Things to Ponder (Part 2)

    I did a post similar to this a few weeks ago.  I thought I would have a lot more posts, but I haven't gotten around to reading "Mere Christianity" as much as I thought I would so this will probably be my last post about it for a bit since it does need to be returned.  The first 1st post is elsewhere on my blog so if you want to read that first.
     
      Free Will?  Parents can tell their kids to keep their rooms clean, but it is their will whether they choose to listen or not.  The parents would rather have their children obey them, just like God would like us to follow his plan for our lives.  The parent's will to not make absolutely sure the room is always tidied has willed it to be a voluntary option for the children.  We have free will to follow God, but he doesn't force us to do anything.  People are free to be good or bad, which has made evil possible in the world.  If evil is in the world you may ask why God created free will in the first place? This is because even though free will creates evil it is also the only way possible to have any joy, happiness or goodness worth having in the world.  God wants to let us have the happiness of being free, and the happiness of voluntary getting to know him.  God knew the risk he was taking when he made free will. and he thought that it was worth it.

      Do We Really Need God?  Just like a car needs gasoline to run properly, we cannot live properly without God.  Since God created us we need him to survive.  He fuels us with the Holy Spirit.  Satan comes in and tries to make us run on the wrong fuel, making us believe we can survive without God.  We can but ultimately something will go completely wrong, and you won't be successful.

My Updated Summer Bucket List

1. Go to Summerfest (My favorite festival :D) Went with Liza and saw Ed Sheeran
2. Go to a beach and swim   Regner Park for work :) 
3. Record "A Beach in Michigan" monologue
4. Go on a hike Hiked at Trek while looking for a lake at night, Hiked with Jeremy in West Bend, Hiked in West Bend for work.
5. Get and enjoy a part-time job  I'm working at the Threshold, working with special needs kids.
6. Record YouTube videos
7. Visit Mayfair Mall
8. Milwaukee County Zoo
9. Spend a day in Chicago
10. Hang out with Amber as much as possible.  She worked to much and lived too far away :( 
11. See a concert  Saw Ed Sheeran 
12. Enjoy Conference :P Can't wait to go again :D 
13. Attend Living Light some Sundays.  I went twice, wish I could of gone more.
14. Learn New things (Learned how to do a new type of friendship bracelets, and what a labyrinth is)
15. Six Flags :D 
16. Wisconsin Dells Trip? :)  Plans got mixed up.
17. 5th Annual Summer Party?  (In planning) Too busy.  
18. Read some books?  I read "A Work in Progress" and "More Than a Carpenter" 
19. Go to the Movie Theatre to see movies such as "Paper Towns" :D I saw "Jurassic World" with Jeremy and Laurette, I also saw "Inside Out".  Paper Towns went out of theatres so quickly. 
20. Graduation Parties  Went to Angela's grad party 
21. Slumber Party with Friends (Ya'll are always welcome though)  Lets have another one during the school year.
22. Family Vacation: Hayward!
23. Fishing:  Yess!!!!
24. Eat a ton of icecream
25. Trekkk
26. Do new things (I went on a giant swing, and on giant roller-coasters, going to the spa)

Summer 2015

   It feels like Summer 2015 has been going on forever.  When I went to Conference in Pennsylvania it felt like I had been there for at least a month.  I'm definitely not complaining as this summer has been so packed and wonderful.  Even though it has felt so long, I'm still not too excited for school yet.  I thought with a longer summer vacation, I'd actually want to go back by the end of it but there's just something nice about free time.  So here's a little peak into what happened Summer 2015.

    May 2015
- The day before Trek Tyler, Laurette, and Jeremy stayed at my house and we watched TFIOS.  This is also where Snoop Whale was born, as well as the Flipping Ships catch phrase that would be used during Trek.
- The first weekend home was spent in Westby Wisconsin for Trek, a Christian Leadership Conference.  There we were put into a group of our school and UWWC.  During the 5 days we were there we learned about the importance of working as a team, our goals for campus next year, went ziplining, went on a giant swing, shared about Christianity to the people of LaCrosse, and went canoeing,  Jeremy's car ended up breaking down from too much twenty-one-pilots.  I made a couple of blogposts about it, so if you want to read more about it you can look on my blog.
- I spent a weekend at Jeremy's house.  We moved my brother out on a Saturday, and the next day would be his graduation, so we'd come back to Kenosha the next day, so I thought it was fitting just to stay there.  I also really wanted to go back to Living Light, and decided Sunday would be a good opportunity for that.  Jeremy's family had done the Color Run earlier that day, so they were full of color when I got to their house.  (After trying to find it for a half hour).  Jeremy was tired and went to take a nap, I ended up falling asleep as well on their couch in their living room.  Afterward Jeremy's little 5 year old brother decided to show off his selfie taking skills by taking his moms phone and taking selfies of us, and a picture of Jeremy and I together too.

  His grandpa also decided to visit that night along with Jeremy's mom's friend Dan.  We all decided to go to the restaurant that Jeremy and his sister worked at for dinner.  Jeremy's friend Steve showed up too, and would also sleep over that night too.  It was a nice restaurant right on Lake Michigan only five minutes from their house.  He's told me many times what its called but I've forgotten again...whoops.  Ridge Point, Reef Point? <---- probably not even close.

  His grandpa is a really cool guy.  That night Steve read fanfiction stories he had written about Jeremy's life until he was too tired.  In the middle of the night there was really loud sirens and the sound of Jeremy tripping over his couch.  The next morning we had M&M pancakes.  (I swear they put M&M's on everything).  Steve went home then I went to church with Jeremy and his family for half a service before leaving to go next door to Living Light.  (Are churches are next door to each other).  Jeremy and his sister stopped by during break then left to go back home.  Trae took me to Carthage where my brother was graduating after church.  On the way we had a super inspirational talk about life.
-Rick graduated from Carthage

June:

- I babysat two kids the week before I would go to job training, Dayton and Addison.  We watched Chuggington, and played house, as Dayton had a crisis at 3 years old about how he was getting old.
- I helped my mom clean our other house that originally belonged to my grandma.  My brother and his fiancee will move in, in October.
-My friend Lizzy from Trek decided that every week of summer she would go out sharing somewhere.  (I checked with her at the end of August, and she didn't miss any week.)  We ended up going sharing at Bayshore Mall.  Lizzy and Anna came along with their sister Haddy her friend, Jordan, and Jeremy.  Jeremy and I went out sharing together and were pretty unsuccessful, because everyone we talked to had to go to work.  We had caught them during their breaks apparently.  We ended up getting Superman flavored ice cream.  We debriefed at the Cheesecake Factory, then went to a Culvers in Milwaukee, and to a beach by a lake to hang out for awhile.  Jeremy and I also went to Jersey Shore that day.

Lizzy, Anna, and Haddy's friend and I would get lost in a Milwaukee ghetto later that night for an hour while trying to find the park and ride I had parked at at night.  All of our phones were dead.

- The next day I would go to Six Flags for the first time ever with Jordan, Jeremy, and Laurette.  It was for a Target Celebration Day.  I made a post about the trip to Six Flags already so you can read about that post.
-  Job Training started, and I sat through it all as a volunteer.  I would have to be a volunteer if I wanted to go to Conference in Pennsylvania, which would take place the next month.
- The week after we went to Bayshore Mall, we went sharing at a nursing home in West Bend.  Our plan was to go sharing there put that never really happened.  Instead we played Bingo with a group of elderly people for probably over two hours.  We went to Arbys afterwards.  Jordan was sick with a cold.  Laurette and Jeremy came home with me.  That night we went and saw Jurassic World.  We watched the old one, one day at University so it was important to see the new one together.  We all shared one couch together at the theatre.  Before we got to the theatre I made the mistake of putting diesel in my car even though Jeremy questioned me about it.  My car wouldn't start after the movie so we needed to be picked up.

- The next day after that Courtney and her boyfriend came over so we could do a Bible Study to finish off our chapter of James.  She had lead a bible study that taught James during the school year that we all had attended.  (Unfortunately that would be the only bible study we would do over the summer).  During the bible study Luke was breathing really heavily, and my brother was sob laughing so it was kind of hard to take it seriously.

 Courtney and Robby took Laurette home and I took Jeremy to Hartford to meet up with Camara.  We walked down downtown Hartford and visited "Faith and Giggles". "Perc Place". and Scoop DeVille, where they had an old record Juke Box.  We then stopped at Hartford Park for a little bit. (That would be the only time I would see Camara this summer since she would be constantly working).
- The day after that Amber came down to Allenton with her boyfriend to go to Angela's graduation party.  Jeremy couldn't stay for the party because he was seeing The Barenaked Ladies in concert.  Amber got to Allenton a little later so I ended falling asleep on the couch while waiting, Jeremy played BNL music as I slept.  We then went to Allenton.  Amber's boyfriend brought Nerf Guns and for a bit it was him and Jeremy against Amber and I.  We ran outside and they were too lazy to chase us out there.  I curled up on the pink bean bag chair.  Jeremy went home then Amber and I went to Angela's graduation party.  I talked a bit but I was mostly super tired from all the events of the week so I zoned out a lot.  There was a ton of great food there though.

- Also in June we had a family get together Brewers Game.

-I was also given a job at the Threshold so I actually got paid :) 

July:

- July began with going to Summerfest with Liza.  She had gotten tickets to see Ed Sheeran.  I was so busy with work that this day was the only day I could make it there.  Unfortunately I had started to get a cold and had a sore throat that day.  I still had a lot of fun.  We went paddleboating, and I got a non-alcoholic Margarita for my sore throat.  We saw a really good band before Ed Sheeran although I can't remember what they were called, and had forgotten to look them up after I had gotten home.  Ed Sheeran was really cool.  It was probably the calmest concert I've been too.  At one point everyone put there phone lights on, and there was just a sea of lights.  It was so cool looking.  We couldn't see the firework show from where we were sitting but caught a few of them on our walk out.   I forgot how long it takes to get to one side of the grounds to the other.  

-Jeremy came over on a day I had off, and I didn't tell him anywhere we were going I just surprised him with places.  It was super hot but we went mini golfing and ended up tying.  (I found out later that 2 years before that exact day I had went there with Christian.)  I then took him to the CD store in West Bend.  I then took him to the gourmet popcorn store and found out he didn't actually like popcorn....  We then went to Candyman then I took him to the last surprises.  I took him to the park with the exercise equipment then we went for a walk in the woods as Jeremy discussed passed Conference stories, and our plans for the upcoming Conference.  

- That weekend I went to go see Shrek the Musical.  One of my musical friends, Amy was playing Fiona, and the theatre director was playing the Dragon.  It was a super funny show.

  - The next July event was Conference and I already posted about what happened each of those days elsewhere on my blog so I won't post that again.  

August:

- I went and saw Spam- A- lot with Angela.  I was laughing so much during the whole thing.  

- My parents and I went to Hayward for a week,  where we went minigoling, canoeing, went on a road trip, fishing, and shopping.  We had a cottage on the lake it was so beautiful.  :)  

- I finished off my last week of work the week after vacation and then attended two bridal showers that weekend.  My brother's fiancee Kaila, and my cousin Erika.  

- We had a Cru Retreat at a big house which I am posting a separate post about.

- I spent a day in the Racine/Kenosha area with Laurette going to Starbucks, Panda Express, the dog park, and a bookstore in Kenosha.
- To finish off the summer I'm going apartment shopping, and going to the spa Monday.

Why We Cry Poem (The Heart of a Girl)

My friend Lizzy wrote this, and I felt inspired to post it because I think it's beautiful.  :)  I relate to this so much.
-------------------
We do it a lot I guess.
Crying.
I bet you think we cry for no reason sometimes.
That we don't know why we cry.
But you're wrong.
There's a reason.
A reason for every salty drop.
Each tear has a story.
They're reflections of our hearts.

It's simple really.
We love too much.
Too strongly.
Too deeply.
When we love someone we'd do anything for them.
Give anything.
Just to see them happy-
But so often they never see us.
They leave.

We care too deeply.
About everything.
People.
Kittens.
Stuffed animals.
Everything.
We want to take the whole world in our arms and protect it.
Never let it get hurt.
But we can't.
We forget to for protect ourselves.
And the very thing we try to protect hurts us.

We hold on too long.
We can't let go.
Or maybe we don't want to.
Those moments were so special.
They didn't mean to hurt us.
They'll come back.
Someday-
But they don't.

We give too much.
Our dreams. Our fears. Our secrets.
All you have to do is ask.
We'll tell you anything if you listen.
It's important.
We give you pieces of ourselves you know.
But you forget.
And it hurts.

We trust too easily.
We've been betrayed so often-
Hurt so much!
But we want so desperately to be able to trust again-
So we do...
We never learn I guess.

We need love.
desperately.
We love so hard because we know what it's like.
To live without it.
To be Rejected.
Not good enough.
Pretty enough.
And we try so hard-
To be lovable.
But we end up used.
I wish so many of us didn't settle for less-
but we do...

It's not a weakness you know.
Crying.
It's a strength.
We're strong enough to care-
To show we care.
So much.
We're strong enough to feel the pain.
Not to bury it deep-but FEEL it.
Live with it.
Even when it's unbearable we bear it.

We never give up.
We still believe in some days.
Wishing.
Dreaming.
Trying.
Ever afters and chocolate

We believe in laughing
Summer nights
Rain
Shooting stars
and pillow fights

But mostly, we believe in love-
Because it's beautiful
Even when it hurts
Even when we cry...

Things to Ponder (Part 1)

 Comparisons of things to other things to produce thought, about the ways of the universe and a being behind the production of the world.

-Asking Questions about why things happen:  The thing that we seem to struggle most about..... We want to know why things happen, but wanting to know things might be the cause of our troubles.   Adam and Eve sinned and were given the knowledge of good and evil.  They knew more than they were supposed to, and were ashamed about things like the fact that they were naked.  It never mattered before because they didn't know, it was just the way it was.  When they saw what was good and evil they began to question God.  We need to trust God regardless of what we know or don't know, then we can truly be at peace.

-If A God Exists Why Can't We See Him?:  Just like a builder of a house, isn't a part of the house itself like something you can see, like a fireplace doesn't mean you don't believe that the builder of the house didn't build the house.  Just like looking at a house won't allow you to learn much about the builder itself just by looking at the house.  It's the same with  a spiritual being just because "God" isn't a part of the Earth doesn't mean he didn't create it, and by just looking at the universe, you won't learn much about God himself.  

- Evil Can't Exist Without Goodness:  Things that are evil.  Badness is caused by people using the wrong methods to get something good.  In order for someone to be evil, they must possess the good things of intelligence and free will.  This would explain why the devil is considered a fallen angel.

-An Evil World:  We are in a world full of evil things.  On Earth we are at war between good and evil.  When we go to church, it's like we are gaining spiritual weapons to use against the evil forces which is why the enemy tries to keep us from going.  The enemy plays on our conceit, laziness, or intellectual stubbornness to get us not to go.

-The Concept of Atheism: If atheism was a true concept, the meaning of the universe would be simple. We know however that the universe isn't a simple thing but a complex thing.  The fact that the planets are so different but all act nearly the same as they all revolve around the sun, even though there are various differences between all the planets.  If atheism is true that would mean that the universe has no meaning.  This is flawed though, because in order to know the definition of meaning in the first place something must of put the thought into our heads. 

(Inspired by the book Mere Christianity) 

A Message to College Freshman

Here is a list of myths about your freshman year at college, and my actual experiences to go with these myths.

-You'll stay best friends with the people you meet right away:  This is partially true, I met one of my college best friends on the 2nd day of school, and I've been so thankful to have her throughout all of my college experience so far (Laurette).  Otherwise most of the people I met on my floor were the type of people I wouldn't want to associate with, all of their friendships were artificial.  Once I moved to the 1st floor of the dorms, whenever I would see them they just acted like they didn't know me, and I was glad to have moved them out of my life.  Minus my friend Nicole from the third floor.  I don't know how she ever dealt with all those people.  For me it took about two months until I found my friend group (family) at college.  (It's okay/normal to feel alone, and not find those people right away) If you go to a college knowing absolutely no one like me.

The Freshman 15:  A lot of the food at college is unhealthy, so you'll definitely have your fill of that.  I ended up gaining 10 pounds.  I still look fine so it's not much to worry about.

It's Okay to Skip Class: For some classes it's okay to skip a few classes, since most classes aren't mandatory in classes.  Some classes though like to randomly give you tests you can't make up on the days your not there, and some it will be hard to learn the material if you even miss one class.  So some classes you should definitely try not to skip.

Say Yes to Everything:  Freshman year is so full of experiences, your going to want to try a lot of new things, but sometimes your just going to need to rest or work on homework, and you'll have to say no, and that's totally okay.  It's totally okay to say no sometimes.

You'll Still Be Friends With Your High School Friends:  There's only two people I keep in contact with a ton yet since high school has ended, and that's my friend Amber, and Angela.  Your going to lose contact with some of your friends.  You begin to realize some people you only tolerated because you had to see them five days a week.  For me a lot of people moved away from my hometown, so it's hard to meet up with them, or they're busy working.  If their true friends though, you'll find away to keep in contact with them.  So yes you'll lose some people, but not the people that matter the most to you.  I thought I would miss some of the people from my grade after graduation but I honestly only miss a very few people.

Homesickness:  You're going to be homesick and that's okay, it was really hard for me the 1st week but it does get easier.  You're pets are probably going to be the biggest thing you'll miss.

Don't Trust People So Easily:  I trusted a lot of people that abused my trust, and although I learned from it, I wish I'd avoided those people in the first place.

Be Open-Minded:  If your close-minded you won't be able to experience things you wouldn't think you'd like, but end up liking them.  I'm very different then what I expected myself to be at college.

   If you have any questions about college, and what to expect don't be afraid to send me a message, and I'll answer your questions as best as I can.

My Ideal Guy

     I usually wouldn't do a post like this, but I think it's important to know what you want in a person, versus being totally unsure when going into a relationship.  You can avoid a lot of "bad" relationships that way.  If you don't know what you want people can take advantage of that.
      Recently when thinking about my future as a person going through a transitional time in their life usually does I've been putting thought into this.  Some guys, I would overlook because they seemed like the "perfect" Christian.  That they had their lives figured out.  I would look at myself as insufficient, because I wasn't yet as strong in my faith as them.  I'd think to myself: "Wow, they're going to make a girl really happy one day.  Whenever that thought would go through my head, another would say "It could be you"  I would always push that voice away because I thought there would be no way.  The more I think about it, the more I think: Yes it could, I do deserve something like that.  There's no one person better than the next, or one that God loves more, it's all based on how built of a relationship they have with God.  The guy is meant to lead the woman in faith, and not lead her astray.
    I want a guy that I can read Scripture with before we go to bed.  One that will keep encouraging me in my faith, who I don't have to prove myself to, because he sees the beauty in me through God.  A guy that when were fighting, stops and we take time to pray together, and let God help us through.  One that will try his hardest to protect my heart so I don't have to hurt.  A guy that I can share my spiritual gifts with, so that we can lead more people to God.
     A guy like that would truly be worth waiting for, and I hope I can come back to this blogpost one day, and smile because this was able to become true.  I'm sick of my heart being hurt.  I've always been one to see the good in people to fast, that I put myself in a vulnerable place.   I just feel like I've been trying to prove myself too much lately, and it just makes me feel not good, but God has already made us all in his image which is perfect, so it's definitely not healthy if I feel like I have to prove myself to someone.  I have faith God will find the perfect one for me, whether they be in my life already, or are still yet to come.

Final Day of Conference

7/24:  This is a little late being posted, since a lot of things have happened this week, but here it is now.
   For our last Young Adult Bible Hour we talked about how God has our name written on his hand.  After discussing this we drew a picture of the Earth with God's hands holding it up, with one of the hands having our names on it.  Written on the Earth were seven C's.  Which each stood for something different.  "C"elebration, "C"ompassion, "C"ollaboration, "C"hrist's Kingdom, In"C"arnation, "C"omplications, and "C"ovenant.
    During lunch I was a busser.  During free time Jeremy, Rachel, Walter, and I hung out at McKelvey.  Jeremy worked on editing the video he made with Walter, while Walter took a nap and Rachel and I made friendship bracelets.  Jeremy was able to finish editing the video while we were sitting there so we got to watch it.  Jeremy showed Maddy part of it before he had been done. along with Dan.
   We decided not to stay in the dining hall for since it was the last night, instead we went to Pizza Joe's with a few other people: Diedra, Hannah, Josh, and a few others.  Rachel and Jeremy stopped at Mugsies quick while we waited for our pizzas to use their gift certificates.

   We were finally able to sit on the couch at the Young Adult meeting after hoping to earlier in the week.  (Rachel, Jeremy. and I), however Rachel chose to sit somewhere else so it was Jeremy, Mary, and I on the couch.  During the Vespers meetings we were given the chance to go up front and give a speech about what he had learned throughout the week.  I was one of the people who went up, and told the story about actually getting to go to Conference after praying about it, and how Conference was like the only thing Jeremy ever talked about, and Pokemon, with a little bit of tie-dye.  Jeremy said that it had been the funniest thing he had heard all week, and he was glad I came.  Also about how everyone had given me such high expectations, I never thought would be met, but they were.

      That night Ellen decided to take our small group out to the labyrinth.  When we left we made sure the small group that was sitting in the lobby knew by singing the Dora Explorer Theme Song with Labyrinth words instead.  (Usually this would have been embarrassing, but everyone participated in the singing and marching of the song).  "Everybody lets go, come on get to work, I know that we can do it!  Where are we going? Labyrinth, where are we going Labyrinth!"  (We're pretty cool).   We decided to drive to the labyrinth instead of walking, which I was happy about.  We got there around 11:30 at night and while we were looking at it, Ellen stopped twice to scare us in the process. :P.  We walked the labyrinth and when we got to the center we prayed about our fears and sang together.  During this beautiful time of prayer and singing, a dinosaur sized mosquito landed on my knee.  I guess Pennsylvania has some huge mosquitoes....When we got back, we sang another song and marched up the stairs.  I then hung out in the lobby for a little bit as people played Spoons, made friendship bracelets, and Smash.

8 Years of Fluff (A Biography on the Best Cat Ever)

   Fluffer the Kitten 
   I was 9 when we found stray kittens in our yard in a tree.  A short-haired all gray one, and a short-haired gray and white one.  We took the two kittens into our smaller garage in our yard to take care of them.  We gave them milk and bread.  (Not knowing that giving milk to kittens is actually bad for them and causes them diarrhea).  A few days later Smokey took off so we went to go looking for him and found two more kittens instead in the cemetery across from our house.  Another all gray kitten we called Ender, and a little chubby gray and white long-haired cat (If you haven't guessed already, that one was Fluffer.)  We then had three kittens living in our small garage, and everyday I would walk down and check on them, or feed them.  Watching three kittens was kind of a big deal for a 9 year old.  It still probably would fill me with so much joy.  The other cats seemed shy compared to Fluffer, and because of this Fluffer seemed to get most of the food.  We referred to him as "Bully" for a little while.  Fluffer would also be the only one who would survive out of the kittens.  The kittens seemed to be abandoned because they had been sick.  (Pretty sure Fluffer was healthy, or overcame his sickness.)  I think I checked on them once before going to school, to find that one had died overnight, Ender.  Someday during this time my dad let us put Sammy, and Fluffer in the house, after supposedly hating cats, and wanting no part of them in our house.  Fluffer, and Sammy had gotten pretty dirty from living out in the garage so my mom decided to wash them in the bathtub.  Sammy ended up going into shock after she had been taken out of the bath.  She would continue to get worse after the bath and end up dying that night.

(Sammy)

 Since the other two kittens had died, we didn't really think Fluffer would live very long either.  But he would.  From being in the garage, Fluffer was moved into our basement, then we convinced my dad to let him be able to roam the house, and keep him in the basement at night.  We then bought cat things for him, and it was all done after that.  Fluffer was officially apart of the family after that.

Wait Fluffer was Skinny?
  Believe it or not growing up,  Fluffer was actually pretty skinny.  My mom used to joke that he looked like he could actually be a weasel.  During his skinny period of life Fluffer wasn't a nice kitty,  If you made him mad, he would chase you around the house, and if he didn't want to be held anymore, he'd cling onto your arm with all fours and hang there or scratch you.  Then like boy cats do he began spraying, so we decided to go in and get him fixed.  This is when Fluffer began to pack on the pounds.  He no longer was athletic enough to chase you as well, all though he could move really fast if he wanted to.  He no longer tried to be mean either, he kind of just chilled out.  Earlier in his life he was more of an outside cat, he absolutely loved being outside.  After he got fixed though, that all changed.  A cat that looked super similar to Fluffer roamed the cemetery across the street for a couple of years, and we guessed that had been the mom of Fluffer's litter.  She would have more kittens and a little old lady would stop by the cemetery everyday at a certain time to put out food for the cat and kittens.

He's Diabetic? 
  One day Fluffer wasn't getting around really well and just kind of laying around so we decided to take him to the vet for some tests, and found out that Fluffer was diabetic.  He lost a lot of weight for awhile because of this.  The vet put him on meds and that seemed to make him improve.  (We're starting to wonder if it was never diabetes afterall, and the pancreatic cancer had been slowly eating him away until now.)  My friend Jeremy also had diabetes so they became diabetes friends.

He's So Fat????
  I would tell people that Fluffer was big, but most people wouldn't actually believe me until they actually saw them and have mini freakout episodes.  Saying things like "That is the fattest cat I've ever seen" or "That's a big cat"  His size made him a very good cuddler, and a comfort for a bad day.  Even people who didn't like cats couldn't help but find Fluffer adorable.  My mom would even sing a song when he was younger "Kitty kitty two by four, can't fit through the kitchen door."  One of my friends, Christian really didn't like cats so he wasn't too excited to meet Fluffer, but then he did and Fluffer turned into a cat he actually really liked.  (My dad secretly liked him, even if he was in denial throughout Fluffer's life.

   When I cuddled Fluffer, he would sometimes cling onto my arm, as if he were giving my arm a hug, and it was probably one of the most adorable things ever.  (He actually did it at the vet's office the last day I saw him, when I held him for the last time.)  Also if you were talking Fluffer would put his paw on your mouth.  I guess he liked his quiet time.  

The End!? (Warning this part is sad) 

   On Sunday August 2nd 2015, we woke up to a very sick Fluffer.  A Fluffer that wouldn't eat, hardly moved. and was breathing weird.  We took Fluffer in for an emergency visit on Sunday, even though the vet's office was closed, the vet came in anyways to help.  The vet took an X-ray on Fluffer and noticed one of his lung lobes was filled with liquid.  She said that it would most likely be pneumonia since the liquid was in the lungs vs. outside the lungs which is a sign of cancer.  They took Fluffer overnight to inject him with steroids and antibiotics to see if he would get any better.  We went home that day, all confident he would get better and that he just had a cold.  It wasn't just a cold.  After more tests it showed Fluffer was not getting any better, and had cancer.  We wouldn't be able to bring him home.  My dad took my brother and I to the Vet's office on the following Tuesday, and we said our final goodbyes to Fluffer, and cried quite a lot.  He was very lively when we first got there, but then slowly started moving less and less.  That evening they put him down.  My mom picked him up the next day and we buried him in the yard, while telling stories about him.  

    There will never be another kitty as fluffy, or as cuddly as this kitty was.  He was a legend, and without him my arm strength will slowly become less and less without a giant kitty to pick up everyday.  :P 

6th Day of Conference (Thursday)

7/23/15:  Jeremy and Walter never showed up to morning meeting this morning.  I think both of them missed.  After they had fallen asleep during Chill on the Hill I guess that they woke back up and stayed up for awhile.  I missed half of the morning meeting the day before from not hearing my alarm.  This Conference is exhausting I guess, I've never slept through an alarm.  It had been going off for a half hour before I noticed.
      At the Young Adult bible hour we talked about labyrinths.  I had no idea what they were until that day. ha ha.  It sounds so mysterious.  Here's an example of one.  It's like a maze you weave through until you get to the center.

We also related life to being like a Maze.  How when you hit a dead end you have to get yourself out.  Dead Ends in a Maze can be anything that is a struggle to get through like doubt, or overthinking.  I also wrote down Psalm 139:18 in my notes for some reason.  I don't remember the reason but it says:" Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand, when I awake, I am still with you."

    For Dining Hall I was put on the best job:  Ice-cream scooping :D I'm much better at putting ice-cream in bowls then in cones I found out though. (Most people wanted cones.)  A boy complimented me on my ice-cream scooping skills, saying he had never had such perfect scoops of ice-cream before. :P 

    After lunch Jeremy's mom took pictures of the four of us (Jeremy, Rachel, Walter, and I).  I think she had been hoping we all were wearing the tie-dye shirts we had made that week, because all of the group I had come with was. (Walter didn't even make a shirt.)

    We then all proceeded to go film a video about Walter and Jeremy.  I completely true video about how they had met, their relationship with their parents, and what Veggie Tale characters each resemble.  They answered each question for each other.  Since this was such a serious video, you can catch me in the background crashed out sleeping while they're doing their interview.  No but really you should watch it, it's pretty great.  :)  Rachel was the camera-person that recorded the whole thing, and Jeremy edited it.  

Our Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3_XzPCUdCU (3 Facts About Walter & Jeremy)

        We started the editing process at the dorms, but the video wasn't able to be all edited at that time. Meanwhile the adult leaders had set up a slip-n-slide on the hill.  (It was a watered down tarp with dish soap down the very very steep hill.)  I went down a few times in all of my clothes, and changed into other clothes.  I went from grassy to classy as one of the girls had put it.  

   At the Young Adult Meeting we did prayer stations.  Prayer Stations uncovered a lot of things I had covered up with my happiness, and humor.  Things I just covered up without properly dealing with them.  I guess it was a good thing to have happen though.  Throughout the next nights I'd have dreams about the things I had buried within my mind.  

      At Chill on the Hill I talked to Cammy and Casey about our prom experiences, and faith, while having grilled cheese and tomato soup.  The food of the night.  That tomato soup was like the best ever.  xD Tomato soup is one of my favorite meals though.  We then played a couple of rounds of Bananagrams as we waited for small group to start.  

       For Small group Ellen was going to take us to the Labyrinth in New Wilmington, but during the Slip N' Slide she had hit her head pretty hard, so small group was cut short for the night.  

    

  

5th Day of Conference (Wednesday)

7/22:   Things learned at the Bible hour at the Young Adult meeting.
- "We are called to be inventors of loved"
- We did an activity where we drew a heart with SOS written in it.  The SOS stood for that we are "S"aved "O"ver and over again "S"acrament. Written along the outside of the heart was the word Imagination and God's Love.  On the outside of Imagination was the word Belonging.
-  We also did another activity where we drew a sheet of 16 Love Stamps and changed the O's into a picture of something including: Bread, Baptism Water, a Communion Cup, and an eye for Vision.

     At the morning meeting the speaker related a story from his childhood to the gifts God has given us.  His story was about how he had been given a wallet as a gift from his grandma but he never used it or even looked at it.  He just put it on his shelf, until one day six months later he took it off the shelf and opened it up and noticed that there was $20 in it.  He said that he had been $20 richer six months ago without even knowing it.  It's the same with God, how he gives us gifts but sometimes we don't realize what he's given us (our potential) until later, even though we had those gifts the whole time.

    For lunch I was on bussing duty.  After our lunch duty for the day, our supervisor gave us each $7 gift certificates to go to Mugsies.  I guess the dining staff this year had been really good.  They also celebrated Conferences birthday today, so all the Conference staff wore their Conference shirts.  Jeremy's mission of the day was to meet 2 people I hadn't met yet.  

     First at Free time Jeremy and I picked up the tie-dye shirts we had made on Monday.  While picking up the shirts Jeremy's brother somehow managed to run off, and the family had to go searching for him.  I guess he likes to run off and go to the dorm building.  

    After that free time I asked my small group leader Ellen if I could talk to her, because she had seemed so interesting to me and I wanted to get to know her better. There was nine other girls in her group, so there was no way I was going to get one-on-one time with her without asking first.  She couldn't meet me right away so I went back to the dorm and took a power nap.  (Cammy was deep asleep when I got there.) (It was Jeremy's cousins birthday who was at Conference so him and his family celebrated that during free time.) 

     Meeting with Ellen was super interesting.  She told me stories of her being on missions overseas, and stories about the supernatural, and her gifts of prophecy, and seeing spirits.  She also recommended me a book.  She thought that I would find her stories fake, and that probably would have been true a year ago but I've heard too many stories and I've seen so many things since then that I definitely believed her.  

    I next went to Mugsies to see if I could accomplish Jeremy's mission and meet new people, but all of the people there were either middle schoolers or in serious discussion.  I again had ordered a frozen hot chocolate.  

   At dinner I met one of Andi's friends and she became the first person I met, I also had a bit of time 

before the evening meeting, and that's where I passed Jeremy's mission by meeting two Rachels.  (There were so many Rachels at the Conference.)

   Jeremy and Walter went to sleep after the evening meeting during Chill on the Hill time.  Chill on the Hill that night was brownies, icecream, and Root Beer Floats, a little too much for my little soul to handle.  I had two brownies, and a Root Beer Float, and almost died from stomach explosion.  I talked to Cammy for a bit then we played Bananagrams together, then a lot of people started to join.  I didn't win any of the rounds but it was still a lot of fun.  

     At Small group we usually told stories about farts or using our spiritual gifts, but tonight we talked about our fears.  My fears were being called to go to a dangerous country, not using my gifts, and not ever finding a husband or having a family.  Saying the fears out loud made them seem more bearable and i think just saying your fears out loud is important.  It was kind of hard to admit that I was afraid of being single since Ellen (our small group leader,) hadn't found a husband or had a family at the age of 38.  Mary was afraid that she wouldn't be remembered.  

     

4th Day of Conference (Tuesday)

   7/21:  I didn't end up writing barely anything for this, so that's a little sad.  I don't remember much that happened but I'll try to see if I can dig something up.
        At the morning meeting Walter did a rendition of "Uptown Funk" that was renamed to "Uptown Folk."  The song had been written by Maddy, and Walter and a few others did a dance to it.  Walter being the lead singer.  "Uptown Folk"  was a parody written about the experience of Conference with lines like
    - "Uptown folk are there for you."
    - "Take my cup put some coffee in it."
    - "Too hot, Pizza Joe's"
    - "Free time, Hallelujah!"
    - "Uptown here we go."
       I would post the link to this beautiful performance, but I don't think it's on YouTube.
      For lunch I was a dishwasher.   After lunch Jeremy gave me a new mission which was to find out what the Mission Bazaar was.  I wasn't able to ask him, Rachel, or Walter so I asked someone who's been at Conference just as long.  I ran up to Maddy and asked her.  She told me what it was, and I told Jeremy I was leaving.  It turned out to be like a missionary rummage sale with things from all over the world that missionaries didn't want to keep in their houses anymore at cheaper prices.  I was really intrigued by the things and ended up buying a mini wooden cross from Bethlehem, a fan from Japan, and a box of foreign stamps.  The box of foreign stamps was free.

     After visiting the store I went back to the dorms to go shower, only to find out the blood drive was taking place in the same building as Mission Bazaar had been.  I waited in the room for a long time at the blood drive but it turned out that I wasn't able to give blood because my hemoglobin level was too low.  At this point I was super tired so I went back to the dorms to go sleep for a bit.
       After the evening meeting God brought up a lot of hidden emotions for me so I had a quiet time that night before small group.  After small group I met up with a very tired Jeremy in the lobby to share with him certain memories I had written in my journal earlier that year.