the most valuable. When you walk in a room, and you're friends with one of these girls, chances are they will excitedly say your name. They make me feel seen. I don't need any reminders to know my life is valuable but it's good to feel valued at times. At homegroup this lead to the discussion on the importance of welcoming people. At my church we have people who volunteer as welcomers, and welcome all the people who enter the church whether they are a member or are new. When someone new comes to our church, they don't feel lost in the crowd and like no one notices them. They feel seen, and that's one of the things I love about my particular church. People actually want to know you, like really know you not just surface level. Telling someone that you're glad that they're there. Complimenting them on something they do well. Letting someone know they are loved,  etc. 

   Another thing I thought of is how often encouragement is thought and not told. There's a good chance when I was hanging out at the house that there were people that did value me, actually I'm sure of it. Maybe in their heads when I walked in they thought "Oh I'm so happy Alex is here, she is so kind." I know a lot of times when I see someone I know and care for, I only occasionally encourage them and tell them. I'm more introverted, so when someone comes in the room or leaves I might give a simple "hi" or "bye" when inside I'm so glad that they are there or sad they're leaving. They might not know, and drive home feeling down like I did. Simple encouragements mean so much. 

  All this to say that the only overall opinion that matters is what God thinks of you. But it really is nice to be reminded of your value as a child of God. We must remain humble when receiving compliments,  and know it's not by ourselves that we are the way that we are but because of God. 

A Huge Victory

  At the job I work at I visit kid's homes that are aged 2-4 or work with them at a clinic designed specifically for kids with Autism. One of my client's and his brother were going to start going to the clinic for therapy twice a week, and started on Friday. I work with both of the brothers and the younger one is really chill, and a pretty happy kid so our team didn't foresee any challenges with him transitioning into the clinic. However this wasn't so for the older brother, who I was assigned to for his very first day at the clinic. 

   On my way to the clinic I prayed that he'd be able to easily transition into being at the clinic, even though it seemed by knowing him he would have a really rough time with it. God came through as he always faithfully does, and all the staff were shocked at how much he crushed his first day at the clinic. Tasks that were hard for him at home didn't seem to be at the clinic. I was so proud of him. 

    I got him out of his carseat and he calmly walked into the clinic into the lobby to get checked in. (He's very attached to mom, so we thought he would fight back or cry). The only thing that kind of freaked him out was the head thermometer we're required to do for Covid. I think he thought it was going to hurt. After realizing this I explained the process and he was surprised it was a 2 second process. We went into the room assigned to him and he played with the toys in there. I let him play with the toys in his room before asking him if he would want to explore the other rooms. (The more public rooms that would have other clients playing in there). He was hesitant at first which I figured he would be but after a couple minutes he told me he was ready to go out. He absolutely loved all the toys in the different rooms. Toys he had never seen before in his young life. He wanted to try everything. We didn't know how he would be around peers since he had really only ever been around his brother mostly. But he did amazingly well. (He has a hard time sharing things, especially with his brother, but he did so well here.) He actually wanted to be around the other kids towards the end of my session with him. When another kid had a toy he wanted he patiently waited for them to be done (which was unheard of). It made me so happy. He also usually fights being changed (diapers). When I told him I needed to change his diaper, he whined but walked into his room to be changed without any other resistance and let me change him without a fuss. He usually has a pacifier for comfort while being changed but told me he didnt need it when I tried handing it to him. I just felt so much happiness the rest of the day. This was so HUGE for him, and we didn't know how well he would do but he did at least 10x better than any of us could imagine he would. I truly think he will thrive here.

   I love all the kids I work with even when they fight me or throw tantrums etc. My job is to help them communicate effectively so they no longer have to show negative behaviors to get what they need/want. I know everyday won't be like today was, even when he's in the clinic but I know that "today" was a HUGE victory and that's all that matters.