Growth and Maturity

     What does it mean to grow or be mature?  The passage of time does not equal maturity.  As we grow up we think that we mature simultaneously, but that isn't true.  We need to change our perspective on that.  It takes a different way of living for us to grow up.  Just because days go by doesn't mean that there is any growth.  The opposite of laziness is patience.  Patience isn't sitting around waiting for a change to happen, it's about ceasing the moment so we can do the things that God has intended for us to do.  We need to take the action to actually grow up, and then God's grace will give us the growth and maturity we need.  Things won't happen in a certain year or date.  If you're struggling in a friendship, times not going to heal the problem, it's going to start to be healed the moment you grow up.  We're not waiting to grow up, God is waiting for the growth in us.  It's never too late to grow up, Moses made the change to grow up at the age of forty, likewise it's never too early to grow up either.  The disciples had to grow up, and make the change super early in their lives in order to do the things Jesus wanted them to do.

     Signs of Maturity: Taking responsibility for things/getting engaged in an issue, a new identity, engagement with others, pain, eternal perspective.

Responsibility:  If you want something changed you no longer complain about it, you engage in the issue to help change the situation.

Identity Changes:  The way we view ourselves is the way we live, and we need to give things up in order to experience growth.  God's given us everything we need, so we should no longer view ourselves as too weak. or too shy, because none of that is true in our identity with God.  We can't think of just ourselves alone, but with God we have no excuses.  It doesn't matter what other people say we are because we aren't that it only matters who we say we are. Who do you say you are?  You are what God has called you to be.

Engagement with People:  Life is not about us pursuing our pleasures throughout lives, or doing things to keep us happy, it's about laying your life down for other people.  Sometimes people we like keep us the same, and don't allow growth in us.  We need to find the people who will push us to grow in our faith, not the people who only tell us what we want to hear.  Sometimes we need to find the people important in our faith before we figure out our purpose in life.  Immaturity is relying on other people to do things for you.

Pain:  Pain is important to growth.  With pain we need to embrace the pain of the present, and think about the future glory in heaven.  We can't experience growth without any pain.  You can only put off pain or pleasure in your life.  If you push off pain in your life it's coming in your future.  The one you choose to put off is usually greater in the future.  Where are you avoiding pain in your life?  (Just know by doing this you are putting off growing.)  Change is always hard but we must endure it anyways.

Eternal Perspective:  We need to think of what's best for us in the long run. No more "Yolo" but instead "What can I do today, because tomorrow is coming?"

  Make it your decision, that this year is going to be yours.  Don't keep pushing it off, and saying I'll be more ready in the future, because you won't.  You need to start now! Growing up doesn't mean doing it right the first time, its about the lessons taught.  It's about getting it wrong so you can do better next time.

The First Week (Day 3)

     I started out my morning by setting up the table for the Cru surveys.  It was way to early for me to be social and yell about winning $100 so I just sat and people watched until Robert showed up.  Robert instantly got four people to do the survey.  I had English class at 11 so I left Rob to do the surveys.

    My English professor is the same one I had at the beginning of the year last year.  I had signed up to be in his class this year, but he had been switched out of teaching that class.  About a week ago he added me on Facebook and told me when his section of English was, and I decided to switch into his class.  His classes are always interesting, and he cares a lot about his students.  He was definitely fit to teach a college class.  Quote from class: "How long is a super-model's skirt?"  "Long enough to cover stuff, but short enough to keep things interesting, that's how I want your essays to be."  He must of said 50 random/funny things like that throughout the whole class.  I'm definitely glad I switched back into his class.

   He let us out early and I went back to the survey tables.  At that time there was a stack of like 30 completed surveys, Robert had gotten a lot of people since I had been away for an hour.  I stayed and watched for a bit and talked to Jeremy, then got lunch quick and headed to Algebra.

   After Algebra I took a short nap in my apartment, then drove to Walmart to pick up things I could make.  Like the typical: Pizza Rolls, Macoroni and Cheese, Lemonade, Rice, and stuff to make Pickle rollls.  I also got some other school supplies I needed.

   I came back to my apartment and had the annual "I don't know if I want to be here 1st week of school thought"  the ones that scare you about the year but fade away once clubs start up again.  I know they're temporary but it was still hard.
 
    I met my roommates on the other side of the apartment, I hadn't really officially met them before that time.  Then I met up with Jeremy that evening, where we had a long talk about things.  We went outside to find out that "The Beat" was throwing a music event on campus.  People on campus were playing sets along with random Minute to Win It games.  We stayed and watched for a bit, then Jeremy got cold so we went inside to see if anyone was in The Den.  There wasn't so we walked through the halls.

     We stopped at the App Factory where we saw Kyle.  He keeps a stash of Nerf Guns in the App  Factory, and shot me. The nerf gun bullet hit my cheek, and stuck there.  I threw the bullet on the ground and fake stormed out.  Jeremy then went back to his dorm.

   I worked on my math homework for a little bit, and then heard various quotes from "Mean Girls" coming from the living room area.  I went to join my new roommates and watched it with them.  After that was over we watched YouTube videos about a guy and his Corgi as it grew up.  I found it interesting how I could watch the same dog being absolutely adorable for so long.  (I guess that's the same reason I can go dog-watching for extended periods of times at dog parks :P)

The First Week of School (Day 2)

    My first class started at 9 this morning and ran until 10:40.  My first class of Mondays and Wednesday is Spanish.  For Spanish class we have a smaller room this year, and our laptops are needed for class.  With a small classroom the desks are also small, so I'm a little unsure about it all.  We went over the syllabus the first hour of class, and figured out the online book and wrote a paragraph about ourselves.
     After Spanish was over, my next class didn't start until 1.  I stayed in the school though because Cru was holding a thing on the bridge.  If you filled out a survey, you could win a chance to get a $100 Amazon gift card.  Jeremy and I promoted the survey with a little help from Rob.  We got at least 50 surveys by the time I had to be at class.  Its crazy how a lot of people pass up the chance to win free money.  While doing the survey I realized how many new faces there actually are on campus.  (I do have this thing though where I don't remember faces very well.) so maybe they're not new faces after all.  I expected to recognize a ton of people.  One girl was excited to know that we had a Cru on campus.  Jeremy said that when some of the people saw what the survey was for, they just crumpled it up.
    At 1 I had Algebra class.  This math class gives you a little more slack on things.  You need to get a 70% in the class and a 75% or above on all your tests, and an 80% average on homework to pass the class.  The class I was in last semester you needed an 80% on all your quizzes, a B in the class, and an 85% or above on the Final Exam.  This class will be harder, so we will see how it goes.  My professor is booked with classes this semester so it will be hard to get help from him, like I did a few times last semester.  We didn't get any homework in class today, we just went over the Syllabus the whole hour.  The hours would pass super slowly today because of all the boredness that ensued.
     I had Intro to Asia right after Algebra, and I was super tired because I didn't have a chance to go to my dorm and relax.  How people ever do jobs and college I will never understand.  We went over yet again another Syllabus but the professor let us go early.  Thank goodness because that class is literally an hour and 20 minutes.
      I went to the bookstore afterwards and picked up my books then I headed back to my room where I took a nap.  I then went on got dinner by myself.  My friend Laurette is not enrolled in classes this semester so its been weird.  I would usually have dinner with her or hang out in the den with her, but now she will only visit campus sometimes.  The next time she'll be here is next Tuesday, which isn't too long but kind of long when you used to see her everyday on campus.  Aly and Ashley now live off campus which makes it a little harder too.  I guess I'll have to make more friends this year.  I was hoping I was done with the whole process of making friends on campus, but I guess its not over yet :P.  I know it will get easier when there's actual activities on campus but right now there's not much going on.  It's hard to know when to trust people here, so I can't just go out and make friends.  A lot of people I befriended in the beginning of the year last year ended up betraying my trust.
   Sometimes I think about if I lived off campus.  How I wouldn't feel guilty about not being out of my room all the time.  I could also get decent hours of sleep then, and probably be not as bored, when I have a night where nothing is going on like this one.

The First Week of School (Day 1)

   I'd thought I'd do a post about my first week of college as a sophomore so you guys can check in on how I am doing.

   Going back to a campus where you know people there is so refreshing.  I don't have to be terrified by all the people here, of the unknown.  The freshman are the ones who look odd to me, I'm not the confused one anymore.
    This year I decided I wanted to live in the apartment.  The only flaw is living with 6 other girls.  That part scared me, and still does scare me.  The apartment is big though with three girls on my side and 4 on the other.  With a bathroom on each side.  I was originally suppose to live with my friend Ashley, but life went unplanned and she has to live with her grandma and take care of her.  I'm stuck in an apartment with total strangers.  It's a bit stressful, but so far the girl that shares my room with me seems nice.
    I got to campus at around noon with my parents and we had lunch after everything had been moved to my room.  I unpacked everything and got situated in.  Move in day ended up being 90 degrees.  It was crazy!  Once I got everything organized, my friend Jeremy met me in the lobby of his dorm building with his friend Kyle.  Kyle drove us to the police station so they could both pick up their parking passes.  (My parents had taken me there after lunch).  Kyle then drove us to the Student Center so he could show his friend around campus.  We ended up seeing Nicole in the parking lot and I ran after her.  At first I was afraid I was running after a complete stranger but it was her.  We went up to the Suites to see her boyfriends room.  When we got up to the 4th floor, I saw someone who had left campus but I guess he was back for the new year.  I really wished he would have stayed off campus because I really can't stand him.  After our adventures to the suites, I hung out with Jeremy in his dorm for a little bit and  met his once invisible roommate.
    I then went back to my dorm for a short nap, and then went to a Cru planning meeting at 8 which lasted until 10.  I left for 20 minutes to go to the mandatory apartment meeting.  It basically said don't do drugs, don't light candles, and don't be loud during quiet time.  After the Cru planning meeting Jeremy. and I went to the den where we saw Kyle again.  We ate a snack at the den and talked and Chris (Cru staff) joined us.  Then I came back to my room to type this.  :D

Things to Ponder (Part 2)

    I did a post similar to this a few weeks ago.  I thought I would have a lot more posts, but I haven't gotten around to reading "Mere Christianity" as much as I thought I would so this will probably be my last post about it for a bit since it does need to be returned.  The first 1st post is elsewhere on my blog so if you want to read that first.
     
      Free Will?  Parents can tell their kids to keep their rooms clean, but it is their will whether they choose to listen or not.  The parents would rather have their children obey them, just like God would like us to follow his plan for our lives.  The parent's will to not make absolutely sure the room is always tidied has willed it to be a voluntary option for the children.  We have free will to follow God, but he doesn't force us to do anything.  People are free to be good or bad, which has made evil possible in the world.  If evil is in the world you may ask why God created free will in the first place? This is because even though free will creates evil it is also the only way possible to have any joy, happiness or goodness worth having in the world.  God wants to let us have the happiness of being free, and the happiness of voluntary getting to know him.  God knew the risk he was taking when he made free will. and he thought that it was worth it.

      Do We Really Need God?  Just like a car needs gasoline to run properly, we cannot live properly without God.  Since God created us we need him to survive.  He fuels us with the Holy Spirit.  Satan comes in and tries to make us run on the wrong fuel, making us believe we can survive without God.  We can but ultimately something will go completely wrong, and you won't be successful.

My Updated Summer Bucket List

1. Go to Summerfest (My favorite festival :D) Went with Liza and saw Ed Sheeran
2. Go to a beach and swim   Regner Park for work :) 
3. Record "A Beach in Michigan" monologue
4. Go on a hike Hiked at Trek while looking for a lake at night, Hiked with Jeremy in West Bend, Hiked in West Bend for work.
5. Get and enjoy a part-time job  I'm working at the Threshold, working with special needs kids.
6. Record YouTube videos
7. Visit Mayfair Mall
8. Milwaukee County Zoo
9. Spend a day in Chicago
10. Hang out with Amber as much as possible.  She worked to much and lived too far away :( 
11. See a concert  Saw Ed Sheeran 
12. Enjoy Conference :P Can't wait to go again :D 
13. Attend Living Light some Sundays.  I went twice, wish I could of gone more.
14. Learn New things (Learned how to do a new type of friendship bracelets, and what a labyrinth is)
15. Six Flags :D 
16. Wisconsin Dells Trip? :)  Plans got mixed up.
17. 5th Annual Summer Party?  (In planning) Too busy.  
18. Read some books?  I read "A Work in Progress" and "More Than a Carpenter" 
19. Go to the Movie Theatre to see movies such as "Paper Towns" :D I saw "Jurassic World" with Jeremy and Laurette, I also saw "Inside Out".  Paper Towns went out of theatres so quickly. 
20. Graduation Parties  Went to Angela's grad party 
21. Slumber Party with Friends (Ya'll are always welcome though)  Lets have another one during the school year.
22. Family Vacation: Hayward!
23. Fishing:  Yess!!!!
24. Eat a ton of icecream
25. Trekkk
26. Do new things (I went on a giant swing, and on giant roller-coasters, going to the spa)

Summer 2015

   It feels like Summer 2015 has been going on forever.  When I went to Conference in Pennsylvania it felt like I had been there for at least a month.  I'm definitely not complaining as this summer has been so packed and wonderful.  Even though it has felt so long, I'm still not too excited for school yet.  I thought with a longer summer vacation, I'd actually want to go back by the end of it but there's just something nice about free time.  So here's a little peak into what happened Summer 2015.

    May 2015
- The day before Trek Tyler, Laurette, and Jeremy stayed at my house and we watched TFIOS.  This is also where Snoop Whale was born, as well as the Flipping Ships catch phrase that would be used during Trek.
- The first weekend home was spent in Westby Wisconsin for Trek, a Christian Leadership Conference.  There we were put into a group of our school and UWWC.  During the 5 days we were there we learned about the importance of working as a team, our goals for campus next year, went ziplining, went on a giant swing, shared about Christianity to the people of LaCrosse, and went canoeing,  Jeremy's car ended up breaking down from too much twenty-one-pilots.  I made a couple of blogposts about it, so if you want to read more about it you can look on my blog.
- I spent a weekend at Jeremy's house.  We moved my brother out on a Saturday, and the next day would be his graduation, so we'd come back to Kenosha the next day, so I thought it was fitting just to stay there.  I also really wanted to go back to Living Light, and decided Sunday would be a good opportunity for that.  Jeremy's family had done the Color Run earlier that day, so they were full of color when I got to their house.  (After trying to find it for a half hour).  Jeremy was tired and went to take a nap, I ended up falling asleep as well on their couch in their living room.  Afterward Jeremy's little 5 year old brother decided to show off his selfie taking skills by taking his moms phone and taking selfies of us, and a picture of Jeremy and I together too.

  His grandpa also decided to visit that night along with Jeremy's mom's friend Dan.  We all decided to go to the restaurant that Jeremy and his sister worked at for dinner.  Jeremy's friend Steve showed up too, and would also sleep over that night too.  It was a nice restaurant right on Lake Michigan only five minutes from their house.  He's told me many times what its called but I've forgotten again...whoops.  Ridge Point, Reef Point? <---- probably not even close.

  His grandpa is a really cool guy.  That night Steve read fanfiction stories he had written about Jeremy's life until he was too tired.  In the middle of the night there was really loud sirens and the sound of Jeremy tripping over his couch.  The next morning we had M&M pancakes.  (I swear they put M&M's on everything).  Steve went home then I went to church with Jeremy and his family for half a service before leaving to go next door to Living Light.  (Are churches are next door to each other).  Jeremy and his sister stopped by during break then left to go back home.  Trae took me to Carthage where my brother was graduating after church.  On the way we had a super inspirational talk about life.
-Rick graduated from Carthage

June:

- I babysat two kids the week before I would go to job training, Dayton and Addison.  We watched Chuggington, and played house, as Dayton had a crisis at 3 years old about how he was getting old.
- I helped my mom clean our other house that originally belonged to my grandma.  My brother and his fiancee will move in, in October.
-My friend Lizzy from Trek decided that every week of summer she would go out sharing somewhere.  (I checked with her at the end of August, and she didn't miss any week.)  We ended up going sharing at Bayshore Mall.  Lizzy and Anna came along with their sister Haddy her friend, Jordan, and Jeremy.  Jeremy and I went out sharing together and were pretty unsuccessful, because everyone we talked to had to go to work.  We had caught them during their breaks apparently.  We ended up getting Superman flavored ice cream.  We debriefed at the Cheesecake Factory, then went to a Culvers in Milwaukee, and to a beach by a lake to hang out for awhile.  Jeremy and I also went to Jersey Shore that day.

Lizzy, Anna, and Haddy's friend and I would get lost in a Milwaukee ghetto later that night for an hour while trying to find the park and ride I had parked at at night.  All of our phones were dead.

- The next day I would go to Six Flags for the first time ever with Jordan, Jeremy, and Laurette.  It was for a Target Celebration Day.  I made a post about the trip to Six Flags already so you can read about that post.
-  Job Training started, and I sat through it all as a volunteer.  I would have to be a volunteer if I wanted to go to Conference in Pennsylvania, which would take place the next month.
- The week after we went to Bayshore Mall, we went sharing at a nursing home in West Bend.  Our plan was to go sharing there put that never really happened.  Instead we played Bingo with a group of elderly people for probably over two hours.  We went to Arbys afterwards.  Jordan was sick with a cold.  Laurette and Jeremy came home with me.  That night we went and saw Jurassic World.  We watched the old one, one day at University so it was important to see the new one together.  We all shared one couch together at the theatre.  Before we got to the theatre I made the mistake of putting diesel in my car even though Jeremy questioned me about it.  My car wouldn't start after the movie so we needed to be picked up.

- The next day after that Courtney and her boyfriend came over so we could do a Bible Study to finish off our chapter of James.  She had lead a bible study that taught James during the school year that we all had attended.  (Unfortunately that would be the only bible study we would do over the summer).  During the bible study Luke was breathing really heavily, and my brother was sob laughing so it was kind of hard to take it seriously.

 Courtney and Robby took Laurette home and I took Jeremy to Hartford to meet up with Camara.  We walked down downtown Hartford and visited "Faith and Giggles". "Perc Place". and Scoop DeVille, where they had an old record Juke Box.  We then stopped at Hartford Park for a little bit. (That would be the only time I would see Camara this summer since she would be constantly working).
- The day after that Amber came down to Allenton with her boyfriend to go to Angela's graduation party.  Jeremy couldn't stay for the party because he was seeing The Barenaked Ladies in concert.  Amber got to Allenton a little later so I ended falling asleep on the couch while waiting, Jeremy played BNL music as I slept.  We then went to Allenton.  Amber's boyfriend brought Nerf Guns and for a bit it was him and Jeremy against Amber and I.  We ran outside and they were too lazy to chase us out there.  I curled up on the pink bean bag chair.  Jeremy went home then Amber and I went to Angela's graduation party.  I talked a bit but I was mostly super tired from all the events of the week so I zoned out a lot.  There was a ton of great food there though.

- Also in June we had a family get together Brewers Game.

-I was also given a job at the Threshold so I actually got paid :) 

July:

- July began with going to Summerfest with Liza.  She had gotten tickets to see Ed Sheeran.  I was so busy with work that this day was the only day I could make it there.  Unfortunately I had started to get a cold and had a sore throat that day.  I still had a lot of fun.  We went paddleboating, and I got a non-alcoholic Margarita for my sore throat.  We saw a really good band before Ed Sheeran although I can't remember what they were called, and had forgotten to look them up after I had gotten home.  Ed Sheeran was really cool.  It was probably the calmest concert I've been too.  At one point everyone put there phone lights on, and there was just a sea of lights.  It was so cool looking.  We couldn't see the firework show from where we were sitting but caught a few of them on our walk out.   I forgot how long it takes to get to one side of the grounds to the other.  

-Jeremy came over on a day I had off, and I didn't tell him anywhere we were going I just surprised him with places.  It was super hot but we went mini golfing and ended up tying.  (I found out later that 2 years before that exact day I had went there with Christian.)  I then took him to the CD store in West Bend.  I then took him to the gourmet popcorn store and found out he didn't actually like popcorn....  We then went to Candyman then I took him to the last surprises.  I took him to the park with the exercise equipment then we went for a walk in the woods as Jeremy discussed passed Conference stories, and our plans for the upcoming Conference.  

- That weekend I went to go see Shrek the Musical.  One of my musical friends, Amy was playing Fiona, and the theatre director was playing the Dragon.  It was a super funny show.

  - The next July event was Conference and I already posted about what happened each of those days elsewhere on my blog so I won't post that again.  

August:

- I went and saw Spam- A- lot with Angela.  I was laughing so much during the whole thing.  

- My parents and I went to Hayward for a week,  where we went minigoling, canoeing, went on a road trip, fishing, and shopping.  We had a cottage on the lake it was so beautiful.  :)  

- I finished off my last week of work the week after vacation and then attended two bridal showers that weekend.  My brother's fiancee Kaila, and my cousin Erika.  

- We had a Cru Retreat at a big house which I am posting a separate post about.

- I spent a day in the Racine/Kenosha area with Laurette going to Starbucks, Panda Express, the dog park, and a bookstore in Kenosha.
- To finish off the summer I'm going apartment shopping, and going to the spa Monday.