I'm not going to always be okay. I'm going to be afraid, I'm going to be broken. Through all of this it's going to be okay. Even if it doesn't feel like it. It surely doesn't feel like it for me. My parents are gone for the weekend and I'm totally alone which usually brings me less anxiety but now I'm a mess, and can't seem to sort myself out.
Panic attacks make me feel so vulnerable, and annoying. Annoying that I have to call my friends or have them help me. I want to be able to cure myself and feel like I'm just being annoying. I also don't want to worry about me. Each time I have one, I forget how truly terrible it is. I'm like I got a pretty good hold on this anxiety thing and then the next moment I'm literally shrunken down in fear, and I just wish it didn't have to be this way. The fact is were not always in control. We all have certain battles we are dealing with. Whether its mental or physical. It sucks but everyone has one.
God puts trials in our lives so we believe in something bigger, and to make up for his ultimate sacrifice. If everything were perfect in our lives we wouldn't search for something bigger. So with that I request you pray for my troubles and I'll pray for all of you guys and what ever you may be going through. Thank you for even reading my blogposts in the first place :)
Love you all ~Alex
it took me a very long time to accept family and friends help, but I learned that you can't do it alone. Everyone needs help from others. It's not a weakness it actually turns out to be a strength. You're stronger than you think you are as a matter of fact, you amaze me everyday!
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