1) There's a lot I can change in and grow in, to become the best version of myself
2) I have struggles with pride. Either comparing myself to people as less then them or better than them, but the truth is God gives us each gifts. Without these gifts we wouldn't do anything. So we're all equally as important.
3) Time Management is important, especially when you are in a music school, and you keep having to build on more and more layers of things. You have to learn the basics to be able to do the more complicated things etc. It also keeps your room from getting too messy.
4) It's not fake to know some people deeper than others. This is a struggle for me especially on the school, I want to get to know everyone and build deeply with all of them, but realistically I can't do that without being burnt out, and that's okay. We need to pour out and be poured into by a select few.
5) Being rooted in the truth is important. I didn't think it would be but it actually is. Having a mindset that can switch into biblical truths, helps from anxiety slipping in, fear, sadness, etc.
6) Being a Christian doesn't mean you will have an easier life. It actually usually means the opposite. We can depend on God's strength, but we are also usually put through more trials/obstacles, because Satan doesn't like that we are following God.
7) Learning an instrument takes a lot of practice, repetition. It's simple, but sometimes I like to think there's an easier more exciting way. But the good news is the better that you get at an instrument, the more you like to play it, which doesn't happen if you're too lazy to practice. (Time Management Skills kick in).
8) Trials and godly disciplines are actually mostly good things. They may be hard and hurt in the process but they make us more like God.
9) We like to cling to old mindsets we used to have, and still have them because we don't think they can change and think they are apart of who we are, but that's actually not true, and if we work hard enough we can actually change them.
10) If you go into something with a negative mindset it will take up your thinking and you actually will not be able to learn or do what you were frustrated about doing at least not as well. (For instance at the beginning of the year with me not being musically minded from the start, my mind would want to kick into there's no way I can learn this, but you can actually learn anything you want. You just might have to work harder on some things or get help, but that's okay. It doesn't mean you are any less of a person.)
11) You are meant to love everyone. It's immature to form friendships with just the people you share a similar personality with, or like the same activities. The most rewarding friendships are actually those that challenge us in different things.
12) It's actually a good thing for people to point out the flaws in us as a friend. This points out the blindspots in us that we don't see so we can fix them,
13) Copying positive character traits we like about someone is actually a good thing to. We need tole models for a reason.
14) Even if your strong in your faith, people who are not can be toxic to you. Sometimes we think we are helping someone, but were actually not, and they're hurting us instead.
15) Going to sleep early and waking up early is a helpful thing
16) Most of the time taking naps after class, isn't helpful, it just makes you not want to do homework or much of anything.
17) If I turn off my alarm and fall back to sleep, I usually don't wake up in time. (A tip for waking up on time is making sure you're phone isn't right next to you when you fall asleep, that way you have to physically get up and turn it off.)
18) If I don't want to do bible reading, I usually can't focus right on what I'm reading so actually reading it out loud helps me focus on the words, and it actually becomes less of a task.
19) Share deep feelings and get advice from women of the church, if your a man (the opposite). Sharing deep things with the person of the other gender is actually destructive unless you are engaged, married, dating etc. One on One situations are also harmful.
20) Being single isn't a bad thing. It doesn't mean you are ugly and that guys don't like you. It means you can focus on God and keep him at the center of your attention without distraction until the one that God has chosen to be your husband comes into the picture. Patience is key. This man should lead you to focus on God and not on him.
21) Liking someone makes it harder to focus on keeping God as the center of your life, and puts the person on a pedestal. Putting anyone besides God on a pedestal is really unhealthy.
22) God has different roles for us in different seasons
23) It's okay to be emotional
24) 5 deep relationships are more important then 13 shallow ones
25) You need to go to God first with your problems. It's so easy just to reach out to someone and tell your problems to them, but God is actually the most helpful to bring our problems too. Talking with God helps me sort out my emotions and feel better about situations, see them more clearly.
26) Rest is good, but don't use it as an excuse to be lazy.
27) God is good all the time, and we should never ask him why something happened, because he will use it for good.
28) I have the capacity to handle a busy schedule. I'm not used to busy schedules, but am doing pretty well.
29) Some things that don't seem like a big thing to most people, are seen as big things to God.
30) If you do something wrong, don't condemn yourself. Just try to do better next time. Gods salvation is not based on how well we do in life.
Saturday, December 17, 2016
Sunday, October 30, 2016
Let's Talk About Death
I should be sleeping, but why not instead talk about death. I feel like I have so much to say about a variety of different topics, so I was tempted to do a Facebook Livestream, but I guess you need the Facebook App, also I think I am better at writing to convey something then speaking. There's actually a purpose as to why I chose today to write this: 1) It's Halloween tomorrow, and a lot of people portray death as scary. 2) A year ago today Canaan Papa died (a 3 year old with special needs who is being celebrated/remembered today on the anniversary of her death) and 3) I was called tonight to find out my great aunt had died unexpectedly.
I was walking through a Piggly Wiggly in Racine, when I got the phone call. I didn't hear it, but I heard something strange playing on the intercom. A worship song called "Good Good Father." I had to double take to make sure my ears were working correctly and sure enough. "Good Good Father" is a song about God's love for us, his perfection, and the peace he brings us. When I got back from shopping I called my mom back to find out the news of my aunts passing. She was a very healthy woman in her 90's. As my mom was talking a thought popped in my head, no one actually wants to live until 90 when they can hang out with Jesus. This recognition, gave me a sense of peace.
When I was younger up until I knew what it truly meant to be born-again and purgatory didn't actually exist (;P). Death was my biggest fear. The thought terrified me. After one of my relatives would die, my mind would spiral into existential crisis mode. Was God actually real? or did they just disappear into a void of nothingness. Another thing that scared me as a child ( I had weird fears, a lot of children didn't have, I was a deep thinker apparently) was the concept of eternity after death. The fact that eternity is (reaaally lonnnngggg) It never ends. Conflicting fears: Living forever in eternity or going into a void of nothingness.
To calm us down when death appears the typical phrase is said: "There in a better place" I actually never really pondered this statement, because it's really hard for humans to have a sense of how wonderful heaven really is while being on Earth and not being able to see or experience it. Someone says that statement but our human emotions make us a little doubtful as we really can't comprehend this. Satan surely doesn't, that's why he's sown lies and negativity into death. Death is actually a reunion between God and his chosen servant, a kind of a welcome home party in heaven. I'm not saying funerals should be a celebratory party full of joy, our separation from loved ones doesn't allow us to feel joyful in these moments. Separation from a loved one is kind of an imagery for separation from God and how horrible that would feel. We're meant to grieve in these moments. A few weeks ago Canaan's dad was talking about the process of grieving and one thing he said that really stuck out to me was this "Time doesn't heal, it just makes us forget." Even though a bit depressing of a statement, it was comforting to me. People tell us time heals, but they're actually wrong.
As I said before we can't even begin to comprehend how heaven is or how great God actually is. There's limits on our understanding here on Earth unfortunately. But when I think about heaven I like to think about those moments that when you're in the middle of them you think "I wish this day would never end." That's what heaven will be like but exponentially more great and all the time. An eternity of having the best day ever, doesn't seem so bad! :) To try to perceive God, I think about my best friend how you feel like you'd be content if they were always there, how you always want to be with them. Take that person multiply them exponentially and that's how it will be when we're with God. An eternity of the best day evers with the best person ever. It makes everything a whole lot less scary.
To end we might wonder why someone might have died so early in life, or brutally if that's the case, but the truth is we shouldn't question God. We can be disappointed, and not understand. But everything God does is good and perfect and has a purpose. We can't comprehend it, because God's thinking is so much higher than ours.
I was walking through a Piggly Wiggly in Racine, when I got the phone call. I didn't hear it, but I heard something strange playing on the intercom. A worship song called "Good Good Father." I had to double take to make sure my ears were working correctly and sure enough. "Good Good Father" is a song about God's love for us, his perfection, and the peace he brings us. When I got back from shopping I called my mom back to find out the news of my aunts passing. She was a very healthy woman in her 90's. As my mom was talking a thought popped in my head, no one actually wants to live until 90 when they can hang out with Jesus. This recognition, gave me a sense of peace.
When I was younger up until I knew what it truly meant to be born-again and purgatory didn't actually exist (;P). Death was my biggest fear. The thought terrified me. After one of my relatives would die, my mind would spiral into existential crisis mode. Was God actually real? or did they just disappear into a void of nothingness. Another thing that scared me as a child ( I had weird fears, a lot of children didn't have, I was a deep thinker apparently) was the concept of eternity after death. The fact that eternity is (reaaally lonnnngggg) It never ends. Conflicting fears: Living forever in eternity or going into a void of nothingness.
To calm us down when death appears the typical phrase is said: "There in a better place" I actually never really pondered this statement, because it's really hard for humans to have a sense of how wonderful heaven really is while being on Earth and not being able to see or experience it. Someone says that statement but our human emotions make us a little doubtful as we really can't comprehend this. Satan surely doesn't, that's why he's sown lies and negativity into death. Death is actually a reunion between God and his chosen servant, a kind of a welcome home party in heaven. I'm not saying funerals should be a celebratory party full of joy, our separation from loved ones doesn't allow us to feel joyful in these moments. Separation from a loved one is kind of an imagery for separation from God and how horrible that would feel. We're meant to grieve in these moments. A few weeks ago Canaan's dad was talking about the process of grieving and one thing he said that really stuck out to me was this "Time doesn't heal, it just makes us forget." Even though a bit depressing of a statement, it was comforting to me. People tell us time heals, but they're actually wrong.
As I said before we can't even begin to comprehend how heaven is or how great God actually is. There's limits on our understanding here on Earth unfortunately. But when I think about heaven I like to think about those moments that when you're in the middle of them you think "I wish this day would never end." That's what heaven will be like but exponentially more great and all the time. An eternity of having the best day ever, doesn't seem so bad! :) To try to perceive God, I think about my best friend how you feel like you'd be content if they were always there, how you always want to be with them. Take that person multiply them exponentially and that's how it will be when we're with God. An eternity of the best day evers with the best person ever. It makes everything a whole lot less scary.
To end we might wonder why someone might have died so early in life, or brutally if that's the case, but the truth is we shouldn't question God. We can be disappointed, and not understand. But everything God does is good and perfect and has a purpose. We can't comprehend it, because God's thinking is so much higher than ours.
Tuesday, September 27, 2016
Breaking Bread
Last night while doing my bible reading for school, I came across something I had never realized before that seemed so significant to me that I hadn't remembered being taught. (The Bible is always revealing new things every time you open it). The revelation I'm going to talk about in the first part of this post comes at the end of Luke, after Jesus is resurrected and appears to his apostles. Here's the verse.
While they were talking and discussing together, Jesus himself drew near and went with them. 16 But their eyes were kept from recognizing him. 17 And he said to them, “What is this conversation that you are holding with each other as you walk?” And they stood still, looking sad. 18 Then one of them, named Cleopas, answered him, “Are you the only visitor to Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?” 19 And he said to them, “What things?” And they said to him, “Concerning Jesus of Nazareth, a man who was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people, 20 and how our chief priests and rulers delivered him up to be condemned to death, and crucified him. 21 But we had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel. Yes, and besides all this, it is now the third day since these things happened. 22 Moreover, some women of our company amazed us. They were at the tomb early in the morning, 23 and when they did not find his body, they came back saying that they had even seen a vision of angels, who said that he was alive. 24 Some of those who were with us went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but him they did not see.” 25 And he said to them, “O foolish ones, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! 26 Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into his glory?” 27 And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning himself.
28 So they drew near to the village to which they were going. He acted as if he were going farther, 29 but they urged him strongly, saying, “Stay with us, for it is toward evening and the day is now far spent.” So he went in to stay with them. 30 When he was at table with them, he took the bread and blessed and broke it and gave it to them. 31 And their eyes were opened, and they recognized him.
Sorry that the verse is so long, but I think it's so significant to have all the context. So in this verse we see that after Jesus is resurrected he appears to his disciples, and at first they don't recognize him. They're eyes are opened at the end of the passage after Jesus breaks bread. Jesus could of revealed himself to the disciples in all sorts of different ways, or just revealed himself to them right away. But he didn't, he actually used breaking of bread. This shows the importance that Jesus puts on the covenant meal. We should do it more than just at church meetings, but in our homes at restaurants, as an intimate thing between believers.
While they were talking and discussing together, Jesus himself drew near and went with them. 16 But their eyes were kept from recognizing him. 17 And he said to them, “What is this conversation that you are holding with each other as you walk?” And they stood still, looking sad. 18 Then one of them, named Cleopas, answered him, “Are you the only visitor to Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?” 19 And he said to them, “What things?” And they said to him, “Concerning Jesus of Nazareth, a man who was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people, 20 and how our chief priests and rulers delivered him up to be condemned to death, and crucified him. 21 But we had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel. Yes, and besides all this, it is now the third day since these things happened. 22 Moreover, some women of our company amazed us. They were at the tomb early in the morning, 23 and when they did not find his body, they came back saying that they had even seen a vision of angels, who said that he was alive. 24 Some of those who were with us went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but him they did not see.” 25 And he said to them, “O foolish ones, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! 26 Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into his glory?” 27 And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning himself.
28 So they drew near to the village to which they were going. He acted as if he were going farther, 29 but they urged him strongly, saying, “Stay with us, for it is toward evening and the day is now far spent.” So he went in to stay with them. 30 When he was at table with them, he took the bread and blessed and broke it and gave it to them. 31 And their eyes were opened, and they recognized him.
Sorry that the verse is so long, but I think it's so significant to have all the context. So in this verse we see that after Jesus is resurrected he appears to his disciples, and at first they don't recognize him. They're eyes are opened at the end of the passage after Jesus breaks bread. Jesus could of revealed himself to the disciples in all sorts of different ways, or just revealed himself to them right away. But he didn't, he actually used breaking of bread. This shows the importance that Jesus puts on the covenant meal. We should do it more than just at church meetings, but in our homes at restaurants, as an intimate thing between believers.
Sunday, September 18, 2016
Harry Potter and The Bible
What a weird name to name a blogpost, but there's a reason for it. As I've studied biblical principles I've noticed the similarities between Harry Potter, and The Bible.
Prophecy: There's a prophecy of the birth of Jesus and of Harry Potter. I am by know means saying Harry Potter is like Jesus, because of course Harry Potter isn't the son of God. I'm just saying they're are prophecies over their lives before they are born. The prophecy in Harry Potter is given by Professor Trelawney. So she can be seen as a prophet. The prophecy in Harry Potter talks about how a boy will be born at the end of July that will defeat Voldemort (The devil?) The prophecies of Jesus, told where he would be born and to whom, and his coming to the world to be the messiah.
The Demonic: Just as there is an army that are servants to the devil, there seem to be demonic type characters in Harry Potter as well. The Death Eaters. The Death Eaters are servants of Voldemort who is portrayed as they're leader (the devil).
Warfare: They're is a constant fight in the world between good and evil. Known for Christians as spiritual warfare. We have to go through all these tough things meant to make us turn away from our faith. Just like in Harry Potter where the students of Hogwarts are at constant war with Voldemort and when he'll attack next.
The Final Fight (Revelation): In the last book of Harry Potter there seems to be a revelation type fight between the army of Voldemort, and the army of Harry Potter. The army of Harry Potter will ultimately win, like Jesus's army in Revelation. Before the final fight, the people on Harry's side trained to improve their magic skills. Where as Christians train themselves in discipline and knowledge, and righteousness for the coming final days when Jesus will walk the Earth again.
Sacrifice and Ressurection: In the last book of Harry Potter while this final fight is going on, Harry Potter decides to sacrifice himself, and let Voldemort kill him as a means to save his people. This can be paralleled to the crucifixion of Jesus, except in Jesus's case he was not killed by Satan but by people. Just as Jesus was resurrected, so was Harry Potter. Not by the Holy Spirit however, but by a stone. After Jesus died evil things could not win, after Harry Potter died Voldemort was destroyed. Jesus dying did not destroy Satan.
Prophecy: There's a prophecy of the birth of Jesus and of Harry Potter. I am by know means saying Harry Potter is like Jesus, because of course Harry Potter isn't the son of God. I'm just saying they're are prophecies over their lives before they are born. The prophecy in Harry Potter is given by Professor Trelawney. So she can be seen as a prophet. The prophecy in Harry Potter talks about how a boy will be born at the end of July that will defeat Voldemort (The devil?) The prophecies of Jesus, told where he would be born and to whom, and his coming to the world to be the messiah.
The Demonic: Just as there is an army that are servants to the devil, there seem to be demonic type characters in Harry Potter as well. The Death Eaters. The Death Eaters are servants of Voldemort who is portrayed as they're leader (the devil).
Warfare: They're is a constant fight in the world between good and evil. Known for Christians as spiritual warfare. We have to go through all these tough things meant to make us turn away from our faith. Just like in Harry Potter where the students of Hogwarts are at constant war with Voldemort and when he'll attack next.
The Final Fight (Revelation): In the last book of Harry Potter there seems to be a revelation type fight between the army of Voldemort, and the army of Harry Potter. The army of Harry Potter will ultimately win, like Jesus's army in Revelation. Before the final fight, the people on Harry's side trained to improve their magic skills. Where as Christians train themselves in discipline and knowledge, and righteousness for the coming final days when Jesus will walk the Earth again.
Sacrifice and Ressurection: In the last book of Harry Potter while this final fight is going on, Harry Potter decides to sacrifice himself, and let Voldemort kill him as a means to save his people. This can be paralleled to the crucifixion of Jesus, except in Jesus's case he was not killed by Satan but by people. Just as Jesus was resurrected, so was Harry Potter. Not by the Holy Spirit however, but by a stone. After Jesus died evil things could not win, after Harry Potter died Voldemort was destroyed. Jesus dying did not destroy Satan.
Wednesday, September 7, 2016
A Short Revelation
Today as I was picking out what clothes to wear for the day, I came across a shirt with a saying I used to believe. But now troubled my heart. On the front of the shirt it says "Create", and on the back it says: "Today I create a life of my choosing".
A person might believe this phrase if they are not born-again, but once you get born-again you realize how false this statement actually is. The truth is once your born-again you realize that your life is not your own. God creates our world and our life. This may seem controlling, but the reality is he actually creates a world for us so much bigger and better than we can ever imagine. Our worlds without him fall into despair. Before the creation of the world he had preplanned what the purpose of my life would be, and what great things I would accomplish here on Earth. We can rebel against him, or be obedient to his call on our lives. If I created my life the way I wanted it to be, it would take away all the creativeness of God. God has a better life planned for us, it would be stupid to follow what we think would be perfect., because our perfect and God's perfect are on totally different scales.
It's so funny how God talks to us, even on things as simple as a shirt in our drawer.
A person might believe this phrase if they are not born-again, but once you get born-again you realize how false this statement actually is. The truth is once your born-again you realize that your life is not your own. God creates our world and our life. This may seem controlling, but the reality is he actually creates a world for us so much bigger and better than we can ever imagine. Our worlds without him fall into despair. Before the creation of the world he had preplanned what the purpose of my life would be, and what great things I would accomplish here on Earth. We can rebel against him, or be obedient to his call on our lives. If I created my life the way I wanted it to be, it would take away all the creativeness of God. God has a better life planned for us, it would be stupid to follow what we think would be perfect., because our perfect and God's perfect are on totally different scales.
It's so funny how God talks to us, even on things as simple as a shirt in our drawer.
Wednesday, August 31, 2016
An End of a Season
On Saturday my life will transform into a new season, as that is the day I'll meet the students I'll be constantly with for the next nine months of my life. It will also be the day that I'll move out of my summer home. The School of Worship is said to be super intense, and will make you mature three years in just the nine months you are there. I have no doubt this will be the beginning of a new season for me. A transforming season, and possibly a very challenging period. I hope I'll be able to write weekly updates of what I've learned each week. Since that season has yet to start, I'll write a summary of the last part of the season I'm in currently: Summer 2016.
May 2016
- I took my last exam on May 13th in the last possible time slot. My Geography teacher wanted to torture us and make us stay on campus up until the last minute possible. After my exam, it was time to pack up from Parkside and move back to Slinger. This meant saying goodbye to the best roommate ever, Huiying. The nicest roommate, whom I had gone on many adventures with. Whether it be trips to Chicago or Six Flags or as simple as going to the Dollar Store or cleaning up the Racine Zoo.
- I stayed in Slinger for the month of May before moving to Racine May 31st, where I was accepted into the home of Jim and Rachel Garnett with open arms. I couldn't be more thankful for that. Even though most of my month was spent in Slinger, I would go down to Racine each week, so I could finish a church class called V+C. V+C stands for Vision and Commitments, and it's a twenty week course that teaches you everything Living Light believes in, and biblical scripture backing up why we believe the things we do. Thank you to the Kreye family and the Nitz for accepting me into your homes on Monday nights after V+C took place, so I didn't have to drive all the way back to Slinger.
-Before I said goodbye to Slinger, I spent my last weekend seeing Dan and Phil in Milwaukee. Two British YouTubers who were then on their tour in America. They did a theatrical show, putting in elements of their YouTube channels within it. It was beyond amazing, and the set itself was super creative. Thank you Alex and Anne Leviska for experiencing that with me!
May 2016
- I took my last exam on May 13th in the last possible time slot. My Geography teacher wanted to torture us and make us stay on campus up until the last minute possible. After my exam, it was time to pack up from Parkside and move back to Slinger. This meant saying goodbye to the best roommate ever, Huiying. The nicest roommate, whom I had gone on many adventures with. Whether it be trips to Chicago or Six Flags or as simple as going to the Dollar Store or cleaning up the Racine Zoo.
-Before I said goodbye to Slinger, I spent my last weekend seeing Dan and Phil in Milwaukee. Two British YouTubers who were then on their tour in America. They did a theatrical show, putting in elements of their YouTube channels within it. It was beyond amazing, and the set itself was super creative. Thank you Alex and Anne Leviska for experiencing that with me!
-June 2016
-I found out I got accepted into the School of Worship,majoring in guitar
-I saw a lot of movies this summer, not just in June including: "Neighbors 2", "Finding Dory",
"BFG", "Suicide Squad" twice, and "Secret Life of Pets"
-Went on many adventures with Laurette and Kelsey including: trips to the beach and Shirl's
-Started training as a camp counselor for Recreational Activities for the Developmentally Disabled (RADD) The training made the job seem way more intimidating then it actually was.
-Started working at Camp Kinder, which God would teach me a lot through including seeing life through a whole new perspective. (Hopefully a new blogpost on that later).
- Saw the premiere of "In the Land of Canaan" a documentary that a guy put together about the importance of kids with special needs after his daughter died in October. I connected with this movie a lot, because it reinforced what God was teaching me through my workplace.
- The "Underground Huddle" was launched at West Park. Something I knew little about that would slowly become important to my purpose for being in Racine this summer. The Underground Huddle focuses on reaching youth in the community with the gospel, and giving them a safe atmosphere to hang out, and make friends with others while doing activities. I am a volunteer co-teacher and friend for the ladies who have become apart of this group.
-July 2016
-Laurette left to go to basic training for the Marines
-July was filled with mostly working and helping out with the Underground Huddle so there won't be much more :P
-In the middle of July I went to Merriville Indiana to go to a conference through my church. I gained so much wisdom, and got to get to know people more from the church, whilst having the best roommates.
-At the end of July I went down to Chicago with my friend Cleo. We explored Naperville while almost having our bodies melt away to sweat puddles because of the hot temperatures. We did this all to meet a YouTuber (Shane Dawson) who probably wasn't as excited to hug dripping wet sweaty fans. It was worth it, even though it was rushed so no one would be reduced to a sweat puddle on the ground.
-Went to the Washington County Fair with one of my friends, Liz who was home after moving out to Virginia.
-August 2016
-Saw a friend I hadn't gotten to talk to in awhile, Liza and went down to Zion to listen to some free live music.
-Ended a successful summer of Camp Kinder, however I must of picked up the plague before it happened, because I went through it the next day. Which was the first day of our family vacation. Nothing says happy start to vacation better than a migraine, bad stomach, leg cramps, a bad cold, and general uncomfortableness. Here's a far away picture of me going through it while on my laptop.
- The plague took about two days to overcome. After the plague was over I enjoyed fishing, going out to eat, mini golfing, and shopping on vacation in Hayward.
-After vacation I went back to Racine for two days, after that I would go back home for a week. The purpose of going to Racine, being that one of my wonderful homegroup leaders from church was having a baby shower, and I wanted to help out!
- Spent my last week at home finalizing things, and got to see one of my best friends from school, and catch up!
I start the school on September 6th, so before then I'll be seeing some friends, who I might not get to see too often during the school, and I'll be moving into David and Amy Meyers on Saturday, as well as meeting all the people I'll constantly be with for the next nine months!
Tuesday, August 30, 2016
Faith Will Win, Fear Will Lose
In this post I'm going to be vulnerable once again, as I feel God is leading me to type out this post. At the prayer meeting this evening, one of our elders was talking about the concept of "fight or flight". He used real life examples of how today he came home from work and just felt really frustrated. Why was he frustrated? He didn't even know? There was no reason. He then began to talk about how if he was frustrated being an elder/husband then he could step down for a bit. In reality that's not true, that doesn't do anything or help anyone. It's giving into flight mode. Satan wants us to flee instead of fight. Flee from doing God's work, and instead hiding. God gave me a real analogy in my life on this "flight or fight" mechanism these past two weeks.
Satan knows are weaknesses, what makes us want to hide away from life. For me my weakness is my anxiety. My anxiety was used against me and also for me the past two weeks. (Isn't it great how god can make a bad situation into a lesson?) About two weeks ago was the last day of our family vacation, we had just gotten back from being out in town. I sat down to relax, but my mind was overtaken with panic. I grabbed my guitar, and started playing. (Usually this would soothe me from my panicky thoughts). It didn't. I ran out of the room and to where my mom was. She has dealt with my anxiety before so she knew what to do. My mind kept flickering to that I'd need to go to the hospital to escape this feeling. My mind seems to jump to this irrational conclusion whenever I have a panic attack. I told my mom to take me somewhere...maybe the hospital. (That's never happened). During my panic attacks for some reason my mind tells me running is a good idea. (I absolutely hate running, and only have the urge when I'm in the middle of a panic attack.) My mom told me we could walk outside. So we did, and that's what I did at first, took off running. (Literally deciding to flight in the fight or flight situation.) My mom shouted at me to stop running, and the rational part of my mind made me stop. It's just like God saying in points of trial to stop hiding and fight. Don't let your fear win, let your faith win. Faith will win, fear will lose!
Fast forward one week, still recovering from my last panic attack as the recovery period can take a little time. It happened again. This time my parents and I were in the car on our way home from my aunts at like 9ish. It was dark out. Being in a car at night used to give me anxiety, but it hadn't in awhile so I thought I'd be fine. I wasn't, not really. I started feeling the panic overtaking my mind, I tried to distract my brain with cotton candy (We had been at a festival before going to my aunts house which had cotton candy, no shame). The cotton candy didn't help, and I immediately felt the urge to get out of the car, like my life depended it. So I said just that. I need to get out! My mom made my dad pull over, and she opened the back door. Before the irrational part of my brain got to me and I jumped out of the car and started running down the sidewalk, my rational part stepped up, and I didn't actually step out of the car or my seat. It was like a metaphor for the darkness of sin/Satan coming and trying to consume me, and the urge to run, is to run away from the darkness and hide. Me staying in my seat and not giving in, was God letting me know it's okay and he has me, and he has already won against the darkness, so there's no need to fear.
Not having a panic attack for 6 months, and then having two within two weeks was frustrating. But if God can use it as an inspiration for someone, then I guess it will all be worth it. It will also lessen the effect of Satan's tactics.
Satan knows are weaknesses, what makes us want to hide away from life. For me my weakness is my anxiety. My anxiety was used against me and also for me the past two weeks. (Isn't it great how god can make a bad situation into a lesson?) About two weeks ago was the last day of our family vacation, we had just gotten back from being out in town. I sat down to relax, but my mind was overtaken with panic. I grabbed my guitar, and started playing. (Usually this would soothe me from my panicky thoughts). It didn't. I ran out of the room and to where my mom was. She has dealt with my anxiety before so she knew what to do. My mind kept flickering to that I'd need to go to the hospital to escape this feeling. My mind seems to jump to this irrational conclusion whenever I have a panic attack. I told my mom to take me somewhere...maybe the hospital. (That's never happened). During my panic attacks for some reason my mind tells me running is a good idea. (I absolutely hate running, and only have the urge when I'm in the middle of a panic attack.) My mom told me we could walk outside. So we did, and that's what I did at first, took off running. (Literally deciding to flight in the fight or flight situation.) My mom shouted at me to stop running, and the rational part of my mind made me stop. It's just like God saying in points of trial to stop hiding and fight. Don't let your fear win, let your faith win. Faith will win, fear will lose!
Fast forward one week, still recovering from my last panic attack as the recovery period can take a little time. It happened again. This time my parents and I were in the car on our way home from my aunts at like 9ish. It was dark out. Being in a car at night used to give me anxiety, but it hadn't in awhile so I thought I'd be fine. I wasn't, not really. I started feeling the panic overtaking my mind, I tried to distract my brain with cotton candy (We had been at a festival before going to my aunts house which had cotton candy, no shame). The cotton candy didn't help, and I immediately felt the urge to get out of the car, like my life depended it. So I said just that. I need to get out! My mom made my dad pull over, and she opened the back door. Before the irrational part of my brain got to me and I jumped out of the car and started running down the sidewalk, my rational part stepped up, and I didn't actually step out of the car or my seat. It was like a metaphor for the darkness of sin/Satan coming and trying to consume me, and the urge to run, is to run away from the darkness and hide. Me staying in my seat and not giving in, was God letting me know it's okay and he has me, and he has already won against the darkness, so there's no need to fear.
Not having a panic attack for 6 months, and then having two within two weeks was frustrating. But if God can use it as an inspiration for someone, then I guess it will all be worth it. It will also lessen the effect of Satan's tactics.
Saturday, August 20, 2016
The First Time I Went to Living Light
While I was packing for vacation last week, I came across an old notebook that had an entry dated with the date of the first time I went to Living Light. I used to journal a lot, but never remembered writing an entry specifically about this experience, but I'm so glad I wrote one! I thought it would be cool to share part of the entry with you all, so you can see my first thoughts of this great church. It is written in letter form as if I am talking to God, and about the things that I learned. It's kind of short but I think its pretty cool still.
December 21st 2014 (Gabe Williams was speaking on the troubles of anxiety, which had been a big struggle of my life.) Thank you God for putting Trae in my life and letting me experience this church as well as today's message, which made so much sense to me. You don't have to be afraid, with the power of the Holy Spirit within you. This power of the Holy Spirit has the power to make you appear positive to someone like a light. You instantly know the difference between them and you. All Christians have these amazing gifts like healing and words of wisdom. God has already won our battles for us, we're at the finish line, it's okay for us to celebrate.
December 21st 2014 (Gabe Williams was speaking on the troubles of anxiety, which had been a big struggle of my life.) Thank you God for putting Trae in my life and letting me experience this church as well as today's message, which made so much sense to me. You don't have to be afraid, with the power of the Holy Spirit within you. This power of the Holy Spirit has the power to make you appear positive to someone like a light. You instantly know the difference between them and you. All Christians have these amazing gifts like healing and words of wisdom. God has already won our battles for us, we're at the finish line, it's okay for us to celebrate.
This is a picture taken after my first experience at Living Light, discussing what I had just witnessed. If you ever been to my church, you know it's a lot to take in at first, so discussions after your first time. Obviously to discuss the amazing things that you hadn't experienced from a church before.
Thursday, July 28, 2016
What God's Been Teaching Me Series (Part 2): To Have a Servant's Heart
Recently God's given me the joy in serving people. Whenever someone is in need and asks for help, I rarely say no. Not because I can't say no, and feel obligated to say yes, but because the thought of being able to help someone actually excites me. Need help after getting shoulder surgery? I got you. Need someone to babysit? No problem. Need someone to help lead a new youth group? I'm your girl. Need help getting ready for a baby shower? I'm there. (<--- Real life examples on how I'm currently serving people in my church.) If you're schedule is relatively empty, maybe your not realizing the full potential of what God wants you to be doing. I know in the past if someone had asked me to do something after I had been working, I'd be more reluctant, so to have this feeling of joy with no negativity is so freeing.
I was going to just end the blogpost there but I feel prompted to share this story. So one of the first weeks at the Special Needs summer camp I am working at one of my staff members asked me if I could help her lift one of the kids out of her wheelchair, I accepted right away not even having a thought in my mind of saying no. Especially at a job like this, it's very important that we help each other out. She told me she was so relieved because everyone she asked told her they wouldn't do it. Hearing that made me angry, and I told her to tell one of our camp directors, which she ended up not doing. (This is the only incident at camp that I've heard of like this, so I think it must of been an off day.) For some reason writing this made me think of another situation I don't know why I'm sharing (About to get deep....maybe).
When people don't help you out it's really frustrating. Which leads me to high school gym class (super cringe). We were doing kind of like a gymnastics unit. So you needed to do these poses alone and with 1 or more other people. (Not having a friend in that class was so brutal). I asked group after group if I could join them, and even though I could have they said no. Being rejected multiple times in a row when you really need help is so brutal too, I wouldn't have cared but it was for a grade. An actual gym class you could fail. (Whenever someone talks about their gym classes they always seem so nice and easy, but this one was not. We had like boot camp style warm-ups for 40 minutes before we started the actual activity we'd be doing that day.) I remember breaking down in front of that teacher after getting so frustrated. (All the gym teachers I've had have never seemed to like me so she wasn't much of a help.) A few classes later the popular kids had gotten all the poses done, and were literally just standing around talking even though the gym teacher told them they could get extra credit if they helped people do poses who hadn't completed them yet. One of the girls not apart of the "popular" crowd helped me complete some of the poses she had already done, then talked badly about the "popular" crowd for being so stuck up that people like me not apart of the "popular" crowd were treated like literal trash. People no matter how different they are to you deserve to be loved and cared for.
I'm so glad that the popularity thing vanished after high school. Too much was based on how popular you were, and not how you were as a person which causes so much unnecessary insecurity. I'm not calling out the people who are too busy to help out or the ones who say no for a personal reason. I'm talking about those who blatantly don't help because they don't want to or because of the person they see you as. God is a giving God, and all those times you care for someone in need, God rewards you more. I'm not doing this for the reward, I'm doing this because I genuinely love serving people. Serving others= Serving God.
I was going to just end the blogpost there but I feel prompted to share this story. So one of the first weeks at the Special Needs summer camp I am working at one of my staff members asked me if I could help her lift one of the kids out of her wheelchair, I accepted right away not even having a thought in my mind of saying no. Especially at a job like this, it's very important that we help each other out. She told me she was so relieved because everyone she asked told her they wouldn't do it. Hearing that made me angry, and I told her to tell one of our camp directors, which she ended up not doing. (This is the only incident at camp that I've heard of like this, so I think it must of been an off day.) For some reason writing this made me think of another situation I don't know why I'm sharing (About to get deep....maybe).
When people don't help you out it's really frustrating. Which leads me to high school gym class (super cringe). We were doing kind of like a gymnastics unit. So you needed to do these poses alone and with 1 or more other people. (Not having a friend in that class was so brutal). I asked group after group if I could join them, and even though I could have they said no. Being rejected multiple times in a row when you really need help is so brutal too, I wouldn't have cared but it was for a grade. An actual gym class you could fail. (Whenever someone talks about their gym classes they always seem so nice and easy, but this one was not. We had like boot camp style warm-ups for 40 minutes before we started the actual activity we'd be doing that day.) I remember breaking down in front of that teacher after getting so frustrated. (All the gym teachers I've had have never seemed to like me so she wasn't much of a help.) A few classes later the popular kids had gotten all the poses done, and were literally just standing around talking even though the gym teacher told them they could get extra credit if they helped people do poses who hadn't completed them yet. One of the girls not apart of the "popular" crowd helped me complete some of the poses she had already done, then talked badly about the "popular" crowd for being so stuck up that people like me not apart of the "popular" crowd were treated like literal trash. People no matter how different they are to you deserve to be loved and cared for.
I'm so glad that the popularity thing vanished after high school. Too much was based on how popular you were, and not how you were as a person which causes so much unnecessary insecurity. I'm not calling out the people who are too busy to help out or the ones who say no for a personal reason. I'm talking about those who blatantly don't help because they don't want to or because of the person they see you as. God is a giving God, and all those times you care for someone in need, God rewards you more. I'm not doing this for the reward, I'm doing this because I genuinely love serving people. Serving others= Serving God.
Monday, July 25, 2016
What God's Been Teaching Me Series (Part 1) To Love Children
1) To Love Children: In my family I'm the youngest of most my relatives. If they were younger it was only by a couple years. So up until recently I had been really awkward around kids, not really knowing what I should do. I had experience being around younger kids, but my mom would always be around too, so I'd never be totally alone with them. I remember about 2 years ago, my moms cousin and her little girls were coming to visit Wisconsin while we were camping, I played with them on the playground and things and I guess they did the pick me up motion quite a lot, but back then that was sign language to me, and I didn't know that. I picked them up a couple times, and it was okay but not totally comfortable. (embarrassing I was literally 18).
I've done a 180 since then (okay maybe not quite). The church I go to (Living Light) is filled with young kids, so I think maybe being exposed to their cuteness on a weekly basis helped me be comfortable around kids. I totally love picking up kids now (maybe I'm obsessed ;p) But it's okay because they usually like being picked up too.
I took a babysitting course, when I was whatever age you can legally babysit, but never got any use out of the course, because my mom didn't want me babysitting at stranger's houses and no one we knew ever needed a babysitter. So I didn't start babysitting alone until age 20. What age am I now...20. I think you get how recent this is. God assured me it would be fun, and that it'd help serve a family at my church. So I took the risk, and I absolutely love it. I also work with kids at a Special Needs camp, but their ages range from 5-27. I get to work with a young group of kids this week who love to be picked up. So I get to hold them and play with them multiple times a day all week. I'm pretty excited. Recently during a conference through my church, they sent out an email asking for people to help out in the infant or toddler room. I felt an inner tugging in my chest to volunteer for the toddler room, even though I really had no experience with toddlers besides for two kids in my church that I enjoy watching/playing with. (Torah and Deuce). Arguably the cutest toddlers at my church. I signed up though, and had a blast. Serving the church by keeping their kids safe and comfortable.
To end this blogpost I will put pictures of the kids I've helped my mom watch, the kids mentioned from church, and the kids mentioned from work.
One of the girls I babysit Arwen!
Four kids I babysat a few weeks ago: Eve, Emerson, Jack, and Ryland. (I didn't take this picture.) ;P
Torah!
Deuce: Probably the most talented 2 year old I've Met
Two of the kids in my group this week at camp
Sierra and Amelia: When I first started picking up children at 18 ha ha.
Dayton and Addison
Wednesday, July 13, 2016
A Strange Feeling
Tonight something strange happened. I was at a time of worship with my church, and thought about a heartbreaking circumstance my friend was going through. The phrase, this is one of the most heartbreaking things that can happen, went through my mind, but I didn't really feel heartbroken. But I knew I needed to pray about it. So I went up to make the prayer request, feeling perfectly content, but in a millisecond that content feeling turned to sobbing. I felt the reality of the situation. Not only did I feel my own heartbreak for my friend, I felt a supernatural sadness, that must of been God's sadness for her. Like he was saying, I want you to know how I feel about this situation, and how much I long for it to be fixed. Even though I was sobbing in front of a group of people. I silently thanked God, for letting me feel his emotions, and be able to be able to more greatly empathize with the situation. I always saw people sob at church, and I felt the sadness of things too, but never in a supernatural way that would leave me crying. But I'm so glad God shared such an intimate emotion with me.
It's really heartbreaking when someone is told about God's love, and they reject it, but I think it might even be more heartbreaking when someone who knew God's intense love falls away from him. I don't understand it. But that's just it, the devil is really good at what he does. He can take the most faithful people, and turn them away and deceive them. His ultimate goal is to steal people away from a perfect life with God in heaven. To truly know God at such a deep level one moment, and the very next moment fall away so quickly.
It reminds me of a Halloween play I saw back in October at my friend's church. It was about all the unsaved souls going to hell, and what it looked like there. All the suffering people, as Satan named off why they were all there. Some people were there for an obvious reason, but one of the boys that was there had loved God, but then fell away, and in the scene Satan was laughing. This was such a victory for Satan. A victory that could of easily been Gods was now the devils, and he was so proud of that. It still confuses me, how something like that could happen, especially when you knew Gods love so well.
In society today, it makes sense to me why a lot of people don't trust in God. With all the churches being so corrupted, and people adding conditions to God's love. Rules to follow unless you want to be condemned. People who feel unwanted at church. But to be apart of such a church that knows God's love so well goes over my head.
I know that even though she doesn't feel God right now, he hasn't given up on her and he is closer to her than ever. Ready to take hold of her hand when she reaches out to him again. I don't by any means think this will end up being a victory for Satan. With our prayers I pray that her process of knowing God will come fast, and she won't dwell in a dark place for too long, and try to do things by her own strength. It's so much easier for a person that doesn't know God to continue not knowing God then for a person that once knew God to not come back to his love. This is because we are no longer attached to the world but to eternity.
It's really heartbreaking when someone is told about God's love, and they reject it, but I think it might even be more heartbreaking when someone who knew God's intense love falls away from him. I don't understand it. But that's just it, the devil is really good at what he does. He can take the most faithful people, and turn them away and deceive them. His ultimate goal is to steal people away from a perfect life with God in heaven. To truly know God at such a deep level one moment, and the very next moment fall away so quickly.
It reminds me of a Halloween play I saw back in October at my friend's church. It was about all the unsaved souls going to hell, and what it looked like there. All the suffering people, as Satan named off why they were all there. Some people were there for an obvious reason, but one of the boys that was there had loved God, but then fell away, and in the scene Satan was laughing. This was such a victory for Satan. A victory that could of easily been Gods was now the devils, and he was so proud of that. It still confuses me, how something like that could happen, especially when you knew Gods love so well.
In society today, it makes sense to me why a lot of people don't trust in God. With all the churches being so corrupted, and people adding conditions to God's love. Rules to follow unless you want to be condemned. People who feel unwanted at church. But to be apart of such a church that knows God's love so well goes over my head.
I know that even though she doesn't feel God right now, he hasn't given up on her and he is closer to her than ever. Ready to take hold of her hand when she reaches out to him again. I don't by any means think this will end up being a victory for Satan. With our prayers I pray that her process of knowing God will come fast, and she won't dwell in a dark place for too long, and try to do things by her own strength. It's so much easier for a person that doesn't know God to continue not knowing God then for a person that once knew God to not come back to his love. This is because we are no longer attached to the world but to eternity.
Friday, July 1, 2016
Individualism vs. Being a Group
Society today, puts a high standard on being an individual. Who are you? How are you different from everyone else? What makes you unique? But why don't we try and figure out what is alike about us. I know this sounds stupid, but follow me for a second.
In a prayer meeting at my church last week God gave me a picture of leaves. A stem of leaves all connected to each other. Together a group, living on the same stem, making up the tree. A small grouping apart of a much bigger thing.
In school I didn't really like group projects. It always seemed like ideas were overlooked or someone pulled more weight then the others. I would rather do it by myself to ensure it got done the way I wanted it to get done. But that ultimately won't make you successful in the purposes of God. In order to further God's kingdom on the Earth we need to work together as a team. There's only so much we can do by ourselves, and it's not enough.
God puts people in our lives for a reason. We need to find the people God has sent for us to work together with "our people" (the other leaves connected to the same stem as us) to work efficiently while in this life. It can be hard, and there might be disagreements, but it's so worth it.
Like in my job, I work with another staff member each week. Without that help, things would become really hectic. There would be no way to ensure the safety of the kids I was watching then. One could decide to wander off, and I'd have to either go after the one wandering off or make sure the other four are safe etc. (I work at a special needs camp). We need to have the staff work together to ensure the kids are safe, having a good time, and comfortable.
Who's a part of your leaf stem? Who's God calling you to work together with to ensure the best possible outcome?
In a prayer meeting at my church last week God gave me a picture of leaves. A stem of leaves all connected to each other. Together a group, living on the same stem, making up the tree. A small grouping apart of a much bigger thing.
In school I didn't really like group projects. It always seemed like ideas were overlooked or someone pulled more weight then the others. I would rather do it by myself to ensure it got done the way I wanted it to get done. But that ultimately won't make you successful in the purposes of God. In order to further God's kingdom on the Earth we need to work together as a team. There's only so much we can do by ourselves, and it's not enough.
God puts people in our lives for a reason. We need to find the people God has sent for us to work together with "our people" (the other leaves connected to the same stem as us) to work efficiently while in this life. It can be hard, and there might be disagreements, but it's so worth it.
Like in my job, I work with another staff member each week. Without that help, things would become really hectic. There would be no way to ensure the safety of the kids I was watching then. One could decide to wander off, and I'd have to either go after the one wandering off or make sure the other four are safe etc. (I work at a special needs camp). We need to have the staff work together to ensure the kids are safe, having a good time, and comfortable.
Who's a part of your leaf stem? Who's God calling you to work together with to ensure the best possible outcome?
Saturday, June 25, 2016
Being Vulnerable
I try to be upbeat and positive in all my posts, but that isn't going to be the case today. I hate that even though I'm usually a happy person, that today that's not me. So I just thought it would help to write about it. Maybe it will improve things. I really hope so.
I haven't been feeling myself lately. My insecurities are showing through, my social skills which I worked really hard to build has turned into painful shyness this last week and a half. Nothing traumatic in life happened to make me feel this way, so I wonder what happened to me? I don't like small talk, but I feel like that's all I've been able to manage lately. Why is it, that I fell in love with a church and the people in it, and it's been over a year, but I feel so awkward on Sundays. I've been trying my very best to get to know these people, that it's so hard to see all the social interactions going on, even from people newer then me. I need to find my people, but it's so hard to be patient anymore, when you've been patient for so long.
I was comfortable being by myself earlier this year, but now I just want people to share in life's experiences with me. I feel a sense of boredom and wanting to be with people when I'm not. Like everyone else is surrounded by others, and it just makes me wonder why I'm alone so often. I know people get busy, and I'm busy too, but having everyone be busy sucks, or friends who live too far away. I envy the people who live close to their best friends. The people that don't have to think twice, because they always have someone by their sides. I feel distant from people, I had no problem talking to before and that scares me. All these emotions have been building up from lack of intimacy in friendships I've been experiencing lately.
Another thing I'm feeling is a sense of falling away from God, which is probably why I'm feeling all these emotions. I know he's as close as he was before. But I just don't know how to get my life back on track with my faith. I don't think I'm doing enough, and don't feel like I'm hearing from him as much as I should, and I'm not sure what to do. But I went to a church homegroup on Thursday and that helped a lot, but now that's over, and I don't know it's just been really hard. Especially today for some reason. Maybe its because it's the end of a tiring week. But I really don't want to be like this anymore. It just hurts when you want to do something so simple, and you just can't, even when you put in maximum effort.
I haven't been feeling myself lately. My insecurities are showing through, my social skills which I worked really hard to build has turned into painful shyness this last week and a half. Nothing traumatic in life happened to make me feel this way, so I wonder what happened to me? I don't like small talk, but I feel like that's all I've been able to manage lately. Why is it, that I fell in love with a church and the people in it, and it's been over a year, but I feel so awkward on Sundays. I've been trying my very best to get to know these people, that it's so hard to see all the social interactions going on, even from people newer then me. I need to find my people, but it's so hard to be patient anymore, when you've been patient for so long.
I was comfortable being by myself earlier this year, but now I just want people to share in life's experiences with me. I feel a sense of boredom and wanting to be with people when I'm not. Like everyone else is surrounded by others, and it just makes me wonder why I'm alone so often. I know people get busy, and I'm busy too, but having everyone be busy sucks, or friends who live too far away. I envy the people who live close to their best friends. The people that don't have to think twice, because they always have someone by their sides. I feel distant from people, I had no problem talking to before and that scares me. All these emotions have been building up from lack of intimacy in friendships I've been experiencing lately.
Another thing I'm feeling is a sense of falling away from God, which is probably why I'm feeling all these emotions. I know he's as close as he was before. But I just don't know how to get my life back on track with my faith. I don't think I'm doing enough, and don't feel like I'm hearing from him as much as I should, and I'm not sure what to do. But I went to a church homegroup on Thursday and that helped a lot, but now that's over, and I don't know it's just been really hard. Especially today for some reason. Maybe its because it's the end of a tiring week. But I really don't want to be like this anymore. It just hurts when you want to do something so simple, and you just can't, even when you put in maximum effort.
Thursday, June 16, 2016
Things I Didn't Think I'd Ever Do But Did
1) In May 2012 I went ziplining, despite having nightmares before going. It was probably my favorite thing ever.
2) Go on giant rollercoasters, they had always intrigued me but actually going to Six Flags for the first time in June 2015 was really intimidating. But I found that to be really fun too.
2) Go on giant rollercoasters, they had always intrigued me but actually going to Six Flags for the first time in June 2015 was really intimidating. But I found that to be really fun too.
(This isn't a picture of one of the big rides I was talking about ;P)
3) Live away from home. I always knew I would eventually do that, because everyone does , but I never thought I would so soon, and over an hour away. Being far away from a place of comfort seemed so scary. But God called me to the Kenosha/Racine area, and I'm so glad I came here.
4) Goes along with 3. It's live with a roommate. When I was really young I used to share a room with my brother. But as we got older we had our separate rooms. So I was used to having a room alone. So I wasn't sure how being with a roommate would be. I thought it would be a lot harder than it actually was and that we would fight. But that was never the case. :) Here's a picture of my most recent one
5) Traveling many states away without my family, and not being scared. When considering traveling at a younger age, I was always scared of what if something happened all those states away from home, and what would I do. I no longer have those fears anymore, and look forward to traveling more in the future. Last summer I traveled to Pennsylvania without fear for over a week.
6) Meet Tyler Oakley or see any of my favorite celebrities in person. I already did a blog about this.
7) Live at someone else's house: So last year sometime, a girl from my church said she was staying with one of the other church families in the area, because she wasn't originally from here. (Which I've come to realize is a pretty common thing with Living Light.) I just remember thinking that was really weird, and wondered why she wouldn't have her own place etc. But now that girl is me.
8) Find Mature Guys. In high school I kind of loss hope in ever seeing such a thing as a mature boy in college. But within the first month of college, I found out there was such a thing, and now I have a lot of guy friends.
9) Be outgoing. Beat shyness. Yes I'm more introverted then extraverted, and I have some awkward times, and times of not knowing what to say. But I found my voice in college. In high school people put judgments before ever getting to know you. Judgments that stick with you all throughout middle, and high school, that maybe go as far back as elementary school. Those judgments never let people actually see who I really was, so I was treated disrespectfully and taken advantage of for being the quiet girl with friends who were labeled to be the weird outsider kids. In college I had a new beginning where absolutely no one knew me, and I was able to shine. The great thing about college is, there is no popularity, and you don't have to be a certain way to impress anyone, because people just like you are waiting to meet you. (Sorry for the rant this is just so so important.) I often wonder what people from high school would think of me now, now that I've been so true to who I am. I think they'd be surprised.
10) Fall in love with church. From a young age I did like church, but I liked it for the wrong reason. I liked it because I thought it was the right thing to do in obeying God, and obeying God brought me joy. Sitting through an hour long service in a Catholic church was considered boring for the most part. It was more of a chore to people. Something even though it was one hour a week people dreaded doing. So I never thought I would get butterflies in my stomach in excitement for going to church on Sundays. But I did, and I do. Everyone deserves to find such a church that you can't wait for it to be Sunday, because you know amazing things will happen. I also found understanding when reading "The Bible" when normally I found it as a boring, confusing text. Now the words in it are just so beautiful. Because God actually wrote them all.
I might add to this later, as in the past I was so afraid to do a lot of things, I'm sure I forgot some stuff. But here's my list of moments for now. :)
Tuesday, June 7, 2016
Some Photography
I've taken some really cool pictures recently, but didn't want to clog up anyone's newsfeed on Facebook by posting them, so I'll post them here :P
Racine Beach
Racine Beach
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